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Post by damson on Nov 27, 2013 10:33:41 GMT
Christmas is supposed to be lovely, right? So how come my blood pressure starts to rise about mid November? Please post the things you've found that really help make it go a lot more smoothly 0:)
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Post by damson on Nov 27, 2013 10:38:54 GMT
When our children first came home, they couldn't trust us that Christmas was really going to happen and they really would have presents. They got more and more manic, driven on by school, church and shops full of decorations. So in early December, DH took us all to Toys R Us, and we went round and round the temple of toy mammon trying lots of things out before buying two immense boxed up things. These were put away safely 'for Santa to collect and deliver at Christmas'. It worked a treat on a 5 and 7 year old, who calmed down and began to enjoy themselves. DH and I breathed out and had a large glass of coping juice. Funny thing is, I can't even remember what was in the boxes...
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mamab
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Post by mamab on Nov 27, 2013 11:02:01 GMT
We don't have family (apart from my Mum who traditionally spends Boxing Day with us) and don't see friends over the 3 day Christmas holiday so it is just us which helps a lot. Other things which have helped are that opening presents is spread out over the 3 days - tree presents on Christmas eve (stuff like new PJs slippers electric toothbrushes DVDs), Santa's presents (i.e. mine)on Christmas Day and everyone elses on Boxing Day. We do exactly the same thing at the same time each year eg walk on the beach between 1 and 3 on Christmas Day, watch the Snowman on Christmas eve, I take the children breakfast in bed on Boxing Day morning etc. The biggest thing for me is that we have our traditional turkey Christmas meal on Christmas Eve at dinner time with small table presents and crackers followed by sparklers in the garden and the Snowman DVD. This not only gives a focus to Christmas eve, it also takes all the stress out of Christmas Day for me as we basically have the equivalent of a Boxing Day buffet on Christmas Day instead of a cooked meal. I can therefore focus totally on being with the children and enjoying the day. We can stay out walking on the beach as long as we like without having to rush home for the turkey and I am not constantly disappearing to do things in the kitchen. I am going to start decorating the house today which together with writing this is making me feel a bit more Christmassy. 4 weeks today! Or 28 sleeps as it says on the blackboard in the playroom!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2013 11:22:26 GMT
Less is more I think.
For newly adopted kids the temptation to make up for any past Christmasses by the adopters, can mean that they go overboard and over compensate which can overwhelm some kids who aren't used to getting so much all at once, so the less is more, approach works well, IMO, especially for newly placed children. Then parents aren't at risk of being "kind of dissapointed" when their child doesn't re-act in the way they expected with the level of excitement perhaps the parents were anticipating.
Spreading presents across a few days, as mamab suggested, is an excellent suggestion.
When I was little we always got Santa presents when we woke up, but didn't do the tree presents until after lunch, that ensured that we didn't get everything all at once and also that we would eat our dinner, as we knew we were getting more presents afterwards. We kids took turns at handing out the tree presents and had to wait while each person opened their present so we could see who gave what to whom, and it wasn't just all done in a frenzy of paper ripping. I did this with my two until they no longer believed in Santa and now we each open a present about every half hour or so throughout the day, just so we can have a look at or play with each one, and it spaces it out a bit throughout the day.
Works well for us, but I appreciate every family has their own traditions.
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Post by chotimonkey on Nov 29, 2013 23:14:58 GMT
For tinies esp we like spreading present opening over several stages... Open and put together stuff, so if they open a toy they want to sit and play with, it's ready to go. We keep presents back for ages as sometime is jan and even feb a surprise new toy at a much bedded moment is brilliant. Some outside time as being in all day esp at someone else's house is hard... For permanence this year we are trying: Book advent calendar where every night at story time we take a wrapped Xmas book of a pile of 24 open it and read it together... They can see the pile and know that it's happening every night Also our own version of elf on the shelf... Not keen on the elf watching you and reporting back to Santa on being good, and think its a bit of a rip off, but we are going to have a friendly elf who reports his fave thing about each child to Santa every day and every day when the children come down he is in a different place doing something different... There's a whole load of Pinterest/ google inspiration of creative elf set ups for the children to find every morning in advent Quiet time traditions, we do a lot of snuggling in blankets and watching the snowman and gruffalos child in the run up, so if we need down time on during Xmas day we can pop ot on and snuggle Um dropping in and out with relatives if appropriate so they see them but don't have to spend all day with them if it's hard We don't go anywhere new... They've been to mine and Dh's mums hundreds of times and have things to do there and are comfortable there If you do go to your parents hopefully you don't have to cook Keeping to normal schedule on terms of food times bed bath naps etc, if food times are way out I have a lotta snacks on hand to keep them going
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purdy
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Post by purdy on Nov 30, 2013 16:05:30 GMT
Tree goes up when they've broken up from school. Every Christmas Day we open a few presents in pjs then shower and dress and go feed ducks at a local park. Good run around and play on park. Then back to play with toys opened and then open a few more. Go to my folks for dinner and eldest always has nuggets & chips, can't manage a Christmas dinner, it works for us! In the build up we have lots of chill out after school, snuggled up under a blanket.
