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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 2, 2013 18:38:32 GMT
I was far too busy to write yesterday, so here is two days in one (sorry it's a long one!):
Well, day 6 was our day 'off''. How I wish we had relaxed, but instead we rushed around a retail park, two relatives houses, the supermarket and struggled to fit a giant safety gate on the top of our stairs! Consequently, today we both feel absolutely shattered.
We had our midway review this morning, so we arrived early. Sadly little bee was a little off with us after a day away and just wanted his FC. Thankfully he was just coming round to us as the SWs arrived at the FC's house. It was very odd as we sat on the floor engaging with little bee whilst the 'grown-ups' around us talked about us as if we weren't there. We were eventually asked how we felt about the intros plan and the rest of the week but I knew nothing would really change so I kept fairly quiet. However, I did have a chance to admit that I found it hard when little bee had too many people distracting him and this was noted.
After the meeting we got going to our house, along with FC and littley promptly fell asleep in his car seat. Rather than wake him I sat in the car outside our house with him until he came to naturally. He woke up with not a cry and happily came into the house where he fit right in! It was so lovely having him here playing with new and old toys, but mainly having a good crawl about getting to know the place. He also took lots more steps which was amazing to see. We fed little bee his lunch and FC left us to it in the other room, which was good of her as I could see she was struggling to 'detach'. We then had more of a play for a couple of hours and were due to go back to FC's house for tea. Unfortunately FC had a call from school to say that one of her children was poorly, plus we were not feeling bright so we decided that we'd just take little bee and FC back and call it a day.
Since then we have been resting up and had loads of veg for tea as I'm determined to be fit and healthy for the rest of the week.
It was so wonderful to have little one home with us today and I can't wait for time without FC there, but at the same time I am now getting very nervous about impending full time motherhood. It is such a great responsibility and I just want to 'get it right'.
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Post by nomoretears on Dec 2, 2013 20:01:05 GMT
Hope today went well for you all. First steps, huge milestone!!
Agree with Moo and Kstar that it might be a good idea to try and "wean" him on to some more healthy food ASAP - it's certainly not recommended to give a child under 12 months chocolate. Or biscuits. Be wary of raisins and sultanas though - even though they're marketed as healthy options my dentist said they're just as bad for teeth as a packet of Haribo.
Kstar I think your Starlet has the same taste in fruit as me!
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Post by nomoretears on Dec 2, 2013 20:05:03 GMT
Sorry, totally missed your entry from today Bumbleb33!
Must feel great to finally be on the home stretch!
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 2, 2013 21:37:24 GMT
Hope today went well for you all. First steps, huge milestone!! Agree with Moo and Kstar that it might be a good idea to try and "wean" him on to some more healthy food ASAP - it's certainly not recommended to give a child under 12 months chocolate. Or biscuits. Be wary of raisins and sultanas though - even though they're marketed as healthy options my dentist said they're just as bad for teeth as a packet of Haribo. Kstar I think your Starlet has the same taste in fruit as me! Thanks for the heads up about the raisins, I had no idea! We're going to start introducing fruit and veg as soon as he's home.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2013 21:45:27 GMT
Good to hear FC backed off a little when you were on your own home turf. Sounds like you are gaining confidence by the day. although I have to say FC isn't making it easy for you is she. Hopefully more Bee time tomorrow. And fab that you got to witness his first steps, that's special.
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Post by knight on Dec 2, 2013 22:08:52 GMT
Well the day sounded to be much better, great to hear....extra steps as well, absolutely wonderful timing for you both, getting to see those "first". enjoy the remaining few days before he's home forever
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Post by moo on Dec 3, 2013 6:26:50 GMT
Well done bumble little bee comes home for the day... Yay yay.... Exactly right to let him wake with you in the car.... Brilliant..... Sad that you still feel overcome by f/c & that she is not stepping back.... I hope from now on you can pick up little bee & take him back to yours ALONE....( that is how it should be....... so nearly move in day....)== especially as f/c has so many other responsibilities , you don't want to cut short again this is your & little bees time....
