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Post by vickyvixen on Nov 5, 2013 9:44:51 GMT
After a fairly challenging October, I've had some good news. I've been allocated a SW for my Home Study & she's the one I wanted. Feel really lucky & happy. Am at home now cleaning (well I should be . Any tips for HS would be gratefully received!
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Post by moo on Nov 5, 2013 14:13:41 GMT
Yay well done..... So lucky to get the sw you wanted.......
As for tips ......ummm just be you...... She will be looking at a load of personal info. ... Just be prepared for that..... It can feel intrusive but you obviously know its necessary..... I wanted to prove I was reading loads.... Wrote a few sentences about each book read esp what I considered the most important facts etc.... That went down very well with s/w esp as it was in the Region of 50 books!!!
Checked out local schools for the age I thought I wanted & the top 2 I volunteered as a listener to readers.... That way I was getting hands on relevant & current childcare.... Plus checking on schools on the inside out!!!! Worked really well....
Support network is a biggy start thinking who & where they are .....don't forget here, support can also be by phone not actually physical..... Male role models are also sw critical....
Hth & not too confusing!!
Xx. moo. Xxx
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Post by kstar on Nov 5, 2013 16:10:16 GMT
Wahoo that's great! I would echo everything Moo said... I think SOME social workers (and some panel members) are skeptical about singlies adopting, so I always felt I needed to go the extra mile to prove myself! Keeping a reading list of what I'd read and what I'd learnt from them proved invaluable for my PAR, think carefully about who your referees will be and what they can add (I think for single adopters especially it's important that referees can talk about your support network). Be yourself, be as honest as you can be but play the game when necessary! Collect information about groups, clubs etc in your area that might be of interest to littlie, again this was mentioned in my PAR. Print out Ofsted reports from local schools. "Exaggerate" your support network - I included all kinds of people, like that fact that I know one of the community nurses at our local practice (haven't seen her since adopting!) and had had the same GP for ten years...
Remember to make drinks and have cakes handy :-) my SW said she regularly spends half days in people's houses without ever being offered a drink!!!
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Post by smileycat on Nov 7, 2013 22:40:53 GMT
Fantastic news!!
My best advice- don't clean too much! I was asked how I would cope when a LO was placed and I had to let my standards drop! It seemed to be a real concern for her. When I look back at pre-kids photos now I can see why she said it... :-)
Snort if my assessing sw could only see my house now!!!! Ha ha.
Wishing you the best of luck on your journey.
Sc x
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2013 11:14:06 GMT
All of the above really. Just try and relax and go with the flow. I helps if you actually like your SW, I couldn't stand mine, but I managed to not ever let her see that and by the end she thought we were quite matey (her perception, not mine!) . It is difficult being asked personal probing questions by a complete stranger and sometimes in your head you want to tell her to, shut up, or words to that effect, but you have to remember she is only doing her job and not take offence, although sometimes it's hard especially as you are already an experienced Mum and she may be young enough to not have any children herself. I always found it hard being lectured to by someone who didn't have a child of her own. Smile sweetly, nod in all the right places and if you are unsure about anything, or don't want to commit to anything, a really good line is. "that's not something I have though about, I will definately give it some extra thought". This one shows that you are open to discussion, that you are open minded, and it also gives you time to deflect her away from something that you might want to think further about, or to come on here and ask us lot about. I'm sure it will go well once you get started you will relax a bit more. Yes tea, coffee and biscuits/cakes always go down well, or even sandwiches if it's near a meal time, and it's surprising how hungry you can get when talking for hours. As you already have a BC I'm sure your home is homely and child friendly already, as I know SW can be alarmed if they go into a house that looks like it is straight out of Homes and Gardens as they struggle to see how a child will fit in with the perfect decor. No worries on that front in my house as I like a few knocks and chips and am not that house proud like some.
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Post by knight on Nov 10, 2013 12:05:14 GMT
Yes, I learned a similar lesson when I sold my last home: it had gone from clutter to show home (literally and didn't even looked lived in) so, now when had first SW visit, yes it was "SW clean" but with a few strategic things left out so that it didn't look pristine. I don't do OCD anyway but still, I recognised the SW needed to be able to see a child living here. The next visit, I didn't even try and just had it my usual normal standard. I think we all do it, go into the mad cleaning phase at the beginning, we just want to make the best impression but it's better that we feel comfortable too. As others have said, tea/coffee/biscuits - just as you would when friends visit and just be yourself. I found it really comfortable and chatty to be fair
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Post by vickyvixen on Nov 11, 2013 23:32:18 GMT
Thanks all - my first visit went well & I have 2 more scheduled in for December. She said it should all be fine although I need to get rid of some debt before going to panel - not easy in the run up to Christmas!
I've got to finish the first of the two workbooks by the next visit. Your tips about the research are great and I'm sure my house won't be as clean/tidy next time (although I don't think it could ever be 'show home standard' as I've got too much stuff!)
Next step - sort out medical & see quite how bad my BMI is!!
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