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Post by spideress on Nov 5, 2013 21:34:17 GMT
We met him at the FC for the first time today. We had 90 minutes of being watched like we were goldfish in a bowl and it felt very awkward. The FC house was PRISTINE, not even one speck of dust and it looked like every room had been assembled by a professional. It felt a lot like sitting in one of the display rooms in IKEA and did not feel like a "home" at all. Incy is going to be in for a shock when he sees our house with all it's nick-nacks and jumble sale like furniture and walls full of lumps and bumps covered with wallpaper! Aside from the unnatural situation Mr Spider was INCREDIBLE with Incy. He got a natural instant connection with him whereas I think I am going to struggle for a while. It could be that Incy simply prefers men so that puts me on a back foot before we even start but our strategy for tomorrow is for Mr Spider to either include me in his interactions with Incy so that we do things as a "three" or that from time to time he takes a background stance and allows me some 1-1 time with our son. We will have 2 hours 45 mins there in the morning and then will see Incy's old school teacher after. Mr Spider is ECSTATIC at being called "daddy" but I am finding the "mummy" title really odd and it took me a few seconds to respond to it when Incy said "Mummy who is sleeping with the Gruffalow..." I came away from it all pretty "shell shocked" and feeling unable to mentally process and consolidate it all so we went for a meal to talk things through. Once we had got back into our normal routine of just me and Mr Spider in Morrison's then at home the "shock" wore off and I became ME again Incy is certainly a lovely little boy but whilst Mr Spider would have him home tomorrow and already "feels" like he is our son and belongs with us right now I feel like he "belongs" with the FC in the house that is 10,000 times nicer than ours and would be better off with just Mr Spider as his parent rather than having to have me as his mummy. I am committed to him but I certainly do not feel "love at first sight" as such which is probably not the "wonderful" of what people want to read with intros but that is just the way that it is for me at the moment. I expect the next few days of seeing him will start to make things feel a lot better.
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Post by gilreth on Nov 5, 2013 22:01:20 GMT
I had a similar experience with Sqk bonding to my husband quicker than he did to me. However over the last 2 weeks - and also during the three days I flew solo during Intros the bond has developed. It is a bizarre experience - and I felt more comfortable once we were at our house rather than FC - although thankfully her house was anything but pristine. The idea of love at first sight just does not seem to happen - I was definitely pretending for a while before the bond really came.
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Post by kstar on Nov 5, 2013 22:21:17 GMT
I have said a few times how important it is for people not to necessarily expect intros to be this amazing, awe-inspiring time in their lives... I hated about 80% of mine! not because of Starlet, who to be honest I took to in the first five minutes, but because the relationship between me and the FC was very awkward, nothing went according to the plans, the weather was horrendous, I was tired, emotional and on my own 90 miles from home... All after I had spent months building up my excitement levels!
I totally sympathise with you, even though I didn't have the same issues as you are describing. All I can say is this... Within hours of having Starlet at home with me, with no one watching us and no one else involved, all of that just melted away and we started to become a family. Now, six months on, although the way i was treated still rankles, it is totally insignificant in comparison with all the amazing memories we have created together!
Try to keep your chin up, grit your teeth and think of the future :-) xx
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patanya
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
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Post by patanya on Nov 5, 2013 22:33:57 GMT
Spideress well done on your honesty. This can be a very tough time. You are all getting to know each other and this is a tremendous change for you all. My advice take one day at a time. There will be good and not so good days. If you can think about your commitment to him and love in time will come in time. I did fall in love with my little boy as soon as I saw his photo and then met him. With my husband it took longer. Forget the FCs house. It's not about that. You can provide him with lots of other much more important things. Good luck you will get through this xx
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Post by oogleschnook on Nov 5, 2013 23:45:53 GMT
((((spideress)))) Remember my DH being completely smitten from day 1 and it taking me a bit longer, quite normal! Just remember intros are only just the start of your journey with Incy. I know I put far too much pressure on me for them to be perfect... Sounds like you've a good plan for tomorrow, hope it goes well. OSx
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Post by daisy1985 on Nov 6, 2013 6:29:13 GMT
Spideress, looking forward to reading your intros!