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Post by donatella on Nov 30, 2013 18:15:47 GMT
Red wine, white wine, champagne, prosecco and baileys
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purdy
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Post by purdy on Nov 30, 2013 19:19:38 GMT
Brilliant Donatella!
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Post by jollymummy on Nov 30, 2013 19:35:07 GMT
We used to put the tree up and had to wait for Father Xmas' fairies to put the lights on, then we can decorate! We also used to sprinkle glitter around and say that the fairies had been (with suitable amount of huffing and puffing from me about the mess the fairies made. "Don't tell father Xmas Mummy" they used to say when I pretended to be cross!) to check they were being good. Xmas Eve was the Polar Express (when we opened the Roses) after bathtime, followed by leaving Sants's mince pie etc and bed. Xmas morning was stockings first, then Father Xmas' presents. My family join us for lunch and we open those presents after lunch. Apart from the pretence re fairies etc it more or less has stayed the same. xx
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soon2be3
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Post by soon2be3 on Nov 30, 2013 19:46:45 GMT
This is our 3rd Christmas as a family Christmas Eve we go for a walk to look at the Christmas lights us around us. Home and the Christmas elf's been and left new pj's this year they are also leaving hot chocolate mug. A note is with the pj's to say Father Christmas is on his way so time to put new pj's on and go to bed. AS will refuse to get out of his PJ's Christmas Day so we stay home. I think it is his way of ensuring we stay home
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Post by lemonade on Nov 30, 2013 20:31:22 GMT
Love this thread ... some really good ideas.
In the Lemonade household we enjoy putting up decorations as close to 1st of Dec. We invite both AD's, including SIL and GD. This year we made it a little easier with most of the main decorations already put up, including the tree which just left all the tree ornaments to put on and of course GD always gets to put the star on the top and arrange the nativity. We have Christmas music playing and some dancing around followed by a lovely roast dinner made by DH
We actually did this today!
We also spread pressies out over the three days and when opening main Christmas day pressies, we always wait till after lunch and have watched the nativity and then sit in a circle and the pressies are passed out to each person and we take it in turns to open.
On Christmas morning there would always be a note left from Santa and a reindeer footprint, saying thank you and the sound of jingle bells and Ho Ho Ho, which the girls just loved.
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Post by nomoretears on Nov 30, 2013 22:17:12 GMT
We're struggling with Christmas in my house already and there are some great ideas on here. Not sure i can cope with fairy glitter (I love glitter but not so sure about on my carpet!!) but love the book advent calendar (I've bought a normal chocolate one but I already know LO won't understand eating only 1 chocolate per day). Also the idea of the elf on a shelf reporting good things - there's a lot of negative behaviour here at the moment (Christmas triggered) so it'll probably be very useful to highlight the positives.
Love your suggestion Donatella! Cheers!
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Post by chotimonkey on Dec 1, 2013 15:00:32 GMT
Love the Xmas eve walk getting back to the christmas pjs idea, def going to try it This is such a warm, lovely thread giving a snapshot of some really gorgeous family moments ))))
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Post by damson on Dec 1, 2013 20:31:50 GMT
Beware the panto for windy little people! We didn't get the traditional one we expected. When the children first came home, we were given expensive tickets to the panto by DHs work friends. It was a deeply obscure Peter Pan, a mixture of hard to follow, frightening and cross dressing... Our LOs hid below the seats, and only emerged to clutch the air for the ritual sweets. That and the glorious moment when DS's piercing little voice cut through an unexpected silence 'but he's a GIRL' for a less than lithe Peter Pan descending on a line.
