jap87
New Member
Posts: 3
|
Post by jap87 on Sept 11, 2021 15:38:41 GMT
Hello All I’m Jap87 and I’m currently coming to the end of stage 1 of our adoption journey,
Just looking for advice really and to see if any other adopters in the uk are currently experiencing the same issue as us.
We had a meeting with our social worker on Wednesday (8/09/21) who informed us that due to a ‘national baby shortage’ unless current adopters who have a preference for a baby who are with the agency are willing to change their preferences to older children (4+) the adoption agency will no longer continue the adoption process with them. She told us that in order to progress we would need to look at older children 4-7 years old, a sibling group or a disabled baby to continue.
She said that we could potentially pause the process for 6 months and see what the demographic for adoption is like then (although the likelihood is nothing would have changed) or we could move to another agency and they would send all relevant information over however as this is a national issue we would face the same obstacles.
Should nothing have changed after 6 months and we choose to not adopt at that point we would then have to start the process again “if and when” babies are up for adoption again this would include all references, training, health checks etc despite us coming to the end of stage 1 and beginning stage 2 in the next week or so.
I asked her when babies are able to be adopted again how do they match the child to the adopters (as she said they are currently having the same conversation with 46 other people) and she couldn’t give me an answer.
We are really disappointed that the agency are making this decision and are meeting with a manager next week, has anyone else met this obstacle or similar and do you have any advice or guidance you could give us?
TIA 🤞🏻
|
|
|
|
Post by moo on Sept 11, 2021 19:30:46 GMT
Welcome jap87.....
Many many moons ago now I know but I was approved for a sib group aged 0-8.. deffo no babies in the system then either.....
So I would be asking your sw to be able to continue with a view of being approved for a child or sib group 0-7... why does it have to be 4-7??
Once approved you will be sent child's cpr's & you will be able to progress with the ones you feel drawn/comfortable parenting most, what is to say that may well only be tiny 👶 babies... times they are a changing your sw may see thro this plan but why... talk the talk.... Any match has to be right for the child so post approval you will be drawn to babies after all.... we all have a long wait post approval ( in my experience) for the right match, a baby will be longer always has been the case.... The new foster to adopt may speed things up...
Sorry my advice is so out of date...do keep us posted about your journey...
Xx moo 🐮
|
|
|
|
Post by leo on Sept 11, 2021 20:19:31 GMT
Welcome.
When I applied to adopt, my LA were clear that they were not taking anyone for assessment who was purely interested in babies. I think they had that policy for about 2 years.
Out of about 20 people in my training group, I think 3 or 4 had children under the age of one placed with them.
It didn't bother me because I was looking for school age children. I'm not sure how the ones who wanted younger children approached it. I presume some waited and didn't even apply for assessment. Others maybe reviewed why they wanted a young baby and perhaps accepted or felt they would be happy with an older child. Some got want they had originally wanted by taking a gamble - I assume they would have been happy to wait for a match if needed.
Maybe you have to think through which option would be for you?
Sadly, a lot of adoption is about waiting (for both the children and the adopters) and it is something you have to learn to deal with or it will drive you crazy.
|
|
|
|
Post by serrakunda on Sept 11, 2021 20:47:23 GMT
Did she really say national baby shortage? What a dreadful thing to say.
I saw a reply to a post on another forum from a SW about the same issue. The thing that stuck in my mind is he said that adoption is first and foremost a service for children, not a service for adopters. The children who are looking for families are the children who are looking for families at any one time. Many things influence that. The pandemic has caused havoc in social services and in the courts.
You could pause and start again when there may be more babies waiting, but by the time you get through the process the picture may have changed again, and in any case those people who carried on now will already be waiting.
I’d agree with asking for approval from 0 to 7 so you can keep your options open.
I can’t see that the matching process would be any different, they will match to who they feel is the most suitable prospective adopters. Babies are not blank slates, they will have their own needs and ethnicity may come into play
|
|
jap87
New Member
Posts: 3
|
Post by jap87 on Sept 11, 2021 22:06:04 GMT
Thanks so much for your replies.
We have a meeting with the SW and her manager on Monday and we will suggest going from 0-7. We are also planning to ask to continue through the adoption process right to the end and then pause if needs be however I have a feeling they are going to say no. Just hoping to get some answers and we’ve been so excited throughout the process so far.
We are reasonably youngish at 28 and 33 and have said we are willing to wait for the right child. This is not something that should ever be rushed and we’re just gutted that the adoption agency aren’t willing to keep us on until our baby comes in to the system. That could be 6 months or 3 years, we’ll wait…
|
|
|
|
Post by moo on Sept 12, 2021 9:52:01 GMT
Good Luck For Monday
Ss have a knack of looking for parents who are patient, resilient, committed, know their boundaries, can prove their parenting of specific children's needs BUT when they decide it has to be a certain way they expect us to fit in & agree at the drop of a hat 😈 Always seems skewed to me 😉 ...
Hang in, you sound committed that will help you cope with ss being ss & taking over all control of your lives xx
Please Keep Us Posted...
Xx moo 🐮
|
|
|
|
Post by mrsbear21 on Sept 12, 2021 20:08:54 GMT
Hi jap87 My husband and I are also going through the process at the moment. We're a few weeks into stage 2.
Our agency really stressed the foster to adopt programme if people wanted a baby. So you probably want to make sure your SW also knows you want to be assessed/ approved for that as well (unless you're not keen on the extra stresses that come with that).
We were also told that for the previous year they'd matched more babies via F2A than via the conventional process. But one of the other couples training with us asked for a number breakdown, the agency had to go and check. They confirmed (to their own surprise) that while they had matched approx 14 babies via F2A, they had matched approx 12 under 2s via the conventional route. They did say 2 or 3 of those were siblings of children already with those adopters; and there is a big difference between a baby and a 2 year old. But it does suggest no matter what SW say there are children of all ages/routes out there. As others have said it's down to the waiting game...
And our agency has told us there are fewer babies, that the system is struggling on account of the pandemic and to have the widest set of matching criteria we can. But they haven't said they won't allow people who want to specify 0 to x age to progress. So I'd keep pressing to include the younger age range in your criteria.
We're not looking for a baby, so haven't been affected by this yet. But I know we're due a chat about our matching criteria. I fully expect to be pushed on any hesitations we have. Again, I think that's part of the process and testing our suitability. They want to know we can deal with the unexpected or non ideal scenario.
|
|
