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Post by shadow on Oct 18, 2013 9:03:41 GMT
my lovely friends cant understand why I let shadette have access to the internet - yes things would never have happened if she hadn't - but in this day and age its really hard not to let a housebound teenager have some access
OK it went wrong again - but she had had a lot of professional input regarding safety online and they felt she was safe to use it
I am looking at recent events as proof of how vulnerable she is and really cant keep herself safe at all - and a warning for when she is in the residential home of how much she is at risk from herself and others
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 18, 2013 9:17:22 GMT
Shadow
I hope your friends arent making you feel guilty about this. This is neither your nor Shadettes fault. If Shadette is ever to have any thing approaching a normal life she will be in world of technology and the internet. You cant and probably shouldnt try to stop her. But she does need to learn to keep herself safe
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Post by shadow on Oct 18, 2013 9:22:25 GMT
yup - and she has proved again that she just cant - as Barnardos have said all along - all this focus on getting her out the house is crazy when she is so vulnerable - the work she needed all along was therapy and a place in a therapeutic community - not all the damn sticker charts etc
at least now she has proved to everyone that despite worksheets, talking etc she is not a competent adult
so when she moves they will know to keep her safe and work with her on keeping herself safe
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Post by sooz on Oct 18, 2013 10:14:55 GMT
If the internet didn't exist, the friends would probably choose something else that she shouldn't have been allowed to do. People look for reasons, like to offer advice or opinions as it makes them feel 'helpful' or knowledgeable in situations they just don't understand. All that's ever done for me is to make me feel judged.
A close friend of mine, who has known my ds since a few months old recently asked me 'what would happen if you really shouted at him when he does something wrong, wouldn't that make him behave?' Err, no.....
Serrakunda is right, shadette will at some point have access to the internet whether you'd kept it from her or not.
Just remember, you know best xxx
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Post by moo on Oct 18, 2013 10:24:37 GMT
I so hope this has empowered you shadow.... All you have warned others & worried about for shadette finally happening.... your dad & you immediately jumping on it & diffusing a horrific situation....
I really hope it crystallises in the new team all that you have told them re shadettes personality & maturity....
{{}}
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by Deleted on Oct 18, 2013 13:10:40 GMT
They haven't got a clue Shadow. If they did one day in your shoes they would see. Hugs to you and don't let their ignorance bother you. xx
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Post by shadow on Oct 18, 2013 13:32:30 GMT
my friends are really lovely - but I think unless you have parented teenagers, its difficult to imagine how they do get up to things, and you dpo have to let them do some stuff and hope they are safe - you cant wrap them up in cotton wool
but it is hard when our kids are so young and vulnerable - as well as having very abnormal experiences very young giving them a skewed view on relationships
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Post by janpan on Oct 20, 2013 8:43:41 GMT
It's a funny balance with teenagers, especially around other people's BCs. Because we treat ours as young children in so many ways, then suddenly there are certain things they are allowed which seem out of kilter. I know the few remaining friends we have think it's all very strange and that we are making mistake after mistake, we probably are! I get so confused myself and lose track of what we are trying to do.
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