Post by runmum on Oct 6, 2017 11:42:54 GMT
Monkey Boy has struggled with transition to secondary. Fine at school, difficult at home. Had just started to chill a bit when RunDad has to go abroad for 4 days. I talked to MB and JD about it on Wednesday. MB says great I hate Dad he's mean why did you ever marry him. However I suspect he is worried that Dad might have had enough and might not come back so we are getting all the behaviours you would expect.
This morning was particularly vile. DH has not even gone away yet. MB woke at 6 and called out but I was in the shower and so did not hear. DH went in and said Mum's just in the shower she will be with you as soon as she can. 5 mins later I go into MB "morning Dad says you called out for me. Sorry I was in the sh.." "Took your time you f***ing b**ch get my f***ing breakfast" "Looks like you're hungry and tired and that's making you feel angry with me for not hearing you. It's not ok to swear at me but it's going to be great when you can.." "Just get the f***ing breakfast b****" Whilst I was getting breakfast he went into JDs room and ripped up some pictures JD had drawn that he was very proud of and smashed one of his football trophies. I managed to calm JD which is a miracle. "I wonder if school is really hard perhaps you feel like you're not good at stuff that would be hard thing to feel" Loads more swearing "Get me dressed you f***ing b**ch or I will miss the bus" So it went on for an hour. The I get called from JD on the bus who was struggling not to hit MB who was being very provocative. I do a 20 minute phone counselling session. Then get a text "I am calm Mum. I am at the back as there are no year 10's or 11's today." Phew!
Obviously I can't let it go so I've called a friend and arranged to go round this afternoon with MB to visit their dog with a new dog toy and whilst MB plays with the dog I will have to talk to him about his behaviour and ask him what is going to help him stop which of course he will have no idea about so I will then make some suggestions. I think i need to get school onside bigging him up a bit as he is 6 years behind his peers so he must feel pretty rubbish about himself at school. It's a very pastoral school but wherever you go there are always one or two teachers who don't get it. I can see what's behind the 10 steps back - Dad going away for a few days and school being very stressful and not great for the self esteem
So this is a story of 10 steps back with MB and 4 or 5 forward with JD. So knackered but feeling like perseverance yields a harvest of sorts as long as you keep sowing the seed.
This morning was particularly vile. DH has not even gone away yet. MB woke at 6 and called out but I was in the shower and so did not hear. DH went in and said Mum's just in the shower she will be with you as soon as she can. 5 mins later I go into MB "morning Dad says you called out for me. Sorry I was in the sh.." "Took your time you f***ing b**ch get my f***ing breakfast" "Looks like you're hungry and tired and that's making you feel angry with me for not hearing you. It's not ok to swear at me but it's going to be great when you can.." "Just get the f***ing breakfast b****" Whilst I was getting breakfast he went into JDs room and ripped up some pictures JD had drawn that he was very proud of and smashed one of his football trophies. I managed to calm JD which is a miracle. "I wonder if school is really hard perhaps you feel like you're not good at stuff that would be hard thing to feel" Loads more swearing "Get me dressed you f***ing b**ch or I will miss the bus" So it went on for an hour. The I get called from JD on the bus who was struggling not to hit MB who was being very provocative. I do a 20 minute phone counselling session. Then get a text "I am calm Mum. I am at the back as there are no year 10's or 11's today." Phew!
Obviously I can't let it go so I've called a friend and arranged to go round this afternoon with MB to visit their dog with a new dog toy and whilst MB plays with the dog I will have to talk to him about his behaviour and ask him what is going to help him stop which of course he will have no idea about so I will then make some suggestions. I think i need to get school onside bigging him up a bit as he is 6 years behind his peers so he must feel pretty rubbish about himself at school. It's a very pastoral school but wherever you go there are always one or two teachers who don't get it. I can see what's behind the 10 steps back - Dad going away for a few days and school being very stressful and not great for the self esteem
So this is a story of 10 steps back with MB and 4 or 5 forward with JD. So knackered but feeling like perseverance yields a harvest of sorts as long as you keep sowing the seed.