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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 6, 2013 22:41:34 GMT
Not sure I'll have the time to do a full diary but will try and post a little.
We are doing intros for the second time so quite a different experience as trying to juggle the needs of all LOs.... Only few days in and already feeling exhausted!
First day was magical! Just DH and myself went to meet new LO. LO quite wary at first but creeping nearer once we started chatting to the FC and attention was off her! Soon playing happily and insisting Daddy played peek-a-boo like in the DVD! Giving us half-chewed sweets and FC able to leave the room. Played for about an hour and okay with me changing her. When we left quite annoyed we were leaving and said no when FC asked if she wanted to give her a kiss! Just blew her one and heading out door when 'kisssss' shouted after us and had to go back and give her a kiss!
Next day again playing for an hour or so, FC just left us to it. Lots more peek-a-boo and playing, LO jumping from one thing to next constantly and getting very excited so quite random!
Today LO met our other two for first time. Was so nervous about this! Generally went okay, LO not wanting them to touch her toys and our two not wanting her to touch what they'd got so think we've rather a lot of work to do on sharing!! (LO not really used to other kids as only child in placement and not at nursery). Think they were all quite intrigued by each other though and some cute moments when three of them sitting on LOs bed all giggling away and when LO was wanting them to hide where she'd tell them and then 'finding' them!
Quite tired and emotional peeps tonight here after we left new LO. Both upset easily over trivia and wanting me to feed them/get them in PJs so signs that feeling rather wobbly. Still quite intrigued by little sister and able to laugh at some of her antics though!
All going out tomorrow so will see how that goes.
Nightx
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Post by moo on Dec 7, 2013 7:11:33 GMT
Oh wow oogles... A baby girl for you....
I like Toko am quite jealous so we must all be mad!!
Think mine would struggle with the sharing.... Good luck with that such a tricky one....
Do keep us up to speed...
Can't wait to read more especially the diff between parenting girls to boys!!!
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2013 16:49:58 GMT
Ooooh congrats Oogles, lovely to hear you've met your DD.
Looking forward to hearing all about her.
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 7, 2013 19:09:35 GMT
Today trip out with 3 LOs. Went to park, brrr! LOs all enjoyed themselves tho got quite wet. FC came for a bit then left, LO okay with that (too okay with it?? Trying not to overanalyse everything but hard!) Then went to cafe and realised that DH had left wallet at home and I only had card (which cafe didn't accept)...we are a pair of Muppets! Managed to rummage around in bags and pockets and find enough coins to get LOs their lunch tho so was okay. LO quite happy to sit in high chair/on my knee scoffing her sandwich. Multiple toilet trips and changing LO then back to FCs. 3 LO dancing in backseat along to LOs favourite CD that the FC gave us!
At FC fair bit of squabbling over toys again, all LOs quite tired, in retrospect may have been better to just drop LO off and make a hasty exit while the going was good...
LO unfortunately saw her bike in the back of our car (as taking some stuff back tomorrow) which I think might have made her think older LOs are after her toys.... Should have really covered it up with something, didn't think...
Tomorrow I'm going across for wake up routine then travelling home and intros switch to ours from tomorrow evening.
Generally going well, very tired and think all LOs are, lot for them to process....
As I say hard not to overanalyse everything, LO seems pretty happy to come with us and us do stuff for her, quite different from how other two were at this point in their intros....
So looking forward to intros moving to ours, will be much better for older 2 as well.
Right, 2 LO in bed so off to phone for Chinese takeaway !
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 8, 2013 20:40:51 GMT
This morning was fine, got LO up and morning routine, all chirpy till it came to breakfast and then refusing to eat. Think too much excitement and wanting to play plus a bit of wanting to push the boundaries!
Lovely to have LO here this afternoon and all three LOs sitting at the table together eating their snack! Played pretty well together on the whole (perhaps helped by fact older two are on own territory plus had put anything they didn't want LO to touch away in a cupboard before she came). LO loved her room and clocked that her stuff was in the wardrobe but wasn't distressed by this. Was here for a couple of hours, FC left after about half an hour. Older two are finding it a bit hard, lot of reactions about trivial things plus clingy to me when LO is here, also not making any concessions when taking turns etc. Mixed up with excitement and pride too tho.
LO felt cold so I popped one of their cardys on her and eldest said with amazement 'she looks like one of US now'!
Eldest fell and was over reacting and wailing loudly, LO quite caring, coming over and patting her and giving her a toy.
Think generally going well, juggling needs of LO and older two tough but definitely a lot more laid back about intros this time round!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2013 10:37:24 GMT
LO felt cold so I popped one of their cardys on her and eldest said with amazement 'she looks like one of US now'! Awh that's lovely your older child claiming LO.  How old is LO? |
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 9, 2013 10:58:43 GMT
New LO is 2.
