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Post by flossie on Sept 12, 2016 17:01:25 GMT
Lola is a week into year one and has always struggled with transitions. This morning she became disregulated when I told her she couldn't take a toy into the classroom with her, I said I would take it home and bring it back when I collected her. She ran off and refused to engage with me. Eventually I herded her near the door and managed to get her in. By this point she was sobbing, clinging to me and begging me not to leave her.... I cuddled for probably a couple of minutes then teacher came over and chatted to her, as soon as she was distracted enough I left. When I collected her this afternoon teacher said she'd been absolutely fine and that I should keep goodbyes short and sweet. I feel like I need some stock phrases to use in explanation as to why this is not good for Lola, I only ever think of what I should have said afterwards..... Teacher has had attachment training and has been given written info but not sure she gets it. Meanwhile Lola has had two massive meltdowns since leaving school and is very far from absolutely fine'. She didn't cry tears for the first two years she was with us and I'm reluctant to ignore them now!
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Post by sooz on Sept 12, 2016 17:48:59 GMT
If the school has a senco, I'd have a word and come up with an exit strategy for Lola. Get it written down.
I had lots of this kind of stuff, starting at nursery. Right up until year 3 I was going in every morning and we had a little ritual. School tried, subtly, to break this but I wasn't having it. Now I can just drop at the gate and go.
Small steps.....xxx
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Post by flossie on Sept 12, 2016 18:14:03 GMT
Thanks sooz, can I ask what kind of things an exit strategy involves? There is a senco but there seems to be a reluctance for her to be involved with lola, probably because she is fine!!
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Post by sooz on Sept 12, 2016 20:32:55 GMT
Whatever you feel is needed. I guess if you say, look she's not coping too well, and obviously we all want her to be eventually comfortable to be left at the door, we just need to come up with a plan. See what the senco suggests first, she may have some good ideas. TA used to get things ready for snooz to help her take to the office for example, he loved having that job. What kind of things does Lola like? Could she be given a task?
We had things like, three kisses on each cheek then high five and in the door.....
It could be two steps forward, one back, for a while. Xx
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Post by daffin on Sept 13, 2016 6:06:16 GMT
Monkey Boy's school thinks he's fine, too. It's very frustrating - and lonely!
Can you give Lola an attachment object to show that you are with her/ thinking of her during the school day?
I laminated a passport photo of me and another of DH, punched a hole in the corner of each and attached them to MBs school bag with a key ring. He was in Reception at the time and unaware of being thought ridiculous by other kids. He's acutely aware of that now. Anyway, it seemed to make a big difference.
Another thing you could ask the class teacher, or TA, is whether you could send Lola a text message during the day, which they could read her/ show her. When MB isn't with me (but not at school, because he's 'fine' and they are unhelpful!) I send photos of something that I know MB will be interested and a little text saying 'I love you even when I can't see you. I think of you even when you're not here with me. I saw this robot toy in a shop window and I knew you'd love to see it too. See you at 6.00. Lots of live Mummy xxx' or similar....
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