The saying "fake it till you make it" I believe rings true!
Don't expect too much of yourself as it can be a shock, intros weren't the problem for me, I came home and wanted to be super mum! And Donald didn't really have any expectations! Needless to say once we were home the pressure I put on myself stressed me out, in the end I sat in the garden crying until Donald found me! It's not easy but he told me if j tried not to have expectations and to just roll with it I wouldn't get stressed which in turn would keep the kids calmer and help bonds form! And hey presto it worked!
You will be fine I know it!
Text me any time you need to can't wait to see some gorgeous pics of incy, from first glimpse he is a little cutie pie! Xx
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2013 8:22:24 GMT
Try not to worry too much Spideress. Intro's are terribly un-natural at the best of times. You will feel much more "normal" when Incy is at your own home. It's hard being in someone else's home feeling you are being watched/monitored all the time. Just enjoy watching Incy's growing relationship with Mr. Spider. Watching him fall in love with Incy will help your own love to grow. You probably didn't fall in love with Mr. Spider at the first meeting either, so why expect it to happen straight away with Incy.
If you were asked overnight to look after a friends child, you would care for that child, look after him, feed him, keep him safe and warm, but you wouldn't necessarily feel instant love for the child, but if for some reason that child had to then live with you forever, the love and commitment would grow as you got to know each other. It will come with time, just take it one day at a time and try and stop worrying about it.
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Post by spideress on Nov 6, 2013 8:24:47 GMT
The saying "fake it till you make it" I believe rings true! This is such good advice, a phrase I already knew but was not at the forefront of my mind as it is now! We are leaving in half an hour to go see Incy again
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Post by spideress on Nov 6, 2013 8:29:12 GMT
You probably didn't fall in love with Mr. Spider at the first meeting either, so why expect it to happen straight away with Incy. This is exactly what I have been reminding myself of. Mr Spider was head over heels for me a LONG time before I was prepared to admit I loved him. We went for probably *at least* 12 months where I kept saying "I love you - I think" whereby he would just say to me "I love you". After a REALLY long time I finally said to him "I love you" as by then I had realised that I really did love him
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Post by bumbleb33 on Nov 6, 2013 9:45:55 GMT
Thank you for writing this Spideress. Whilst it's lovely to hear about smooth intros I know it can't go that well for everyone. I am excited to start ours but so nervous and reading about your experience is a useful insight.
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Post by nomoretears on Nov 6, 2013 12:40:44 GMT
Hi Spideress, forget about the pristine house - if she's anything like me she'll have spent a week cleaning!! The first time I did introductions I even redecorated a room!
I've moved quite a few children on and can honestly say that every single time the child has taken to daddy more than mummy. I don't know why this is. Quiet daddies, playful daddies, it's just ALWAYS daddy! I remember one new mummy saying she was going to make the most of that by letting daddy do all the nappies too... (Wont work with a 4 year old I guess!) I know it's hard but try not to force it - one new mummy used every tactic she could, from bribing with sweets to physically picking the child up every two minutes, and it really set them back. It was only after a couple of days of suggesting, then strongly suggesting, that she let little one go to her in his own time that she took it on board and voila, child was more comfortable and wandered over to see what she was doing.
Things really will be different in your own home.
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Post by sivier on Nov 6, 2013 13:28:09 GMT
Hope the day goes well - it may feel quite different from the first. I remember coming home with very mixed emotions during intros. No More Tears' observation is very interesting.. again we experienced this with AD having a strong preference for daddy from the off..and good advice to let LO come to you in his own way, own time. DH can help as you suggest by including you, stepping back quietly from time to time. I can sense the hurt in your first post above... It is really hard not to take it personally but it isn't personal, it is survival. My AD experienced loss of BM and two female foster carers before coming to us so she naturally was hugely wary of me at first - dismissive even. So it uncommon, as No More Tears says, but can hurt when you have waited so long. Take care, take a deep breath, we are thinking of you.