She is quite happy to hang about with us all but don't think she has a clue really what's going on....
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Post by moo on Dec 9, 2013 12:08:50 GMT
Ahh bless oogles....
it all sounds great & very ' real '..... Everyone seems to be getting on with it.... Such a good sign..... As is the wonderful comment about the caridi!!..... Lovin' it....
Keep it coming....
Time now to relax a bit more & easy cups of tea on the sofa!!!!
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 9, 2013 22:31:33 GMT
Good day today. FC dropped LO off after lunch and just me in house which is more like normal when oldest two at school.
FC bought a bag of LOs bedding which LO wanted to take up to her room and lay out in her bed with some of her toys almost as soon as she arrived! Was surprised she was okay with that...
She had a test out of her bed and a little bounce before playing with some toys. She was looking for oldest two and Daddy and pleased when they all came in.
They all had snack and played together for a bit, well more alongside each other. Few squabbles but nothing too bad. Eldest was having a strop as really wanted to play with one of LOs new toys and I was saying no, that LO was playing with it when LO came across and gave it. Probably was thinking anything for a quiet life (!) but kind anyhow!
Then put a DVD on, older two pretty zonked out in front of it (they are so tired as near end of term and lots going on at School plus intros). LO not interested in watching and oldest 2 complaining that LO too noisy (taste of their own medicine I think!) so LO and Daddy went off to play while I got tea ready. LO loving rough and tumble play and slapstick dancing so giggling away playing with Daddy. Then tea, LO ate a bit, not a lot but I think too interested in watching us and oldest two eat as we were all eating together. (LO eats by herself at FC just because of timings/space so all a bit of a novelty for her!)
Then Daddy took LO back to where FC are staying while I got other two to bed. They are struggling a bit but I think will be okay when things settle down to our new normal! DH is off/working from home till new year pretty much with the odd meeting which makes things much easier.
Looking at photos of the three of them today and there is something very right about it.
Pretty full day tomorrow so heading off to bed myself, very ready for zzzzzzzx!
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Post by greyspeckledhen on Dec 9, 2013 23:05:00 GMT
Really good to read your intro updates. all the best for tomorrow.xx
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2013 8:21:58 GMT
Wow she sounds amazing Oogle. Seems to fit right in doesn't she? What a lot going on for your older two, all the Christmas stuff and a new sister too. Expect you'll have an interesting time over the next few weeks, but nice in one way, that they will have lots of time with LO, to get to know her. Enjoy  |
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 10, 2013 9:20:42 GMT
Totally agree JMK, placement this near Christmas is certainly not ideal or the original plan, but it is where we've ended up.
Older two adore Christmas and all that comes with it, so quite a juggle trying to keep things relatively low key for LO.
Have all next week with them at school so should be relatively peaceful for LO (and older two love school so some consistency for them and peace from LO!), then all three at home for two weeks, which as you say gives us time to get to know each other plus break from rushing around to get them out the door on time in the morning.
Am expecting some 'interesting' times tho and certainly not a fairytale Christmas (tho that would be nice!!)
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Post by moo on Dec 10, 2013 20:18:26 GMT
WoW things sound so great oogles....
She is settling so well lucky you.... Your eldest two seem to cope fantastically.... You mst be sooo pleased well done all....
Please keep posting it is such a joy to read.... Thanx....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 11, 2013 9:17:56 GMT
LO picked up in the morning, all full of smiles! FC are lovely and working hard to make this work.
Back to ours and morning playing with LO. Able to get out in the garden for a bit which was fun.
Seems quite at home, not shy about telling us what she wants to do (!). Didn't eat any of her lunch but plenty of Daddys! Had made them separate things on purpose to see what we could get her to eat. Then nap time, slight cry when she thought we were going to leave her but then DH sat in her room for five minutes and she just lay quietly for a bit looking about and didn't protest when he slipped out. Was off to sleep after that as was I!!
Then hard work when older two came home from school! LO wanting them to play with her, (but not touch any toys!) and them really tired and just wanting babying themselves. Managed to muddle through till tea which went down well then took LO back to FC for bath. Helped with bath there and saw LO have a meltdown. Think overtired, mixed up and me getting her out her bath was the last straw. Not really comforted by me at all so got FC in but took ages to settle (and I think just wore herself out). Having said that, five minutes after meltdown finished was back to playing hide and seek and all chirpy leaving FC and me wrung out! Very glad I have seen her like that before she moves in. Home then to oldest two who DH had put to bed but still awake. Bit of an unsettled night for them, are finding it tough. Were keen to go off to school this morning as wondered about keeping them off so really hope they have a good day...
Feeling bit wrung out this morning, hoping for a peaceful day!