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Post by gertiesquidge on Dec 2, 2013 14:31:25 GMT
December has always been difficult for our Little Prince, so we try to keep things quiet and soothing at home, lots of evenings cuddled up under blankets watching Christmas films and the Littlies get to choose if they want Christmas Dinner or something else (they usually choose their current favourite meal rather than Christmas Dinner).
We started Elf on the Shelf last year and the Littlies were so excited she was back this weekend. Our Elf isn't mischievous (no mess for me to clean up) and only ever hides in the lounge (they got freaked out by the thought of being spied on throughout the house). I've heard a rumour that this year she is going to bring Christmas activities for us all to do some days (gingerbread house kit, paper snowflakes to make etc).
And we try to remember to lower our expectations and let them act younger than their years most of December. And we know not to get upset when they abandon their shiny new toys too play with the familiar (safe) older toys.
And for me plenty of stress busting chocolate and early nights.
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Post by kstar on Dec 2, 2013 18:57:32 GMT
Fingers crossed we seem to be doing ok at the moment... Starlet seems more excited then anxious, although we have talked about what she remembers from. Christmas past.
I love the elf on a shelf idea, I think we'll be investing in an elf!
We will be doing a Christmas gift box from me on Christmas Eve, with new onesie and slipper socks, some hot chocolate with a few mini marshmallows and a box of microwave popcorn, plus a new DVD for us to snuggle up and watch together! Starlet has requested that grandma and I also get new PJs, sounds like a good excuse to me! On Christmas morning she will be getting her stocking (Barbie clothes, colouring book and pens, mini jigsaw, socks, small Lego boxes etc) and about half a dozen bigger presents.
The only thing I have asked of other people is one present only, and not on Christmas Day - they will be whenever we see people, spread from 20th Dec to New Year's Day!
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flowerpot
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Post by flowerpot on Dec 2, 2013 20:58:23 GMT
Damson, that has made me laugh We have had something similar. DS, when he was just over 2, had just walked into the theatre and seen the ugly sisters on motorbikes: 'Get me out of here NOW!' It was all too much for him and he was completely overwhelmed. He then spent a very happy couple of hours with DH playing 'plosh' on the beach while I stayed with the rest of the family group at the panto. Everyone had a lovely time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2013 21:51:33 GMT
I've never "got" panto's. We didn't have them when I was growing up, I'm Irish and it wasn't a big thing over there, so it's not something I've grown up with. Saw one once as an adult and I didn't really get it TBH. Couldn't wait for it to be over and never went to another one since, so my DD's have never seen one.
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Post by homebird on Dec 3, 2013 10:08:04 GMT
My oldest daughter has been in Panto's for nearly 10 years and choreographed the last 2 years. My youngest is now involved too. They belong to a local am dram group and its lovely to see them on stage. They tend to do the traditional style of panto - my daughters husband has been the Dame for the last few years and this year my daughter was the back end of the cow!! Very suitable for small children who were all shouting out and joining in. They had all of us adults up on our feet too.
I've never heard of Elf on the Shelf - sadly my ad is too old for that now. It's lovely to hear about everyone's xmas traditions and there's a few I would have borrowed if I had small children. My tree and decs don't go up until the weekend before xmas, maybe I;m a bit of a bah humbug!!
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Post by imprudence on Dec 3, 2013 10:29:30 GMT
I got a great idea from somebody on one of the boards and I have passed it onto friends with BC and they all love it.
Sometime late on Christmas eve, Santa's elves bring a care-parcel parcel of new jimjms and a DVD. (These could be delivered while you were out having a long walk/ swim/ drive round to look at the lights). Makes for a lovely quiet evening -- one year he brought nice bubble bath so it was a lovely smelling evening too.
This year we will be away for Christmas but I am arranging with the elves to bring new bed linen!