Yep the prob with all fruit is bad bad bad.... Sadly it is a price that I have been willing to pay for healthy eating.... My two have great teeth but very very tiny as the juice & acid has eroded them down..( baby teeth only ) My dentist was fine about it said that it is a " different " decay from sugars in sweets & choc.... So wadddayaknow?
They don't have cavities.... Now they are older tooth brushing is better & after fruit....Tuff choices..... I just can't bear bics or choc or sweets to excess.... My two were fed far too many bics & not proper meals but they very quickly settled when first placed to ' proper' balanced nutrition.... They were more stable in their ' behaviours ' & energy surprisingly quickly.... They also were constantly very hungry knock on effect from ' sugar rush feeding' but that settled immediately upon a balanced diet.... I know they were older than little bee but I think sugar excess is confusing to very little ones.... Mine have sweets & choc & bics now but as a treat in very measured amounts.... It is very common for the masses of refined sugar & additives in these things to pay havoc with hyper or challenging behaviour.....
Well done bumble for hanging in you really are doing so very well..... Please try to be ( heehee ) confident you really are doing so brill.... When is move in day??
Thanx for the wonderful diary...... Xx
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by gilreth on Dec 3, 2013 17:04:41 GMT
Glad to see you are feeling things are improving. We were lucky in that Sqk loves bread sticks and fruit so will happily snack on those. Our dentist said to save raisins for meal times - stickiness is one of problems apparently. On the whole other than him deciding all veg except peas and baked beans are not good we've had a reasonable time. Hope FC continues to back off - we seemed lucky in that regard.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 3, 2013 21:53:11 GMT
Thanks for the kind words and advice everybody. We're getting closer to P-day* now...
(*placement)
We collected little bee and his FC and took them to a scheduled hospital appointment. It was a bit odd as we were asked questions about little bee that we couldn't answer and had to explain about our unusual situation. It was all over and done with fairly quickly thankfully and we were on our way home for the first time with just the three of us.
Little bee seemed very comfortable at home and spent a lot of the time trying to chase our cat which was sweet to watch them scope each other out. We had a lovely day playing together before returning to the FC's for tea. He was quite grouchy waiting for his tea which I think was running late, plus we'd woken him up from napping in the car. However he ate really well, which was good as he hadn't had much lunch. He was content afterwards until a typically difficult nappy change and putting on of PJs. Thankfully, little bee soon calmed down and we got lots of cuddles before saying goodbye for the evening.
Unfortunately I've been feeling queasy all day, I don't know if it's a bug or stress or both. I'm finding it quite daunting as placement day looms and 24/7 responsibility kicks in. He hates being dressed and having nappy changes and I'm so worried how I will cope when I won't have my husband with me to help. I just hope wth time he'll get used to me and my confidence will grow.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 4, 2013 22:17:12 GMT
Day 9 - Longest and best day yet : )
We picked up little bee at 9am and very reluctantly had to return him at 7pm.
More playing and a decent nap this morning, lunch then after a bit more playing we went out for a walk where little bee slept for the whole hour we were out and then some! We took the opportunity to pick up leaflets at local children's centres for potential groups to go to in the near future. It was so lovely being out and about just 3 of us feeling like a proper little family. We also spent some time playing in little bee's room and in his cot so that he feels comfortable there. We're still torn over having him in with us (as he is at FC's house) or in his own room so that he only has one change. At least littly and the cat are getting on well, so that's one less thing to worry about.
We had a successful tea time and then quietened things down before we had to return. Little bee is not interested in TV at all (no bad thing!) and is too young to be read to properly but he enjoyed being cuddled whilst listening to Nick Drake. When we arrived at FC's house you could tell that little bee was confused and of course made a fuss when we had to undress him for his bath. Bathtime went fairly well and he gulped down his bottle afterwards. FC put him to bed and he was a little distressed but settled quickly. We then have to do this all over again for the next 2 nights, which I so wish we didn't have to. FC constantly tells us how upset she is and wished it could be quicker but then won't consider cutting short the intros. I can't see any benefit in drawing this out now as little bee seems so happy with us in our home.