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 12, 2013 14:17:18 GMT
Hi oogleschnook Sounds like all children are doing really well. It's all so strange for them. We have just brought our 3rd child home and are nearly a month in... Our elder two became much more settled when intros finished and we were home in our normal routine which I think helped curious george settle too. Sounds like you are doing really well and being really mindful of them all... Tricky time to do intros, but you sound like you are doing well and maybe christmas and the build up will be a nice distraction for the older two Keep posting, love reading about your progress |
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 12, 2013 23:06:23 GMT
Thanks Chotimonkey,am really hoping things will settle down once intros are over and as you say we can get back to more normal routine.
Good day with LO, again picked up in morning, home and played in the garden for a bit. Have been blessed with some dry days and LO loving playing in Wendy House in the garden and being 'chased' and hiding in the house.
Thought we'd try a trip to supermarket today so LO doesn't think we only ever go out to where the FC are staying! Went well, felt a bit like I was playing a part pushing LO around, guess it will start to feel more normal soon. LO asking for everything she saw in supermarket. She has been somewhat ruined by lovely foster family, we are trying to keep everything the same for now so not too much of a shock to her system!!
Some good moments when older two in from school, middle LO has been very sweet with her, patiently playing throw and catch and joining in with what LO wants to play. Oldest struggling more, doesn't seem to get that LO is only two and expecting her to understand her complex explanations of she can touch x but not y!! Of course LO agrees but has no idea what eldest is talking about and then eldest very aggrieved when LO touches Y! Eldest tried to bite LO when she pulled a toy off her, fortunately DH managed to whisk LO off before she did and LO not aware. Eldest then burst into tears and very upset and ashamed, took a lot of settling down.
Tea went off fine with LO wanting more chips.
LO had bath here for first time, not sure initially and just standing there but soon sat down and started playing and didn't want to get out! Older two 'helping' so bubbles everywhere!
Then DH dropped LO back while I bathed older two. Took FCs present and thank you card. They sent a card and lovely message saying that they have loved meeting us and older two and couldn't be happier about where LO is going and know she will be very loved and well looked after....made me cry and starting me off again typing this. It has been lovely to meet them and see how much they have loved and cared for LO.
Tomorrow LO is home with us for good!
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Post by vickyvixen on Dec 14, 2013 22:19:36 GMT
Hi, I've really enjoyed reading this - thanks for sharing. I hope things continue to go well for you. :-)
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Post by moo on Dec 15, 2013 6:53:33 GMT
Ooh oogles my replies seem to have vanished!! Odd! 
You all sound so settled & happy it is such a joy to read....
Love the idea of everyone getting down to the sharing of toys ( grudgingly!! )... & testing each other out of course...
Wow isn't it easier once settled into your own home!! She is just gonna love settling in.... She clearly is really taking to her sisters..... Your routines sound great just what she will thrive on... Is there a fave toy yet??
Please keep posting it is brill hearing all about your happy successes.....
Tomorrow is the rest day of the rest of your lives.... Yay can't wait for your updates.....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 15, 2013 7:38:30 GMT
I can see your replies Moo, thank you.
Well what a whirlwind of a couple of days! LO has settled well so far and slept great for two nights, a pleasant surprise as she is not usually a good sleeper, think she is just so exhausted by it all.
Older two struggling a lot, felt like I spent most of yesterday telling them off...
Very territorial and overreacting to things and not making any concessions that she is two...
Know why they are behaving like this but doesn't make it any easier to deal with....
Well today is another day. DH and I have decided that we will treat them all as if they are two today (!) so will see how that goes!
Some glimmers of light tho, watching them decorate the Christmas tree together was sweet.
Thanks for all your thoughts and best wishes, so so tired but very happy to finally be at this point and Mum of 3!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2013 9:07:30 GMT
Hi Oogles, Sorry I've missed a few days of your intro's, (a lot going on in my house). Sounds like you are doing so well. Love you saying you are going to treat all 3 as if they are two years old. Great idea!  Make sure YOU are getting some rest though, you sound worn out, even if that means going round your mum/friends house for a few hours kip.  |
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Post by moo on Dec 16, 2013 6:11:31 GMT
I too love your thinking... Treating them all as Ticklish Two Year Olds.... That really will work a treat... Fab thinking....
Great picture of sisters decorating the tree this side of the screen.... Magical...
Please be kind to you this is stuffing sapping stuff.... Jmk tip is a good 'un a few well deserved ZZ's will help loads...
Mummy of three at last.... Woweee!!
Happy Christmas....
Xx. moo. X
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 16, 2013 13:37:13 GMT
Hi oogleschnook
Just wanted to say that it does get easier...
