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Post by ladybug on Mar 26, 2014 7:48:40 GMT
It is disappointing JMK but as Moo and Chotimonkey said at least we can tell LO that there extra time was given.
Ladybug x x
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Post by kizim on Mar 26, 2014 9:49:35 GMT
İ had a similar situation with Enigma. Her bmum had disappeared and they needed to prove that bmum knew her daughter was being adopted so that she could not come back and claim otherwise in later years...BUT Enigma was placed with me while the search was carried out. İt just meant that İ had to wait AAAAges before İ could get the AO. Whilst typing this İ just remembered having a failed AO attempt because the judge found SW's had not searched thoroughly enough and our planned Adoption Day ended up in tears...3 months later we were back in Court and it went through - didn't have any special event planned that time.
Can you ask if she could be placed with you on the same basis? İronically bmum was hiding in plain sight. She was still claiming Child benefit for Enigma and her sibling and collecting it every 2 weeks from the local PO...the adoptive parent of the sibling tracked her down!
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Post by ladybug on Mar 26, 2014 16:11:01 GMT
Kizim, we are still waiting for a selection visit. LOs SW is a complete nightmare to get hold of, apparently hardly ever in the office and doesn't reply to her emails!
We had an email today from our SW who said that LO's SW is talking about a selection visit towards the end of April!! I'm guessing this is because they'll have a better idea of when the PO is likely to be granted! Our SW on the other hand is pushing for it to be earlier than end of April. Now I'm wondering though after the selection visit if she will then keep us holding on to find out if they think we are the best match.
I seem to go from worrying about one thing to another and it never seems to stop.
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Post by moo on Mar 26, 2014 20:34:49 GMT
Aww hugs for you ladybug.... Tricky s/w who never seem to be available is just the worst thing ever.... Try & hang in....
Your s/w seems to be on the case..... Hopefully she will get a response..... Fingers crossed for you.....
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by ladybug on Mar 26, 2014 20:42:51 GMT
Thanks Moo.
Our SW said she will try to contact LO's SW to get some dates, not holding my breath here.
Hopefully after all this it will come to fruition and we'll have our LO by the summer.
I feel a bit sad as it is LO's first birthday on Friday and she doesn't have her mummy and daddy to buy her presents.
X x x
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Post by chotimonkey on Mar 26, 2014 22:28:22 GMT
How frustrating for you... Maybe to get some peace of mind about the las selection process you could get your sw to check with Los (v slow!) sw, is she the family finder or lo sw or both?
With ours we knew from the outset that Lo's ff had a huge response to lo cww profile, had short listed 10 families... But we were no1 on their list, so they would see us and if they liked us wouldn't see anyone else... So we felt a little boosted by knowing this...
Maybe if you have an idea of how the land lies it might help
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Post by ladybug on Mar 26, 2014 23:07:20 GMT
Chotimonkey the v slow SW is just LO's SW her ff is another SW and we have been told there is just one other adopter interested but I will ask our SW about the LA selection process.
Thank you for that info.
X x
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Post by moo on Mar 27, 2014 7:04:29 GMT
At least the ff is contactable that is something..... In my experience the ff holds almost all the decision making powers..... So this sounds good for you esp as your s/w has contact with her....
Good Luck I hope you get news soon.......
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by esty (archive) on Mar 27, 2014 14:41:49 GMT
'Nothing that is meant for you passes you by.'
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Post by twoplustwo on Mar 28, 2014 9:35:37 GMT
Keep strong ladybug - if this is YOUR child then it will still happen.
I know how difficult this time must be for you. My adoption of Stig was delayed because his BM challenged the adoption. At the time it was just awful - the waiting and wondering. It seemed to take an eternity but it passed and all went well in the end.
He's been mine for over 10 years now.
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Post by ladybug on Mar 28, 2014 16:53:38 GMT
Looks like we might be moving forwards slowly.
Our SW is meeting with LO's SW next Wednesday and will then find out the info on her case and will then get some dates for our selection visit and we are meeting again with our SW on 15th April!!
So relieved there is finally some movement and on LO's first birthday too, could it be a good omen? I know if she is meant to be ours she will be.
Wishing you all a fab weekend x x
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Post by moo on Mar 28, 2014 17:33:22 GMT
Great some news.... Now that's a step in the right direction....
Maybe it will help you 'switch off ' for a while..... I sooo remember finding it hard to get a grip & do normal stuff without constantly wondering what was gonna happen next!!!
Try n' chill for the weekend..... Everything still crossed this side of the screen ( makes typing even trickier!!)
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by knight on Mar 28, 2014 21:28:28 GMT
That does sound more promising, everything crossed as well. x
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Post by ladybug on Mar 29, 2014 7:48:51 GMT
Thanks Moo, that made me laugh! Thanks Knight. I will have a relaxing weekend after work today! X x x
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Post by ladybug on Apr 3, 2014 11:23:55 GMT
Well our SW met with lo's SW yesterday but haven't heard anything yet. Am I being too impatient?
I do want to email her but don't want to seem over eager but equally don't want to seem like I'm not bothered!
May email tomorrow if haven't heard anything by the end of today!!
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Post by ladybug on Apr 3, 2014 21:47:23 GMT
We did get an email this afternoon but unfortunately not good news!
The search for our child/ren starts again.
Feeling rather upset and deflated at the moment :-(
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2014 8:14:26 GMT
Oh Ladybug I am so sorry to read this. Hugs xx
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Post by twoplustwo on Apr 4, 2014 8:48:21 GMT
Aw that's upsetting. Sending cyberhugs to you Ladybug.
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Post by moo on Apr 4, 2014 16:10:11 GMT
Oh no"...
So so sad ladybug....
It is so so tuff being an adopter in waiting.... Big hugs for you {{{}}}
Hang in your l/o really is waiting for you to find them..... {{}}
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by ladybug on Apr 4, 2014 21:09:04 GMT
Thank you everyone! Your support is very welcome. Today had been a tough day, my friends at work have been great but hugging me has just made me cry :-( I know our LO/S are somewhere waiting for us.
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Post by knight on Apr 4, 2014 21:37:51 GMT
Ahh, Ladybug, how disappointing (understatement): I expect it will be harder this time to start family finding having emotionally started to connect with this LO. Just give yourself a bit of time. As others have said, your LO is out there waiting to join your family, hugs to you all x
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Post by esty (archive) on Apr 5, 2014 7:42:08 GMT
You are obviously meant for another LO. It is very sad and a another loss as you will have imagined your future life with this LO. I was very keen on one LO and got close then it never happened. My LO now would never have been adopted if I hadn't chanced along. So for him it was meant to be and he is perfect for our family.
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Post by ladybug on Apr 10, 2014 6:46:19 GMT
Our SW is currently looking for children for us within the consortium and is in the process of putting us on the national adoption register. We've just done a draft profile for the register at the moment and there was me thinking all the homework was done! I am so impatient but realise how important it is not to just choose the first child(ren) that are offered for everyone's sakes. We have also made an enquiry re a pink and blue sibling group on CWW.
X x x
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Post by leo on Apr 11, 2014 20:31:34 GMT
Sorry to hear your potential link has not worked out. It is a kind of grieving process when this happens and it can be hard to stop your mind from wanting to compare any other potential links.
Take this time to reflect on what it was about the original profile that made you want to go ahead and whether any of your boundaries have changed in regard to the types of child you feel you could parent. Your child will be with you soon - and no matter how hard it is now, it will be worth the wait!
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Post by ladybug on Apr 11, 2014 21:11:40 GMT
Thank you Leo, I will take this time to think and reflect.
X x x
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