angry, sad, hurting...

Poor Peewit, that was a rough introduction to other peoples' misconceptions.

Our children wanted to take their lifestory books into school when they were a little older than Peewit.
What was in those books was pretty fierce stuff, and not really suitable for general consumption.
One teacher was forewarned, and carefully chose a double spread for the class to look at and talk about.

The second teacher got a 20 minute forewarning, and she headed it off altogether by discussing the book with DS in the library.
I am not sure how she handled the matter in the classroom, but he would not have been satisfied with nothing said in class.

Both children were always clear that they had been adopted, but they came to us aged 5 and 6. Peewit has had longer with you, and this is a nasty surprise.
Our school knew they were adopted, and so did many of the other children and parents. We took the tack that they were extra lucky because they had been chosen.
There were foster children in the school too, so more general purpose work was done with the school about appropriate talk and respect.
Our DS was helped by a worker from the post adoption support team who came into school and talked to the staff.

I hope you have sorted it out with school and Peewit is feeling a bit calmer today.
You are, after all, his real mum, whatever the kids at school say.

Thanks for the replies, things have had to be put on hold as I have been under the weather with a virus so not up to tacking school. However today Peewit came home with similar stories about kids basically teasing or taunting him about the fact I was not his real mum, and equally upset. I have emailed the school and suggest we have a meeting about how to tackle it. I feel sad for him that he has to hear it and apparently from two of his actual best friends.


Ultimately he has to be able to handle his life story, but this is so young, he is so unprepared both emotionally and even in his understanding of what adoption actually means. He tells me his whole class know he is adopted and he tells me even the names of his birth mum and dad, I can only assume he has somehow blurted them out.

So unfair that he has to go through this carp.

Despite two meetings...Peewit came home again today and said two girls called him 'adopted, adopted, adopted' in what sounded like a taunting bullying manner. Also other stuff aimed at him. I feel furious and have sent an email asking for those girls to be spoken too and for the school to intervene. Its a total shock to me that 7 year old would behave like this.

I feel so isolated, our hitherto supportive school contact has left, our therapist is sick,  and no one seems to feel Peewits pain!

Sorry for brief rant, just feel depressed by the situation.

This is more about bullying than adoption. Sounds like the school just aren't tackling it. Unfortunately children will pick on the vulnerability others have. I've dealt with a child at school recently who gets teased for his "hairline". He actually has a cool hair style but he is emotional and sensitive so some other kids play on his perceived weakness.

I'd tackle it by stressing the "b" word. No school likes to think bullying is going on and actually they have to record incidents of it. This makes it a wider issue than Peewit's sensitivity over his adoptive status. I wonder if you know any other parents whose childen might get bullied too? Strength in numbers.

Dealing with his feelings about it is hard - more long term. He's very young but does he know any positive strategies he can use when other children upset him?