We have two dd and have just brought ds home
For the first week dd1 was off the scale furious, v lovely to ds but tantrumming about Everything that might have any separation connotation (getting dressed/ putting Coat on/ leaving places etc) and then has calmed down a lot
Then weeks 2-3 lo2 went postal and started grabbing/ snatching/ pushing/ hitting with anything to do with possessions and needed a tonne of gentle redirection/ heading off before it happened/ talking down/ using timer for turns
(Also in weeks 2-3 everyone got ill and no-one slept)
It was pretty tough... Now we are 4-5 weeks in and dh is back at work, everyone is well, we are back in our normal routine and things are so much calmer....
There are still wobbles at different times... They tend to be when something is done differently to how it's Been done in the past (eg dh bathing dd instead of me) v little things that they normally wouldn't bat an eyelid at, but because they are feeling sensitive and unsettled throws them off a bit.
It's also started dd1 (3) really processing her own adoption so she is checking about her permanent status a lot.
It is hard at the beginning, but I promise you once you get your rhythm going and you all know where you stand it does get easier
Like the others have said do make sure you get some time out.... I've been to my dance classes weekly and dh to footie... You really need it... And sleep whenever you can
You're doing so well
Cm xxx x
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 16, 2013 19:19:38 GMT
Thanks guys, appreciate your messages as bit hard going at the moment!
Am trying to nap when LO does on school days and bed early but still feeling drained, think it's emotionally exhausting more than anything!
Very relieved to hear things settled down for you Chotimonkey, I really needed to hear that today!
Tantrumming from older two (oldest in particular) has stepped up a gear and really needing two of us there when all three are to try and manage it.
On the plus side LO has settled very well, eating and sleeping well and generally cheerful! Can currently hear her lying in her cot singing away to herself happily!
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 18, 2013 14:06:08 GMT
Hi oogleschnook Glad it helped... A month ago at the beginning of placement I wasn't convinced it was possible to look after all three on my own while dh was back at work... Now we are pretty chilled, I've tAken them all out and about on my own and we are mostly enjoying each other (with the odd challenge thrown in of course) and it feels like we have been together forever. Oldest dd reacted most strongly first, she's pretty much settled now, dd2 took longer to click that this was a permanent change(. She's only just turned two) and went next and is still settling but is mostly back to how she was before And little baby has been very good... In a weird way things got easier when dh went back to work because that's normal for dds and it seemed to settle them, and they went back to lose themselves in play and exploration rather than competing for the 'spare adults' attention I kept in my head something we'd done on the prep group where they said bringing home a new baby/ child felt like your partner saying "darling I love you so much and you are so wonderful that I think I'll get another wife" makes me more sympathetic to my dds when they are struggling |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 18:43:59 GMT
Reading your post Choti reminds me of my sister. She had her first son and wanted just one more child. When he was about 5, sister gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and she was preparing her DS for having a brother and a sister as she knew from early on that she was having one of each. Twins came home amid lots of excitement and interest as twins tend to generate and after about two weeks, when the novelty wore off her DS asked, "when are they going back?". In all her preparation she had forgotten to mention that the new brother and sister would be living with them forever, that's the hard bit for kids to get their heads round, it's not like a playdate. I'm sure they will all get used to each other soon.
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 19, 2013 13:41:51 GMT
Jmk exactly the same happened with my friends bc, she had done all the playing with dolls and reading books and talking about how to touch a baby, but not the permanence thing and her son packed all the baby stuff he could find, put it by the door and announced that baby wAnted to back to her home now As the oldest sib myself with the same age gap as my kids, it does throw me back to bring horribly put out when my younger siblings kept in arriving! |
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Post by moo on Dec 20, 2013 5:53:31 GMT
Hugs for you oogles....
Three is very tuff well done for managing your eldests' tantrums....
I found two exhausting... Hats off to you three is trickier by a mile Especially at different times!!! ( of placement)
Hope the Christmas madness doesn't create Xtra stresses 
{{}}
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 20, 2013 12:50:38 GMT
I forgot one thing that has helped a lot... We have tinkered
With our schedule a little so that each child haS half an hour special time with me.howler is an early riser and comes for a snuggle and a book/ chat before the others get up. George gets up from his sleep at a slightly different time and has bath time with me and squirrel goes to bed h
Alf an hour later and has special
Quiet time Downstairs.they
All (within reason) are in control of special time a
Nd have my complete undivided attention.... I think having some control in a big change is helping a
Lot.
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Post by oogleschnook on Dec 22, 2013 10:48:42 GMT
Thanks all!
Love to hear your experiences, Chotimonkey and that things did.get easier for your older ones.
Will certainly try to give them all some individual time, should be easier now school has finished. Have drawn up quite a structured plan for each day of the holidays, I think as much to help us feel we don't have hours to fill each day so will see how that goes...
Feeling bit tired and grumpy today, roll on bedtime!!
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