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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 28, 2019 15:53:48 GMT
So call us crazy, but we Have had our matching meeting this week for currently 3 month old half sibling... all parties have agreed to proceed with the match...
So we are starting the reapproval process... we are sure another monkey is the right thing for all of us... but ....
Now the tricky bit of explaining how bm and bf are no longer together, we don’t know where bf is abd bm is with someone new... they haven’t asked much about bfamily before... more about F.C. and themselves in F.C.and as tiny babies. They see F.C. with new babies so we talk about the process of adoption a lot, we’ve opened conversations about bf, but they haven’t been that interested.
Any advice... we have asked ss for some help and guidance with explaining the circumstances to the kids and to think of what might come up for them?
Thank you xx
Ps new monkey is entirely squidgable and completely gorgeous 😍❤️😍
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Post by flutterby on Jul 28, 2019 16:44:10 GMT
Omg, Choti, you're so brave! Congrats and good luck. I'm not sure if there is a right or wrong way to go about this as long as you stick to facts in a child friendly way, which you would anyway. They may not be interested in details other than, wow a baby!
Maybe wait to see if issues arise, I find Butterfly tends to just take things and accept them at face value.
Maybe mention about different birth dad but really no need to speak about their birth dad and that you don't know where he is at this point. Then move on to lots of details about baby and the foster carers.
Keep us posted, such exciting times.
Xxx
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Post by moo on Jul 28, 2019 19:26:17 GMT
Oohhh WoW... choti we always had to hold you down xxxxx
I found with my 2 at that age it sunk in better if they asked a Q first & were 'open' iykwim.... I think obviously bm's baby will be so very exciting... ( is it a pink or blue baby ?xx btw) new babies daddy is just different to other monkeys... mine being boys wouldn't Q a daddy tbh just bm new baby iykwim xx
Oh what news how amazing xxx Congratulations.......
Xx moo xx
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Post by serrakunda on Jul 29, 2019 7:21:29 GMT
OMG !!!!!
👶👶👶
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 29, 2019 14:55:49 GMT
Thanks...
We have our first approval meeting with our new sw. tomo... considerably less effort has gone into cleaning for this then for our first where we practically redecorated the hous😂😜
our last sw has moved up... I’m a bit gutted because she did our reapprovals fof howler and then again for george... we’ve had 4 panels with her, shez very experienced and did a lot of the work for us... she went above and beyond on a number of occasions. New sw is v new.
I suppose with the kids I’m overthinking and trying to second guess everything they might ask... when like you all say.. they might just be like hey a baby!
What age have your kids got interested in their birth families...
X
Ps baby sib is a little boy. We’ve known about him for about four months into the pregnancy. We were contacted because a scan had shown he had several soft markers for edwards. A condition often ‘incompatible with life’ so we were being prepared for the idea that there might not be a full term baby/ there might be a baby who died very soon after birth/ live a shortened life span with extreme disabilities or maybe be ok.
I got kind of used to sending him my love and strength and hope put to him and when he was born without Edwards he seemed like a little Miracle!
Our little gang get a lot of their strength and joy from being a unit... george and howler particularly struggle socially and having a place where they are accepted just the way they are is their biggest help... be nice to make that gang a little bigger
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Post by moo on Jul 29, 2019 15:16:36 GMT
WoW miracle indeed how wonderous... little boy a perfect mix 2 roses & 2 snap dragons! So jealous just wish I had the energy....
Ok bm had a baby when my 2 were 6 & 7.... half sib....
I told them bm had had a baby & baby had a different Daddy to them... All they were interested in was about the baby.... not one Q about the new daddy or even where theirs had gone!?...
Skweek desperate for us to adopt her.... sadly not to be..... can't say why too revealing but lets just say ss finances at the bottom of it.... Skweek very very sad about it he is a rescuer ( wants to be rescued himself)....
Luckily he has got over it.....
They both separately asked a few Q's for a few months.... really good Q's actually.... I answered & they really 'got it'.... if I tried to broach the subject they didn't really engage.... it has been the same with many adoption issues they accept if they can ask again if they need to iykwim.....
Skweeks only bonkers Q was.... " do tiny baby girls have 4 toes on each foot too mummeeee!! 😘
Good Luck your gang will be amazing xxx I know monkeys will only want to know everything about him the excitement will be massive 😍
I hope your new proposed son has no other medical issues lurking ....
So Thrilled By Your News xxxxx
Xx moo xx
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Post by gilreth on Jul 29, 2019 16:43:11 GMT
Wow Choti - so much respect for you going for another. I would love another child but we have agreed that with Sqk's needs and my own issues we just wouldn't cope. Well not without one of us dropping hours at work and we are in a good palce right now.
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Post by mudlark on Jul 29, 2019 22:06:44 GMT
Wow and Wow again! Your are clearly an incredible mother! Another little one.....I also feel the tiniest bit jealous! xxxx wonderful news!
