|
Post by topcat on Mar 30, 2017 11:25:20 GMT
Brains has exceeded recent expectations and not only managed 2 weeks without a melt down but stepped back from an imminent one a number of times.
The change is staggering. Of course DH and I remain battle weary, skeptical and hyper vigilant and BB is all over the place trying to work out what happens now but we have moved away from crisis and that's quite an achievement for all of us.
|
|
|
Post by esty on Mar 30, 2017 11:52:54 GMT
That's amazing!
|
|
|
Post by esty on Mar 30, 2017 11:53:14 GMT
Well done!
|
|
|
Post by flutterby on Mar 30, 2017 13:59:10 GMT
Fantastic news! I was wondering how you were doing.
|
|
|
Post by serrakunda on Mar 30, 2017 18:00:37 GMT
long may it last!
|
|
|
Post by damson on Mar 31, 2017 16:32:54 GMT
Are you still on constant alert for the next meltdown? May the next one be smaller, shorter, shallower and you recover faster.
|
|
|
Post by leo on Mar 31, 2017 19:54:02 GMT
That's amazing, well done. Hope the school holidays help to calm the situation further so you can all begin to unwind from the high tension levels.
|
|
|
Post by rosie on Mar 31, 2017 21:38:22 GMT
That's good news ! hope things remain calm.
|
|
|
Post by esty on Apr 1, 2017 7:00:29 GMT
What do you think has done it Topcat?
|
|
|
Post by topcat on Apr 2, 2017 20:24:42 GMT
Do you know what Esty, I think it was holding firm against all the odds, literally withstanding everything he could throw at us and not giving an inch. Looking back it was positively terrifying but I think when he gets close he sees that too and there's a certain "oh I can't be bothered to try all that again". Also, in the process we have become more confident and less nervous of an outburst. Kids are like animals and sense your mood so instinctively but when Brains threatened "to get angry" (you won't like me when I'm angry...no he didn't actually say that!!!) last time I just told him he was allowed to get angry, we all get angry, it's his choice how he behaves when he's angry and he knows the consequences.
I think it helped when I was super honest with him about 'the strategy', when I really thought all was practically lost, when I told him that we were not going to have him taken away by social workers (his idea) and we were going to work with him so he could cope with the strategy - get through the consequence of a day's ban every time he hit or hurt and back onto his tablet(!), encouraging any sign that he was controlling himself and then backing off the moment he looked like wanting control again.
The holiday will be a big test because it's a complete change of routine and it is an automatic raise in sibling time and BB's growing and changing, withdrawing play time, has been a major trigger. His teacher is changing at school next term (grrr rumble grumble gnash gnash) and there was a return to some major nastiness to me and BB directly on our return home from school at the end of term. I am determined, however, that when this happens and I know it will be related to insecurities and worries, I will still hold firm on the expected behaviours at home. Brains cannot handle unconditional love, he does not trust it and I think he became 'drunk' on it. I am trying to be very careful to link any rewards or nice things with clear reasons and also make sure he sees that we treat BB in the same way. (She is another story)...yes Damson, very much on alert but cautiously allowing a chink of optimism.
|
|
|
Post by milly on Apr 4, 2017 7:27:46 GMT
That sounds amazing. Wishing you the strength and determination to keep it up through the holidays.
|
|