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Post by annie70 on Nov 6, 2013 14:26:12 GMT
Just adding my support Spideress... not been there myself yet but I think what is happening and how you are feeling is totally natural in such an unnatural situation! We have visited FC's house twice now while Zippy was at school and it was spotless and tasteful and huge... BUT that's not what it is about - ours too is full of nick-nacks and charity furniture and rammed full but that's what makes it a home Hope today goes well for you - keep us posted and take it easy on yourself Axx
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Post by spideress on Nov 6, 2013 18:44:34 GMT
Day 2 was a zillion times better. Firstly everyone was much more relaxed and Incy showed us his toy box with all his toys. Mr Spider took a step back some of the time (as we had agreed) and this made a HUGE difference, giving me proper 1-1 time with Incy. We managed to get a few photos taken but Incy decided he REALLY wanted to play with the camera taking photos himself and so he was allowed to have it though I think at some point I am going to have to learn how to be a bit more firm with keeping him under control. I even had chance to clean Incy's poo bottom after he had been to the toilet (he asked for me to go with him) and I think I did an OK job though could do better next time. We were with him nearly 3 hours today and then went to see his old school teacher after to get some of his school history.
I was really tired when I got home so went to bed for 90 mins but having got up again I have to say I feel REALLY ill, its like the flu hitting me full force at once........I think its just the extreme of emotion and enormity of the responsibility etc kicking in all at once. I am going to make us something to eat and if I do not feel better after I think I will be going back to bed for a bit even though I have a real lot of tidying that needs to be done.
Tomorrow we have him for 3 hours and are to take him out somewhere unsupervised so that feels quite nerve wracking. The weather has been pretty poor so we are trying to find something "indoors" to do though it if stays fine me might at least be able to walk around outside a bit or kick a football in a park.
One question though..........Incy often blasphemes (even though he is not aware he is doing it or that it is "not ok")....how should we start to deal with it?
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Post by annie70 on Nov 6, 2013 19:35:30 GMT
Hey Spideress... so pleased day 2 was better and that your plan worked... and that Incy has started asking for you to help him (albeit with the bum stuff!)
I really hope you feel better later... vitamin C and early bed to try and make sure - I am sure it is the stress of the situation kicking in as you say...
Re. tomorrow - is there a soft play place nearby? Can the FC advise somewhere that is familiar to him? We will be going to soft play and to MacDonalds when we take Zippy out - not our chosen places but FC says they are his 2 favourite treats...
I can't help with the blaspheming I am afraid - my instinct would be to ignore it to start with and model good language yourselves... and perhaps after a while whenever he blasphemes to repeat which ever work you use instead and leave it at that...? I fear that if you make a big deal of it at this stage he might do more of it after the honeymoon period??!!
Lots of love and luck for tomorrow Axx
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Post by loadsofbubs on Nov 6, 2013 19:38:12 GMT
if i'm honest I am always far happier reading about intros like your's incy because the instant love/attachment/joy etc often seems to curdle after a time when the reality sets in. far better to start with the reality in my opinion! but glad today was better.
its also very common for adopters (and foster carers and even the children) to get ill through or shortly after intros, as you said, the stress. I usually get an almighty migraine around day three as the stress relaxes as we get used to each other. and the bbs got very sick only 24 hours after her disrupted intros last year, had to call an ambulance out, scary (asthma attack).
as for words you don't want repeated then ignore. for a child this young to be repeating them he will have been hearing them regularly (and one persons blaspheming is anothers every day speech). when he's not hearing them regularly he'll hopefuly stop using them. if you bring it to his attention then he'll likely use it to irritate you! I know my son uses the phrase OMG (the words not the acronym) and it really bugs me, but he watches a lot of 'friends' on tv and has picked it up from there. you could try emphasising what ever phrase you'd prefer him to use, but without pointing out you don't like what he has said. I can remember a reception teacher I worked with when my son was very little, being horrified by a little traveller boy saying he had to go have a sh** (poo) but that was what he heard at home and to him it was normal everyday language and not used to shock, but once he knew it did shock he used it a lot more!
and you prefer, feel free to come to my house for intros coz I don't scrub it to within an inch of its life before intros! I do hoover it and make sure my AS hasn't left the toilets unusable but other than that its left as it normally is! we're all different!. when my fsw visits after I have had a (very rare) cleaning spree she always comments! usually in an 'what have you done different' kind of a way!!