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Post by chotimonkey on Aug 2, 2019 11:38:13 GMT
thanks for all the kind words. i'm definitely not incredible, maybe just never had a life plan, so i'm pretty chilled with the idea that our life and way we live our lives with the monkeys might take us in very unexpected directions. open to home schooling, no exams, equipping the kids for a very different sort of life that is manageable for them, carving out a way that they can live in the world, kids living with us for the duration... whatever really
had our first meeting and we have three more to reassess. have fc phone number and we've introduced each other and are going to start sharing videos of the children once we're back from hols... and maybe sort out a few contact visits... approval and matching planned for November...intros a couple of weeks after if all goes to plan!
fingers crossed
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Post by serrakunda on Aug 2, 2019 13:03:14 GMT
home for Christmas would be nice wouldnt it
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Post by chotimonkey on Aug 2, 2019 14:27:51 GMT
I’m not holding my breath... nothing has ever gone ac ording to plan with court dates before... ‘something’ always comes up
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Post by leo on Aug 7, 2019 21:56:42 GMT
Sorry, late to add my congratulations (but now have a laptop at last!)
Not sure if I can decide if I think you are bonkers or amazing but your older three look so happy and you really seem to all have such a capacity for love and fun that it will be lovely. I really hope that this time maybe things can go smoothly for you - surely the law of averages has to swing in your favour by now?
Looking forward to hearing more news.
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Post by ladybug on Aug 14, 2019 19:11:35 GMT
Oh wow Choti! Sorry late to the party. That is so amazing, happy for you.
Ladybug x x x
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Post by mudlark on Aug 24, 2019 21:40:37 GMT
Looking forward to an update...xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Aug 31, 2019 18:24:18 GMT
Hi...
we have one assessment meeting left (have had 3)
Have return to adoption training day (🤷♀️🤦🏽♀️🤷♀️) booked in. Tiny monkey has final date at the end of Oct, we have approval and matching in early Nov, and then intros booked from mid Nov for a week.
Trying to get a couple of contact meetings booked in too.
Monkeys all know now and had zero interest in birth family differences... just wanted to know practicalities, if he’d bring his own toys, where he’d sleep, if they could tell their friends, if it meant an extra presents on bdays (howler doesn’t miss a trick)
Bit worried about medical.. so much heavier then the first time round, was a size 12 now a size 18 😬. I think I’m reasonably healthy, but I know it’ll come up at panel and 1- I’m a bit down on myself about it anyway and 2 - it plays into all my previous insecurities about being the one in our relationship with carppy ovaries that couldn’t get pregnant abd know I’m the one who’s bmi is something that could threaten our chances.
Trying to just focus on it as a kick to get into healthier ways because I need to anyway and am taking positive action,
There’s always something they are going to look at I guess
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Post by moo on Aug 31, 2019 18:55:01 GMT
Wow choti charging to the finish so exciting xxx
Just knew the monkeys would only want to know about toys & pecking order really 😤 xxx they will be so happy xx
Really do not worry about bmi xxx I think we all are a tad bigger ( me too thats for very sure xxx 😰 )
How wonderful a megga full house in time for Santa xxx ⛄
Do keep us posted xxx Such lovely news xxx
Xx moo xx
P.S.... Time to think of a new baby monkey name me thinks xxx
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Post by serrakunda on Sept 11, 2019 14:25:17 GMT
Did you have your medical yet? I've got my fostering one in a few weeks and am similarly fretting
I'm sure we will both be fine,
what a houseful for Christmas !
x
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Post by chotimonkey on Sept 13, 2019 17:48:22 GMT
Medical Tuesday... sw is fine, she’s writing up our final report, just don’t want it to be a sticking point with panel.. but I guess I’ve got two months to show willing!
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Post by chotimonkey on Sept 13, 2019 17:52:14 GMT
Also we are going to have contact soon... now called ‘chemistry meetings’ for potential adopters...
Can’t wait to meet this little dude!!
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Post by moo on Sept 13, 2019 19:24:45 GMT
Chemistry meetings..... what twaddle 😣😩😟 Can you imagine explaining chemistry meeting to an older child.... ss has gone completely mad....
So thrilled for you choti xxx
What of the medical concerns? Is it all a myth? Xx Is he o.k.?
Oohh so exciting imagining you all.... it'll be a cricket team before you know it xxx
Lovely post xxx
Xx moo xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Sept 18, 2019 11:55:45 GMT
I know...chemistry meeting... sw speak is bewilderingly bizarre at times.
Dreaded medical done... doc v lovely
Can’t wait to meet little man... feel like it’s temping fate to give him a name on here till he’s home 😬
But am dying to see him... taking all my (limited at the best of times) reserve not to pester fc constantly for photos
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