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Post by mudlark on Mar 30, 2023 14:41:48 GMT
SS are being really nasty.
Lapwing assaulted me yesterday ran away , still missing.
We have been saying for months that she needs re-accomdating by SS for her own safety - respite foster care, therapeutic residential school, whatever. but right now we cannot keep her safe etc
Today we were considering saying to the police when she is brought to the door and they say ' are you happy to have her back' saying no. This in order to put the onus on SS to accomadate her.
SS has said they will 'do us' for abandonment if we do this.
What??? Is this right.
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Post by leo on Mar 30, 2023 15:51:39 GMT
It's something I know they threaten. I was threatened with it years ago when I took Sovial Sevices to court to fund therapy.
From people I know it's only ever been a threat, never acted upon. They think you'll back down. You have plenty of evidence of how much you have done to guide and support Lapwing and also how much you have tried to get services to support her. A judge would laugh it out of court.
I think they can/do ask for a financial contribution occasionally but in all cases I know this is a nominal amount of something like £10 a week.
Stick to your guns. Sadly I think it is your only way to keep your family safe and to get some help for Lapwing.
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Post by flutterby on Mar 30, 2023 15:52:05 GMT
Please speak to police and explain as per my other post. They are your best allies.
Yes, they may threaten you with abandonment charges, but which judge in their right mind would sentence you? It is an empty threat. You have all the evidence your daughter is doing untold damage to her younger brother and SS are standing by not doing their job. They are being criminally negligent in their refusal to protect your daughter from herself.
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Post by mudlark on Mar 30, 2023 16:18:38 GMT
SS are making what is an already very stressful and upsetting situation even worse.
We will get legal advice.
I have never felt so beaten down by an organisation, so vilified and attacked.
Lapwing is still missing. I can see she has used her instagram account by logging on in the local library. She has told her friends I have thrown her out!
I have told the police.
I expect she will be back soon. I am dreading it. It feels so awful to say that about my own daughter!
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Post by flutterby on Mar 30, 2023 16:51:42 GMT
Mudlark, I totally get where you're coming from.
No words can describe the heartache, the rage at the injustice of it all, the grief caused by this betrayal by services.
Us having to hold it together, being reasonable when we have just been assaulted - and especially when we realise that we did not get physically injured too badly, but know it could have been very different if just for a split second or yet more determination on our children's part. It is something no-one can understand unless they have been through it.
What I am trying to say is, there are no awful or bad thoughts on your part. You are entitled to your feelings, to try and process this any way your mind needs to work through this. You may be feeling numb, rage inside, tearful- being under this unbearable strain, please find some time to have compassion for yourself.
Keep communication open with the police, do not wait until they find her. Try and put things in place now using their non emergency number or any direct contact number they hay have given you. Write down collar numbers of all staff you come in contact with, particularly noting the ones who are supportive, empathetic and ask to speak to them or have messages relayed to them.
Thinking of you all (((Mudlark)))
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Post by moo on Mar 30, 2023 21:26:07 GMT
(((((((Mudlark))))))
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Post by leo on Apr 3, 2023 19:40:31 GMT
Thinking of you and hoping you are all safe.
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Post by serrakunda on Apr 3, 2023 21:30:54 GMT
so hard Mudlark, I hope she is safe.
I don’t think social services can ‘do you’ for abandonment. I just looked up the definition - abandonment is the act of leaving a child - you have not left, she left you. In any case its the CPS which determines if the police can charge for an offence.
They are trying to frighten you.
The police may well be your allies here. The teenager of a work colleague of mine was taken bsck into foster care after the police told the SW it wasnt safe for them to return home and they had to do something
Hope you have better news soon
x
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