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Post by serrakunda on Dec 3, 2013 11:09:26 GMT
Simba loves Christmas, not a great fan myself, but I'm coming round to the idea Christmas tree is up, Christmas songs are on the CD As with last year I am keeping Christmas day just for me and Simba. He has so many parties with cubs and woodcraft folk and school stuff we'll be shattered by Christmas day We go to nanny and grandads the weekend before Christmas for Christmas dinner so he dosent miss out on family stuff. We are going to have breakfast with Santa at the Castle, big cooked breakfast at the our favourite cafe on Christmas Eve, crib service, hot chocolate and party food, Christmas DVD and story and bed. Boxing day is panto with best friends, somewhere I have to fit in visit with dad and little bro' I've just taken delivery of Very Large Christmas Present and now have to disguise it before Simba comes home, no garage, too big and heavy to squeeze through loft hatch. Ho hum
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Post by nomoretears on Dec 3, 2013 13:27:22 GMT
Oh boy, we're really struggling here with Christmas now! We haven't even "done" anything yet! Little one has become so violent - as a single carer it's all directed at me! She's so young (4) that she must be really confused - I suspect that even though we've not done anything here they've been talking about it lots at pre-school. She's already told me she's feeling bad because she's not with mummy and daddy - even though she'd barely mentioned them for months. I feel so sorry for her, but have to admit its hard dealing with her tempers every day.
She doesn't have the attention span to cuddle up and watch a DVD and is pushing away any signs of affection.
To make things worse, the beautiful chocolates I'd bought for when (if) we eventually put the tree up were opened by me last night in a de-stressing mission so now I feel fat as well as sad!!
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Post by donatella on Dec 3, 2013 13:57:15 GMT
Christmas itself hasn't been an issue here, despite two of mine being placed in November. The problem here - for my middle child - was school. The change to routine, well no routine really, the concerts, the practices, the being hauled out of class, the lack of predictability. In his last year in mainstream I simply took him out of school for a while. I saw the gp, he wrote to school and told them that school was affecting my sons mental health and that he would remain at home.
Since he's been in his special school it's all so much more relaxed. They have a concert but there's no pressure on them to perform. It's simple, joyous and even though there are occasionally tears all the children are supported.
This year my sons the narrator and he's doing a lot of the artwork. And he's keen to do it, he's not worrying, although can recognise and admit to being nervous, and he talks about.
Im hopeful!!
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Post by damson on Dec 3, 2013 16:29:22 GMT
The genie is out of the bottle in our home! Would that the new pjs, bubble bath and Christmassy DVD would do it for our teens. They will be wide awake till horribly late.
On Christmas eve, we have a special pudding of very rich rice pudding, made with cream and served with cherry sauce. (The Danes have this at Christmas.) This year, I think I shall have to add a little something extra to a couple of the portions, or Santa will be unable to make a delivery. Possibly a tot of coping juice for each parent? Or maybe some Phenergens to the other portions?
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Post by kstar on Dec 3, 2013 21:18:24 GMT
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Post by shadow on Dec 4, 2013 10:16:49 GMT
:-SWine
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Post by shadow on Dec 4, 2013 10:28:56 GMT
shadette needed ( and still does) to know she would get presents - so making sure they were under the tree early on in decemeber helped
She also used to, but hasn't for a few years, open everything quickly to see what it was, then wrap them up again and open slowly with enjoyment!
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Dec 10, 2013 9:26:20 GMT
Mine have always enjoyed Christmas, but ED was very worried about FC coming to her room. We out stockings up in the lounge and then i wake up in the middle of the night, and if he's been I put them in their rooms. We're always at our house, with the same family (give or take the odd waif and stray), We haven't done Christmas day with their cousins - I think that would be too much for them. My practical top tip is to buy 2 stockings, so you can have 1 filled in the cupboard instead of having to creep and get it from their room to fill.
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Post by gertiesquidge on Dec 10, 2013 9:37:36 GMT
Little Prince used to worry about Father Christmas coming into his room too, so we used to leave his stockinghung on his bedroom door instead. Wish he still did that as his room is completely trashed at the moment (perhaps reflecting his inner chaos in December?!) and Father Christmas is going to have to wear safety boots to wade through the Lego and all the other booby traps on his bedroom floor!
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Post by damson on Dec 11, 2013 16:55:41 GMT
We are back in the no surprises zone for AD, all presents discussed in advance, delivered on day. Soft new pjs have been bought from Primark. Next move is bubble bath and Christmas DVD/ downloadable movie. Definitely no Monopoly on Christmas Eve.
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