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Post by serrakunda on Oct 18, 2017 0:02:43 GMT
a person in my office , who has received several warnings for being verbally aggressive has brought an allegation of bullying against me. I have had this hanging over me for 6 weeks whilst he has been off sick following a very minor operation.
Neither my line manager nor my unit manager, or my two peers in the team, believe I am a bully.
an incident occured during which this person was verbally agressive to me, I told him not to speak to me in that manner and walked away from the situation. As a manager I could have handled it better. But I am clear in my mind that I was reacting to him
Today we had a mediated meeting. He dragged up all sorts of incidents, including other people, which had nothing to do with me, but which he managed to twist.
My position is untenable isnt it. No one will tackle the wider issues, my boss has admitted to me that I am taking the flak for other situations that are not of my making.
I don't like my job, its boring and I am being deskilled. If it wasnt for Simba I woukd be handing in my resignation tomorrow.
But I won't get another job that would match the terms and conditions or pension, not to mention the sheer convenience of an office 10 minutes walk from home. Part time jobs are hard to come by.
So I am trapped.
Sorry fir the ramble, needed to get it off my chest.
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Post by moo on Oct 18, 2017 6:56:55 GMT
Sending you hugs & urging you to take a long breath out.... Stand firm this is bonkers you have everything to lose.... hateful job aside, the perks are just too good...... Fight Fight Fight.....
It sounds to me that your bosses are not behaving like bosses!!! They have admitted to you they feel the charge unfounded & therefore clearly unprovable.... Stand firm make him prove what he says. He needs to furnish you/r boss with copious proof... He Said/She Said! He has exaggerated stuff.....
You say in the meeting he sighted many red herrings... why didn't your boss throw it out?/ deal with each in point?
Your mediator having slept on it will surely see the red herrings as twisted & inappropriate.. mediator has to think about a way ahead, therefore this man cannot 'prove' a fair case for you to answer....That is a superiors job as mediator in this surely?
Once your accuser is proven he is mistaken, he then surely has to fight for his job as he is creating a bad working environment involving the whole department?
Has he been in the dept long? What is his working relationship like with others? are his bosses saying similar to him as they have you... I somehow doubt it!
If you feel you will not get another job ( good with same perks ) then fight him tooth & claw it is your professional reputation afterall...
Xx hugs xx
Xx moo xx
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Post by mudlark on Oct 18, 2017 10:42:45 GMT
It sounds awful, but as you said part time jobs with those conditions and that convenience are rare to come by.....
I don't know where you work but I seem to have picked up it's the public sector. It sounds to me that you are being treated rather shabbily and are not being supported by your managers. Your accuser sounds like he has it in for you, Is it time to up the game and seek advice from the union if you are a member of one?
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 18, 2017 11:19:30 GMT
I am in the Department for Education
i'm pretty stuck to be honest. I am a member of the TU, I used to be a rep and I have enough experience to know that formalising grievances achieves very little and usually makes things worse.
I would have to call witnesses, including the team member who has Autism. That would make him very vulnerable and I'm not going to do that to him
So I either put up, shut up or leave. |
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Post by moo on Oct 18, 2017 11:23:30 GMT
Having read this back I too was thinking like mudlark appears to be....
Your manager/mediator is not doing their job....
The only thing to be addressed is the complaint/accusation. It is poor practise by the mediator/boss to allow your accusor to stray off the point & for you in your bosses words to be "taking the flak for wider issues?! "
The wider issues have to be addressed separately....This goes beyond poor managment stategy!??
Well said Mudlark... take it higher, unions if they exist...
Xx moo xx
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Post by daffin on Oct 19, 2017 9:30:09 GMT
I really feel for you. This kind of work stress is hard to contain and seeps into everything else - in my experience.
Don’t let this process drive you out.
Your union should be able to provide you with free legal representation. It sounds like you need it - as it sounds like proper procedure isn’t being followed. Just because someone’s a manager or a mediator, doesn’t mean that they’re good it it.
You need proper backing. You need to ‘win’ (though it’s tragic you’re being forced into this position) and then you need to rebuild your work relationships so that work is a place of calm professionalism rather than a source of stress.
It might be useful to get signed off sick by the GP for a week or so, so that you can step back and regroup while preparing for the next hearing/ step in the process.
Keep talking to us. Good luck.
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 19, 2017 11:43:18 GMT
honestly no-one wins in these situations. Its a horrible mess.
I have no complaint about how my boss handled the meeting. She has talked him out of making it a formal grievance, I'm not going to escalate it back up.
I'm feeling a bit better, I went to see Marc Almond at the Birmingham Symphony Hall on Tuesday which was amazing, I am going for a facial and massage this afternoon, and wonder of wonders on Saturday
drum roll please
I am going to the pub ! I have a rather fetching pair of new burgandy suede chelsea boots, with a heel! The first heels I've had in 6 years !
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Post by moo on Oct 19, 2017 14:08:46 GMT
Enjoy your new social wirl xxx quite jealous tbh xx
Xx moo xx
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 19, 2017 18:14:55 GMT
I will remind you of that next Sept when you might be free as a bird!
I am buffed, polished and oiled - I sound like a car which has been valeted !
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Post by nzhb on Oct 23, 2017 18:03:47 GMT
Are you a perfect vintage car - highly prized & admired ?
Or would you rather be a new model, sleek & shiny, waiting to be discovered?
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Post by serrakunda on Oct 23, 2017 22:26:41 GMT
ooooh good question
vintage I think
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Post by cowgirl on Nov 30, 2017 14:41:17 GMT
Hi Serra how are things lately? Sounds blooming awful  |
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Post by serrakunda on Jan 26, 2018 21:15:23 GMT
well things got worse, though not directly for me.
One of the other admin staff made a groundless compaint about B, the other person on my grade. It was nasy. So with the baseless allegation against me, that was 3 complaints about managers. Surprisingly none of us went to the Christmas do
So S went and got herself a transfer. B has decided enough is enough, is jacking it in and moving to Devon with her boyfriend and her sister to start a well being business. The boss doesnt know this yet and won't until she gives her notice in at the end of March
I therefore need to get a transfer before then because the staff situation will be dire
Keeping up ?
Anyways - an oppotunity has come up, I've applied.
Fingers crossed !
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Post by larsti on Jan 26, 2018 21:46:39 GMT
Well I missed everything that has happened up until now Serrakunda, but have updated myself......I hope you get the transfer!
Larsti x
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Post by moo on Jan 27, 2018 7:06:03 GMT
Not at all surprised your other counterpart is off too! ....
So glad an opening has occurred so quickly, I know you thought a simba friendly hols & 'perks' like position might be a while.. fingers crossed ... If it is a good match for you I am sure your talents will finally be realised & totally appreciated at last! Xx
Hurrah! Yet another to visit! & this time vaguely in our neck of the woods !  .....
Xxx Good Luck For The Interview xxx Keep us posted xxxx
Xxx moo xx
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Post by serrakunda on Jan 31, 2018 17:46:18 GMT
absolutely gutted,
I was the only applicant, the job is mine - if I go full time. Just can't do it, hard enough doing three days
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Post by moo on Jan 31, 2018 19:10:39 GMT
Tuff break.... so infuriating xxx
Hang in the perfect job move is out therexxx
Xx moo xx
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