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Post by moo on Nov 6, 2013 19:59:03 GMT
Hey spideress.... So here you are intros!!! Some amazing advice to you so far.... Please don't feel daunted by f/c house I am sure yours is just great & homely incy will just love it.... After all it is where you & dh live!! Exhaustion is soo common during intros.... Emotional anxieties just wear you out.... Try & get loads of rest Ha as if that's easy to do!! As for the swearing I think I would have to tackle that quite quickly.... I do believe in starting as you mean to go on.... As part of a couple I think you need to both be as firm as each other & agree the rules together so that incy cannot play one of you off against the other..... Believe me we all suffer from being shell shocked... I know I did!! Around here " Hungry Horse " restaurants have brilliant soft play areas for children.... They are a real hit with all kids... Pretty safe & very child friendly.... The menus re great... Good adult food particularly & not ott prices.... Guaranteed to be dry indoors!!! Don't beat yourself give yourself time.... It really won't be long before you will just melt when he looks at you.....
Can't wait for the next installments......
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by nomoretears on Nov 6, 2013 20:03:49 GMT
Spideress, so pleased today went better. I was going to suggest packing wellies to get outside tomorrow - my 4 year old FC loves getting out in the rain more than any toy! - but it might not be a good idea if you're poorly. Echinacea is always good for boosting the immune system (I have immune problems and use it when I feel my body needs a bit of a helping hand).
As for the blaspheming, I usually deal with this as loadsofbubs suggests - ignoring it totally. My 4 year old came to me with a mouth like a docker but after a few months living with me had stopped this almost completely. It's always a shock to hear a young child F.ing and blinding though - and these were real F words! Thinking back makes me laugh because she has a bit of a speech impediment, yet the F words were always clear as day!
All the best for tomorrow.
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Post by kstar on Nov 6, 2013 21:46:43 GMT
Starlet had a few issues with inappropriate expressions when she arrived - especially oh my god, which I don't like and I knew wouldn't be popular at her church school!
I tended to just bounce her sentence back with the oh my god replaced with oh my goodness... We now also do the OTT teenager style O...M...G which she loves!
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Post by spideress on Nov 6, 2013 23:01:12 GMT
Thank you everyone, some excellent advice. I did not get chance to go to bed early as we ended up first with Incy's SW phoning me for 30 mins and during that call our SW phoned on my mobile so I had to pass that to hubby, then I needed to phone my dad as it is a special birthday for him today and after/during that was making tea. However, a few hours after I posted I did start to feel a lot better so I think it is just a stress reaction. I remember when I first started to drive and had a hire car I drove the virtual whole length of the country in one go with about 1 toilet stop. I drove for absolutely HOURS and felt completely fine but when we reached our destination I thought I would need to go to hospital as I felt SO ill and it was a similar thing.......its like being hit with the flu completely out of the blue so I expected the way I was feeling earlier was to do with the stress/intensity of concentration more than a virus as such.
For those who have suggested soft play areas...I raised this with the SWs at the start and they said we were not allowed to go to them as they want us to have 1-1 interaction time and felt that soft play just allowed children to run off and pretty much leave their adult behind so that has posed us a big problem of what to do with him for several outdoor hours in an area we are not even familiar with ourselves. I mentioned this to his SW this evening and she decided that maybe "some" soft play were OK but its more the things like Fuzzy Eds and Wacky Warehouse where the children kinda run into a soft caged area and are "away" from their adults so at least it means when he is at our house in intros next week we can take him to two of the local soft play areas which are not Fuzzy Eds or Wacky Warehouse.
