School just don't get it

Thanks guys

Mudlark, this year's class teacher is difficult for parents to relate to - she visibly tenses up - so talking to her is always difficult, as she is defensive and can't wait for it to be over. (But I think she's a good and imaginative teacher). She's there at drop off and pick up, but surrounded by other children and so difficult to talk to. I think the year 2 teacher will be more approachable.

I do talk regularly to the SENCO, but it's hard to have a meaningful conversation with someone who listens carefully and seemingly understands but says 'but he's fine in school' or 'we don't see any of that behaviour'. On this specific incident, I can imagine she'd say 'Monkey Boy told a teacher, which is what he should do. We applied a cold compress and dealt with the other child. Monkey Boy went back to playing with other children and was fine in lessons later. There was nothing that we needed to discuss and we have a policy of not naming the child that has got into an altercation with your child.'

I have asked them to have a quiet space for MB. He had to be supervised to access it, so had to show a laminated card to an adult. I think it was too complicated and/or made him feel different (something that he's acutely aware of!)

Thrive- oh don't get me started!!!! When we went to visit the school to talk to the Head, Reception class teacher and SENCO before Monkey Boy started school, I took a THRIVE leaflet with me. Since then I've tried various ways of trying to get the school to adopt Thrive or get school to access a practitioner for MB. Nothing.

Nurture groups - they don't like to single children out, so they do whole class exercises. Not sure if they are being straight here. It might be a resource issue (they are a small poorly resourced school).

They have got close to persuading me that I'm making a fuss. But then our new DDP therapist asked us about how much one-to-one Monkey Boy had in school. She was surprised it was none and that he didn't have an EHCP. The senior clinical child psych at CAHMS said the same during her assessment if MB 18 months ago.

And then school refused to meet with me to update his School Based Plan for next term, and I thought 'No. This is b@ll@cks!'.

I'm meeting the professions first - this coming week - then will arrange a meeting with the school - with a considered plan.

Advice for the meeting? (The child psych is suggesting Touch Base - a Louise Bomber led intervention. I was previously pushing for Thrive. DH is thinking we need to move MB to another school which already has Thrive (oh but the loss, transitions, abandonment, stress for MB - and in many ways it's a lovely little community based school, with a friendly feel and an energetic and hard working staff - and another school may be worse not better!!!)

sorry this his post is so long. Talking to you guys helps me get my thoughts straight!