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Post by spideress on Jun 23, 2016 15:10:34 GMT
I am not sure how "well" this post will "work" or how useful it might be but I am sure we have a wealth of personal experience from Adopters on here who have children who have a specific diagnosis of various things OR who have taken children on whose parents have been known to have various things like depression etc
My main question at the moment is has anyone taken on a child whose father has schizophrenia? If so do you know what implications that might have for your child...are they more likely to be schizophrenic etc?
There are other things on the "matching criteria" which we all have to tick yes/no/will discuss things like:
Autistic Spectrum Disorder Foetal alcohol syndrome Hepatitis HIV etc
I appreciate that there are "gradings/levels of severity of various disorders but I thought it might be useful at "prospective adopter stage" to hear from anyone who has experience of taking on a child with such things as listed on broad matching criteria or who have birth parents of their child with such things to see what type of things to "expect"
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Post by moo on Jun 23, 2016 18:50:53 GMT
Great idea for those awaiting a link to get hands on input from adopters 'living' it.....
Sorry to say my boys' cpr hadn't identified any on your list....
What it did have however was 'language' alluding to hyperactivity, eating disorder, attachment ?? & chaotic early home experiences....
We are all very aware of what these mean as seasoned adopters but those seeking approval will not understand the 'code wording!? ' so good to check out our understanding of what they really are saying iykwim...
Look forward to reading other's experiences.......
Xx moo xx
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Post by daffin on Jun 24, 2016 5:36:25 GMT
We read up on the heritability of various mental health problems while we were waiting for a match. As far as I remember the heritability of schizophrenia is about 18% but doubles if both birth parents have it. For severe personality disorders the percentage is between 20 and 30%. For most mental health problems, environmental factors are much more important - i.e. trauma and neglect. I guess the combination of having risk factors including both heritable mental disorders plus trauma and neglect is where many adoptive parents end up - and where you have to make some difficult decisions about the risks you feel you can take.
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tootsie
New Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 33
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Post by tootsie on Jun 25, 2016 19:43:52 GMT
Hi Spider  I found it helpful to think in terms of would we cope with 'worst case scenario'. So, the chances are a child with a birth father who has schizophrenia may well not inherit the condition as that is statistically more likely, however there is a smaller possibility that the child could inherit the condition. Forget best case and think 'worst case'.... do you think you could cope? Your existing child could cope? I'm not sure that's been at all helpful but that's how we approached things! Good luck x
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Post by kstar on Jun 25, 2016 22:22:22 GMT
Starlet has a question mark over FASD when she came at age 6. In her case, the only signs I have really seen are:
- some minor issues with gross and fine motor skills. She couldn't throw or catch a ball at all, couldn't swim and her penmanship was truly dreadful - huge issues with Maths. She couldn't sequence the numbers 1-10 and had no concept at all of money, time, dates etc - aggressive outbursts out of nowhere and problems expressing emotions
The problem is it's very difficult to separate these things out from attachment, neglect or missed schooling.
Three years on, Starlet swims for our local swimming club, has graded twice in the four months she's been doing karate, plays for the school netball team. She was one of the first in her class to receive her "pen license" because of the consistency of her handwriting. She is almost back to age appropriate Maths skills. With the introduction of sensory techniques, the violence has dropped dramatically and her concentration has improved.
I know the future could be very different, and that puberty is often a trigger for symptoms and behaviours in FASD but I'm glad I didn't let the question mark put me off. Incidentally, it's also a big tick in favour of older child adoption, because I was able to weigh up what the actual problems were that had shown up (or in our case, really hadn't!) rather than just worrying about possibilities.
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Post by nzhb on Jun 30, 2016 18:59:45 GMT
Schizophrenia does have some links with some choromosomal abnormalities. If birth parent has this & schizophrenia, & ofpring has same chromosomal problem, then odds on for having schizophrenia must be increased. Although not fully understood many of the more 'severe & enduring' mental illnesses are often found more than once in a family tree.
Trouble is - the average onset of schizophrenia is 18-19 years of age & often no way of knowing before then.
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Post by nzhb on Jun 30, 2016 21:06:55 GMT
Agree - not all things are apparent when you are matched for a child. We ticked many things on form E that we didn't want to deal with. So far, 11 years in,we are having to deal with 3 incurable conditions that we had previously said no to. At time of placement, none of the conditions were evident.
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Post by imp on Jul 2, 2016 9:37:28 GMT
Very interesting post.
From the 'other side' we as FCs have moved children on who have had potential horrendous backgrounds. It must be so difficult to read and then get your head around all the ---what ifs, especially when looking at children under two who 'doing well---at the moment' !