I am feeling anxious about tomorrow mainly due to not really knowing where to take him/what toilet facilities there will be etc and also learning about how to get him safely into his car seat! I am super glad Mr Spider is with me and I am not having to do the day on my own.
I am finally off to bed now and will update you all tomorrow evening :-)
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Post by flowerpower on Nov 7, 2013 0:35:25 GMT
Garden centre can be quite good google and find out if you have any good ones near FC. we go to a blooms garden centre by us and it has a cafe, some small animals, fish, reptiles, and Santa grotto has just opened mine love walking round the flowers as well take care x
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Post by moo on Nov 7, 2013 7:32:15 GMT
Thinking of you to-day spideress.... As lob's says it is great you are feeling this way coz you really are challenging & feeling your way....
I think a lot of your anxiety is coz you want this so very much & want to be as perfect as you can be for incy..... Hey the real you is just fine.... Thats the perfect mum.... Once your anxiety fades I think he will click in to you.... Kids sadly pick up on the anxious vibes.....
Sad about the s/w opinion of soft play.... I found it brilliant.... The kids love it & find it exciting... I was obviously a shoes off in the thick of it too mum..... I clearly remember us in a ring of roses circle all bouncing together.... Me then on my knees & getting down to each of the boys eye level & bouncing & us all skweeling some more.... We were like this for ages!!! One thing I am positive about is that hour of constant eye contact with each boy was worth weeks of just one on one..... The eyes have it!!! The pure joy & excitement expressed by each was amazing plus they started to bond & hug me so much more..... Eye contact is a brilliant bonding experience.... Baa & skweek also remember that day so well even now 5 years on.... They remember bits about intros but they talk so excitedly about the bouncy Mummeee in the balls & trampette... ( prolly helped by the fact they had never been to one before :- not that I knew that then! )
Have a good day.... Can't wait to read your update later.....
Xxx. moo. Xx
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Post by oysterbabe on Nov 7, 2013 7:54:33 GMT
Have fun today whatever the weather and look after yourself too! Your intros sound a lot like mine in the responses by incy to mr spider, although my boys had no speech and were devils! The FC didn't like me and sniped to the sw behind my back all the time. I was totally overwhelmed and shell shocked as were the boys!
Wellies on and splashing in puddles always was a hit with mine and feeding duck ducks!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2013 9:02:02 GMT
Buy him some waterproofs. You can get dungaree type ones that come with a jacket too. That and wellies and you are all set for splashing around in the puddles and rain. As long as he stays dry he'll love it!
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Post by spideress on Nov 7, 2013 22:57:31 GMT
Day 3 - The first time we had him in our care unsupervised and took him out of the FC house. The sky was blue with not a cloud in place even though it was very cold and we were so pleased the weather had given us a break and allowed us to go to the park for our very first time out together. We got Incy into his new car seat and then listened to his constant chorus of "are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?." Unfortunately the SatNav let us down, the post code not able to find the park at all so we aimed for a private housing area with the same name as the park we were aiming for and ended up at a set of bungalows. After knocking on a few doors I finally got an answer from a lovely elderly man who told me that I was indeed close to the park and he gave me the extra directions. We parked up and the moment I turned the engine off the rain drops started falling! Incy had wellies and a coat with a hood and I had a big umbrella in the car so we decided to carry on with the visit anyway. I DEFINITELY need to get 2 or 3 stone off as trying to keep up with him running around the playground was really tiring! All the slides were wet so he decided to ask Mr Spider to go down first (the idea would be for Incy to be on his knee) in order to "dry" the slide a bit! Mr Spider has a medical condition which gives him mobility issues but to his extreme credit he did his absolute best today and managed to climb on things, slide down things and even swing in some kind of giant cup that I would expect to see in a large ape enclosure! I did quite a bit of climbing and swinging myself too and then did one of those things that you would only ever do for the sake of a child.....in the cold and the wet my trainers and socks came off as Incy had asked for his wellies and socks to be taken off so that we could walk in the "sand" part of the park. That area had a wooden boat type structure, a