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Post by kstar on Sept 13, 2013 16:08:21 GMT
Do we have any prospectives here? Come on and post, test us with tough questions...
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Post by vickyvixen on Sept 13, 2013 20:29:33 GMT
Hi, I'm a prospective but haven't got any questions ATM - have just done my prep course (finished today) so am questioned out! Will inevitably change tomorrow but just wanted to say it's great to be here & thanks everyone for the heads up about this x
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Post by pirate on Sept 20, 2013 17:49:17 GMT
Any pointers for:
Adoption form like putting in reason why we want to adopt....I've waffled but welcome ideas tat we can add on te form.
And next week we have 3 day prep course - any tips/pointers/heads up?
Thank you. Pirate
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Post by larsti on Sept 21, 2013 9:04:19 GMT
Hi Pirate Our son was placed in May 2009 so its a while since we did our prep course (actually in July 2006!! not that I want to frighten you....there were special circs) Anyway, no help with prep course but as far as the question about why you want to adopt....a little story! When we went to approval panel the very first question they asked us was why do you want to adopt (we have 3 birth children). I expected that question but afterwards DH said he hadn't expected it! Anyway, basically our reason for adopting was....we just wanted to! That seemed a good enough answer for them. We did waffle a bit of course, and we had discussed adoption for years (between 2nd and 3rd BC as well) but basically it boiled down to, we just wanted to adopt So don't worry too much just answer all their questions honestly and your SW will tell you if she thinks panel will want more info in any area. Best wishes Larsti
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Post by taliesin on Sept 21, 2013 14:25:58 GMT
Hi Pirate - welcome! Adoption form...we didn't have to fill in one of these but we had already written to SS explaining our background, reasons etc - personally I'd keep it honest, heartfelt and most importantly showing you understand the difference between providing a home for a LO rather than your need for a family... Prep course - enjoy it! Actively show you are taking part....try to show you are willing to learn, take advice, be open, that your flexible.......from a tactical point of view, even if you really disagree with something just show you are 'open' (not saying you cant have opinions, but you do have to learn to 'play the game' a bit....) Its a great chance to make friends who could well become important part of your support network.... Its very emotional and draining...dont plan on doing anything after each day! Depending on how much research/reading you've been doing, some of it may be a real eye-opener and distressing..... And just remember that they will make notes that are included in a (very brief) summary in your PAR at end of HS which will go to panel... Very exciting start of the process - hope you enjoy it! Keep us posted xx
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Post by knight on Sept 21, 2013 18:28:50 GMT
Hi Pirate,
Welcome: Reasons to adopt: I don't recall having to write this down but on my initial visit, I was asked this question and, as others have said, I kept it simple and from the heart, no need for fancy answers: "I want to be a mum/parent a child". I'm sure that's a majority answer anyway. As Tali said - it does go deeper than that and they need to be satisfied at that stage that they can see something of what it takes to parent an adopted child; that tends to be elicited from other information they glean from your life story.
Prep - I'm part-way through: despite having researched/read around adoption-related issues, I was still a little anxious on the first day, just the unknown. A little icebreaker at the beginning which was just great fun and really did get everyone relaxing and laughing in an instant. There are no 'wrong' answers. I lady on my prep thought she'd sound stupid if she said something; I told her there are no stupid or wrong answers - they're the ones we probably all want to ask but aren't brave enough and remember: we're all there to learn and the social workers' job is to get us to think in the round, think of how our future child has been/will be feeling (coming into care, intros, etc).
As Tali said, I also heard that you are being observed in that sense and a couple a month ahead of me said they actively saw the SW writing comments. But please, don't let that worry you. I have to say, I didn't see any of the SWs writing anything down at all and we were a big group. They probably do it when they get back to the office but if you participate, ask any questions you have (which not only helps you but everyone else in the group who really wants to hear the answer to YOUR question) but shows that you are 'participating'. Make sure you chat to your other half beforehand and ensure that he/she actively participates as well: otherwise, the SW may bring that up in home study....Just be yourselves and join in. You get broke up into little groups, just to look at case studies of children: the reasons why they came into care and just different scenarios to get you thinking about how they might be feeling with in foster care etc. Truly, just join in and enjoy it.
Dependent on the size of the agency, they'll probably arrange for various people to come in to do talks (which breaks up the day as well): so adopters, foster carers, birth parent(s), paediatrician, early years foundation people, etc. Again, it's another opportunity to ask questions - I'm sure they'll invite you to chip in whenever you want: they were very open, encouraging, etc.
Hope you enjoy it - let us know how you get on.
Knight
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Post by vickyvixen on Sept 21, 2013 21:30:01 GMT
Hi, I have just finished my prep course & my LA is taking me through to the Home Study bit now which leads to panel. I LOVED the prep course. I was very nervous beforehand because I knew I would be 'marked' on my performance but it was fine. The others in the group were lovely and we all plan to keep in touch & be our own little support group. Asking questions came naturally and we had a giggle too. It will cover the process, the types of children, the issues they may face & include first hand accounts from people. It is very tiring & emotional - we all cried on day 1 which probably helped us all bond quicker! I hope it goes well & that you enjoy it.
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Post by pirate on Sept 21, 2013 21:38:41 GMT
Thank you for your replies. Puts me at ease reading your experiences. I have a bc age 6 - not able to conceive (moved on from not being able to have anymore) and now going through adoption process ? Yesterday we told our little one about going to prep next week (had to arrange chilcare). She is so happy but we will need to keep an eye on her expectations. I will post next week and let you all know how I got on. Thank you again. Pirate
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