Does this make you hyper vigilant as the child develops, not knowing what is 'normal' for that age and what should cause concern?
Certainly as a FC I am guilty of watching for anything I consider 'unusual' because I don't want to fail the child or the potential adopters by missing something---especially as I know so much of their prebirth/early days history and have met the parent/s
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Post by spideress on Jul 15, 2016 8:49:13 GMT
Very interesting post. From the 'other side' we as FCs have moved children on who have had potential horrendous backgrounds. It must be so difficult to read and then get your head around all the ---what ifs, especially when looking at children under two who 'doing well---at the moment' ! Does this make you hyper vigilant as the child develops, not knowing what is 'normal' for that age and what should cause concern? Certainly as a FC I am guilty of watching for anything I consider 'unusual' because I don't want to fail the child or the potential adopters by missing something---especially as I know so much of their prebirth/early days history and have met the parent/s Since Incy is the only child and we have not really been "around" other children too closely to know what is "normal" for the age etc I tend to try to look at other children about the same size in places like parks and on the beach and assume that is "normal" an wish Incy would just sit nicely and build a few sandcastles etc! I think at first we hoped that he would "catch up" and after a few years be as near "normal child" as he would have been without his history but now, nearly 3 years in we are thinking that no matter what we or anyone else does as "input" to him makes any real long term difference and so we have lowered our expectations and just have the base hope that one day he will get through it enough to at least hold down a job, be able to get married and live independently etc. I generally take the advice of school now since they deal with all the age ranges and some have children of their own who are for eg aged 3 and they often tell me that Incy in many ways is like their own 3 year old child. Mostly they seem to think he functions generally as a 3 or 4 year old but in a 7 year old body which makes sense since he "lost" his first 3 years with his birth family. I have read all too often though, and know some adopters personally (including us) whose child has not "presented" with a lot of their "stuff" until wayyyy after they have been settled in their new "forever home" so even a child who appears "straight forward" may turn out to be more complex than expected. I might find that if we get accepted for a 2nd child who is already presenting as "complex" they may turn out in the long term less complex than Incy, maybe it works in reverse!
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Post by spideress on Jul 19, 2016 22:32:18 GMT
For anyone who knows more about autism than I do (which would not be hard as I only really know about a friend's children who have Aspergers). If a 7 year old sibling is diagnosed with autism (not sure what age diagnosed) and a 4 year old sibling is not listed as having autism.........is there an increased chance of the 4 year old being diagnosed with autism in years to come or would that child already have been assessed by that age to rule it out?
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Post by gilreth on Jul 20, 2016 14:43:28 GMT
Autism diagnosis before 5 is different to 5+. Only know this as one of Sqk's school friends is on route to diagnosis and it has been slowed down till he turns 5 in August when he will hit more of the tick boxes. My own experience in our family is that out of 3 siblings one is diagnosed autistic (my brother) and I almost certainly would be diagnosed on the spectrum somewhere but the sibling between us is fine. So yes it can run in families but not definite and if they are not worried about child at 4 then probably not too likely - Sqk's friend was picked up due to nursery issues before he turned 4.
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Post by nzhb on Jul 20, 2016 23:44:13 GMT
Interesting. My AD wasn't diagnosed until aged 13...... Not always easy to diagnose, esp in girls.
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Post by bumbleb33 on Nov 8, 2016 15:16:57 GMT
Starlet has a question mark over FASD when she came at age 6. In her case, the only signs I have really seen are: - some minor issues with gross and fine motor skills. She couldn't throw or catch a ball at all, couldn't swim and her penmanship was truly dreadful - huge issues with Maths. She couldn't sequence the numbers 1-10 and had no concept at all of money, time, dates etc - aggressive outbursts out of nowhere and problems expressing emotions The problem is it's very difficult to separate these things out from attachment, neglect or missed schooling. Three years on, Starlet swims for our local swimming club, has graded twice in the four months she's been doing karate, plays for the school netball team. She was one of the first in her class to receive her "pen license" because of the consistency of her handwriting. She is almost back to age appropriate Maths skills. With the introduction of sensory techniques, the violence has dropped dramatically and her concentration has improved. I know the future could be very different, and that puberty is often a trigger for symptoms and behaviours in FASD but I'm glad I didn't let the question mark put me off. Incidentally, it's also a big tick in favour of older child adoption, because I was able to weigh up what the actual problems were that had shown up (or in our case, really hadn't!) rather than just worrying about possibilities. Hi Kstar, this sounds really encouraging. If you have some time could you please message me about the sensory techniques that you use? Thank you x
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