slide and two digger things which bigger children can sit on and dig the sand. Incy managed to sit on them and move the digger head a bit but he is a bit too little let to manage it properly. After about 1 hour in the park we went to see what was supposed to be the animal section only to find a note from the council saying that it had all be closed down due to funding cuts plus even the toilets were closed! I had to distract Incy for a little while whilst Mr Spider found a place to make himself some alternative toilet arrangements and I just had to cross my legs for the next 2 hours! We did manage to find a FEW animals they were waiting to re-house so saw two rabbits and a few guinea pigs, two goats and three peacocks. I thought the peacock was a model until Incy and Mr Spider got closer to it and it started to run away! Incy duly followed which meant Mr Spider (followed by me) climbing up a slippy muddy hill. There were two more peacocks at the top though and it gave me chance to explain to Incy that some animals need you to be very quiet around them and walk up to them very slowly (he was trying to feed a leaf to a peacock). There was a professional photographer up there trying to take pics of the peacocks and Incy kept spoiling his shot by moving the peacocks around hence me holding Incy back a bit to give the guy a chance. Incy thought the guy was a farmer taking pictures. A period of time which looked like something out of a cartoon with Elmer Fudd hunting Bugs Bunny ensued...I could almost hear Incy saying "sssssh I'm hunting Peacocks" - we were all even doing the exaggerated tip-toe Elmer does when trying to sneak up on something :-)
Once we had manged to gently persuade/drag ;-)Incy away from the Peacocks we were lucky to just get into a place in the park before it closed where you could "plant a seed" and a nice lady helped him plant one that he could take home (ie back to FC) with him. Since everything else was closed we had about 30 mins left so allowed him back on the park. It was REALLY difficult getting him to leave with the OK 1 more go on that slide and then 1 more go on the other one then we need to get back starting to wear thin. Eventually I had to be rather stronger in my discipline and crouched down and pulled him to me saying "it is time to go, good boys get to come back here to play but naughty boys do not" this ended up in our first experience of his whining of not liking the park, not liking us, not liking his FC, not wanting this, not wanting that etc with a few tears and statements of wanting to go back to school". It is to be expected that the "processing" of his loss of school was going to come a few days after actually leaving and so no surprise to me that it is part of what is bubbling under his surface. I told him that he would soon be going to school again once he had moved to our house etc but that is was now time to leave the park as FC was ready to give him his tea. A further chorus ensued as I started to lead him out of the park of general moaning and not likes etc to which I tried to lighten the mood with "oh, I think you do, I think you are just joking me" (he often uses the phrase "just joking you" and then moved onto "distraction" of "oh look there is a train track there, I think a little train must run in the summer time". He asked to jump in a puddle as we were walking past it and we allowed that since he was already pretty much wet through from the park anyway but then there was an extra set of puddles which I should not really have let him go to really but I am still trying to balance the "firm parenting/discipline" with him allowing to have some measure of control at present. It turned out that puddle was very deep though so we left it alone and finally got back to the car. We were going to be 20 mins late getting him back so I texted the FC to let her know.
Today has been a day full of "mummy" and poor Mr Spider was getting left out and point blank rejected which is something I would not tolerate. It is true that Mr Spider cannot get Incy on and off things quite as well as mummy can (due to his mobility issues) but not true that he is incapable of such things and so I was repeatedly "being firm" with Incy throughout the day saying to him "no, it is Mr Spider's turn now, he needs to learn how to take care of you too" - on the whole Incy accepted me putting Mr Spider there instead of me.
I was concerned Mr Spider was being left out and I could see he was not being his usual self but once we left the FC I found out why. The poor man had the most awful migraine and he had been fighting through the whole session trying to be OK. Once I got him home it was a quick something to eat, migraine pills, a small cup of tea and then off to bed for both of us. I had an hour or so dozing whilst I tried to get him sleeping properly and then got up to do the things I need to do. Having said that I still felt REALLY nauseous again myself and that has not worn off at all. Again, I expect it is the pressure/stress/emotion of the day.