Not long now...
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 4, 2013 22:43:07 GMT
P.s. some more things popped in to my head,I updated my blog but I need sleep now!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 23:31:43 GMT
Oh that's great Bumbleb. Things are so much easier when you are just left to get on with it. Sounds like FC is finding it hard to let go. Is she used to this, or is Little Bee her first fosling she's moved on? Just grin and bear it, in two days time he will be yours forever.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 5, 2013 11:31:33 GMT
Oh that's great Bumbleb. Things are so much easier when you are just left to get on with it. Sounds like FC is finding it hard to let go. Is she used to this, or is Little Bee her first fosling she's moved on? Just grin and bear it, in two days time he will be yours forever. Our boy is not her first to be moved on, but I think there was disruptions last time so she is very nervous. Also he is adorable and she cares for him very much, so I do understand that it's hard for her,I just don't think we need to hear it so much. For example, she didn't think we should buy him any new clothes for him for 6 months but bought him 2 new jumpers on the intro day off on Sunday.
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Post by nomoretears on Dec 5, 2013 13:06:58 GMT
No wonder he's confused if he's going back to FC at 7pm then having a bath and bottle!! Most babies would be fast asleep by then. For the first night, maybe two nights, I'd suggest he goes back to FC shortly after his tea and you do the bath, bottle, bed routine there, then following that he should go back to FC ready for bed - and you put him to bed. Likewise in the morning it should be you getting him up and ready for the day (ideally from the minute he wakes up but babies aren't robots and their waking time isn't that predictable). Of course this is little help to you now but for any others about to go through intros it's definitely something to bear in mind!
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 5, 2013 20:47:06 GMT
I hope our LA and other FCs/SWs/adopters learn from our experiences and the suggestions that have been made in this thread. Anyway it's all over now...
Basically day 10 was the same as yesterday, but as we were going out for an afternoon walk we got a call from our SW asking how it was going. We admitted that we were finding the evenings very difficult as it is getting so confusing for little bee and that we thought intros were being prolonged unnecessarily. Our SW agreed that it would be better to bring little bee home for good a day earlier, but she spoke to littly's SW who then spoke to FC who basically said no. So we just carried on as normal and got on with things.
Little bee didn't nap for long in the day so he was getting very tired and cranky after tea, around the time we were due to take him back to his FC's house. Obviously we would've loved to have put him to bed but we couldn't, plus we had to try and keep him from sleeping in the car as well. When we arrived at the FC's house she was already in tears and told us that she'd emailed the SWs saying that we could have little bee a day early after all! We were in shock. Obviously that is what we want but were so surprised that FC had backtracked at the last minute. This was all going on in front of little bee and other children and was stressing out everyone involved. There were tears at bedtime but little bee quickly settled thankfully. We hugged FC as we didn't want to leave on bad terms, just said we'll see what happens and went on our way a little puzzled by everything. We called our SW who said she was going to speak to lil bee's SW in the morning but I said we need to know what's happening before that really. After a short while we got a call back saying, yes, we're good to go.
So now I'm in shock really. Happy obviously, but can't quite believe that little bee is coming home for good tomorrow. It's not quite under a cloud, but I do think that the FC only caved under pressure. I honestly believe that her reasons were selfish rather than for the best of little one and she must've realised this in the end. Of course it will be hard to give him up any day, but there's no need to string it out just so she can say goodbye at a more convenient time.
So that's it. Introductions over. Early night tonight for tomorrow is placement day!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2013 22:39:50 GMT
Wow what a turn around.