Since Mr Spider is so unwell we have not been able to plan strategy for tomorrow but if it is nice then we will go to a different park but if not then a garden center may be the next best option. If Incy is all "mummy mummy mummy" again I will do as Mr Spider did for me on day 2 and take a step back and push Mr Spider forward or make sure Mr Spider is included so it is as much three way as possible. We have already had Incy trying to become the number 1 to me...I can't quite remember what it was, maybe Mr Spider kissed me or said he loved me or something like that and Incy said "don't you say that to my mummy" to which I replied to Incy "no, mummy and daddy love each other very much and it is very important that daddy says that to me"
We also had a chat in the car on the way back with Incy regarding names as he repeatedly pretends he does not know Mr Spider or my first name. My response to him is that our names are mummy and daddy and it is very special and very different because all the other names he knows of people who take care of him like his FC (they use first names) and xyz his SW etc are all people who care about him very much but it is their job to look after him whereas mummy and daddy are different. Mummy and daddy look after him because we love him (not that I can say I actually FEEL love yet but I am taking Daisy's advice of fake it until I make it). I could see from his face he had "registered" that information.
So all in all a very good day and we are up and out very early again to see him tomorrow morning.
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Post by moo on Nov 8, 2013 3:32:18 GMT
Great tale of your day spideress....
Wow you were so busy..... So brave to carry on regardless in the rain....
Really had a good giggle imagining hill, mud, farmer photographer & escaping peacocks!!! Really exciting... I'm a hunting peacocks!!
Sounds like you are settling together well.... Just loving your updates....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by spideress on Nov 8, 2013 7:00:08 GMT
Thank you for being patient enough to read it all through Moo, was a long account but we seemed to do an awful lot in just a few hours yesterday. I was up until 3am sorting out the photos and bits of video I took of him and now up before 7am to get ready to go to him this morning as we are afraid the rush hour traffic might thwart us so we are leaving an extra hour earlier than we need to plus we want to nip into a shop to buy bread (we are hoping for a different park trip today to feed ducks) so I have a feeling I will be going straight back to bed for a while when we get back in this afternoon
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Post by moo on Nov 8, 2013 7:09:14 GMT
You sound so happy.... Glad you have lots of photos.... That is the one thing I have so few of..... Coz there is only one of me I had no one to snap away like mad.... Sooo jealous of your photos well done you......
BUT..... Spideress you MUST get sleep..... It is sooo tiring doing intros.... Rest up please..... Make sure you are taking your echinacea.... Stop you getting run down & catch a sniffle....
Have fun with the ducks... Little boys love feeding ducks..... Make sure he doesn't get too excited mine nearly went in after the ducks!!!!
Looking forward to tonight's instalment........
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by nomoretears on Nov 8, 2013 8:23:41 GMT
Hi Spideress, sounds like such a lovely day!
Re the leaving thing, I try and leave a "treat" of some kind in the car when I know we're going to places I know we'll have feet dragging about leaving. You'll be surprised how quickly a mention of XX (insert biscuit, drink, banana etc here) gets those feet running to the car!
Hope you and Mr Spider both pick up soon.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2013 8:59:14 GMT
Wow what am amazing account of your first day out Spideress! (like to see you do that on the bubble site) 5 stars to you for making sure Incy had to share both you and DH. That is so important to take turns, so that Incy doesn't favour one of you over the other and it can become a control thing. A lot of adopted kids can do splitting between parents so you are mist definately on the right track there. Well done! Poor DH though, a migraine must be hell when you are trying to be positive and fun round a 4 year old, perhaps he should keep some migraine tablets in the glove compartment of the car just in case. I love NMT's suggestion of a treat back at the car to get Incy to leave - Genius! No more 3am late nights or you won't make it to the end of intro's in one piece. seriously, you will just become exhausted. Looking forward to hearing about day 4.
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