It's a shame that FC let her own feelings/needs take precedence over what was best for Little bee, but you must just try and not think about that and concentrate on your son.
Make sure that when you go to bring him home that you make it quick, no staying for coffee and chats, as it will only make it worse and harder for her to let him go. Quick is really the best thing for all of you, but you could phone/email her the next morning just to let her know how his first night went and to reassure her that he is ok. Remember she has been his mum for a year and it is hard for her too.
Hope you've gone to bed and good luck tomorrow.
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Post by moo on Dec 6, 2013 18:22:52 GMT
Yay bumbleb33..... Not been online sorry...... Fantastic turnaround.... Much much better for Lil bee & you all.... At last this unease is lifting.... Really didn't think the f/c madness could continue much longer!!!
So mummy & daddy get to keep lil bee at home..... YAY such great news congratulations......
So here you are the begining of the rest of your lives.... Now breathe.... It really will be fine you will be so great.... It is a bit daunting but just relax & enjoy your beautiful little boy..... Please don't forget us & keep posting... Xx
Xxx. moo. Xx
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Post by bumbleb33 on Dec 6, 2013 20:37:11 GMT
Wow. Friday 6th December 2013 should stay in my mind forever more as they day we bought home our boy for good. We were up early so that we could get to the supermarket as soon as it opened to get FC flowers. I was feeling sick with nerves about how things would go at the FC's house. At 8:30am Little Bee was waiting for us, bags packed, coat on and reached out for his Daddy with a great big smile on his face. We kept things very brief as I knew that FC was very upset and we were on our way. A wave of relief came over me.
We then kept things as they had been the rest of the week, keeping to lil bee's routine. We took him out in the afternoon to buy his 1st pair of shoes and he was such a good boy being measured up for them. Bless him it's taking a bit of used to having things on his feet, but he's still toddling away.
He was getting very cranky after tea so we bathed him a bit earlier than he's used to and played with him for a while but decided he really should go to bed rather than keeping him up any longer. He had his bottle but then brought most of it up again, when we were sure he'd finished bringing up milk we lay him down at about 7:15pm. There were a few tears but hubby soothed him and he calmed down after a few minutes. We haven't heard a peep since, but are listening intently to the baby monitor.
This will not only be his first night in his new home but also his first night in his own room, so I hope that he will be OK when he wakes up on his own. We'll be up like a shot I'm sure.
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Post by gilreth on Dec 6, 2013 21:23:18 GMT
Yeah he is home with you. It is a great feeling is it not. Still 7 weeks in (tomorrow) and I remember the feeling well. We were very lucky in his foster carer who although her last pair out had disrupted ( and are back with her for long-term FC) was still incredibly supportive.
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 7, 2013 11:05:46 GMT
Hi bumblebee...
Wow what a journey for you, so sorry intros have been harder then they needed to be for you all but v glad you are back home... With a little bee!!! How wonderful
We are three weeks in with curious george who's a similar age to yours...
One thing we've noticed with george that's easing off now Was although he usually went to bed at 7 at FC... For the first two weeks he has exhausted with the move and adjustment and over stimulation of everywhere being new and needed way more sleep than usual... He went back to two naps during the day for the first two weeks and went to be can hour earlier because he needed to. Even when they are just at home, everything is new and for us george was used to being at home with FC on his own during the day and having time where he'd just fiddle quietly with his toys, whereas with new parents we tend to play and interact all day ESP with two parents off, which is good for bonding but v v v tiring for lo...
Poor little one also sounds like they are carrying a lot of FC emotion and confusion.
Lots of chances for sleep and gentle time will be great for all if you
Xxx
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2013 16:34:34 GMT
Congratulations Bumble - so pleased little bee is finally home. Hope you managed to get some sleep last night and weren't looking at him all night. I have made you an avatar which you might like on page 9.
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Post by moo on Dec 9, 2013 12:16:15 GMT
Congrats.......
Great news bumble33.... Enjoy....
X. moo. Xx
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