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Post by taliesin on Sept 11, 2013 16:20:30 GMT
So I'm on a 1-woman crusade to build up some useful threads for us pre-placement souls - at least, I hope useful for some  Met one of my rugrats BD today.....we've been 'linked' (eh, yep think that must have happened!), MP eo Nov....so I'm assuming from some comments that its bit unusual to meet BD now...FC is next week; BM not playing with SW & the other BD also playing with BM but not SW! We got (hopefully) all the positives we wanted from it; so did he I think - hope its helped him.... Can see pink looks like him....and I like his humour, very similar and 'off-the-wall' like mine...it filled some history gaps but tbh, not much....but it's for her, over the coming years and later in life. SW gave us bag of pressies he's given pink...actually allowed us to bring home today?! That was weird...have made up memory box for them as completely unsuitable for now...but I hope my pink will appreciate we wrapped them up and 'keepsaked' them for her... Feel so, so sorry for him....at that meeting I would have agreed to any contact whatsoever...thankfully more experienced and less gullible/emotional SW was in hand! Any newbies meeting BPs...I hope if goes as well as this one did; ask everything you can think off even if feel daft; remember - its NOT about you, it's about your LO and what they will need in future....plus hopefully I'll be less of a bad guy when they're teenagers  !! |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2013 17:28:41 GMT
Great to hear it went so well Tali. At least when you talk about him in the future you can picture him in your head as a real person and that helps so much more than a photo on it's own.
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Post by taliesin on Sept 11, 2013 17:44:53 GMT
Yeah cheers ladies; very sad but it did help actually, looking at him and trying to pick out likenesses from her pics...dont know why that was so important - think its so I can let her know she's got her dads teeth of something! Unlikely BM and other BD will meet....so this felt even more important - and sad, how much he cares  Anyway - weird they gave us his pressies?? I thought so anyway, but that's just me, lol!! |
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Post by knight on Sept 11, 2013 19:31:05 GMT
Hi Tali Ahh, that sounds like it went really well; when my time comes, I'm dreading it - just because I think that generally, it's often just such a sad situation surrounding the child/ren coming into care, so you feel for the BPs. Did you manage to get a photo together for the memory box? Glad it went well. Exciting times coming your way sooooon.  Knight x |
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Post by mr.vml3m on Sept 11, 2013 20:13:56 GMT
I remember dreading meeting BM, but when it came down to it I got some useful info about meaning of names and I could see some likeness in my two.
In the end, I actually felt sorry for her, in a way.
But, I did it for my girls so in years to come I can at least say I met her.
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Post by taliesin on Sept 11, 2013 20:26:07 GMT
Thanks Knight....it was emotional....
And yes had pic with him and he's agreed to send more pics of family so we can include in her family tree...
It's hard to explain this - but, we'd 'got over' the fact we were adopting so long ago, it's been a long, long time since we thought about the fact we would be parenting someone else's child on anything other than a practical level - but today I suppose because it all started to be real and not theory, it was more emotional and just made me feel so sad...privileged, despite the parents situ...I still feel really, really sad tbh...
I so want to meet BM...that's going to be harder but doubtful shell meet us......
Not really excited about where we are, at the moment - but I am glad we've still got another 2 months to get ready!!
Xx
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Post by taliesin on Sept 11, 2013 20:34:27 GMT
Hi VM...sorry, started my last post as you must have been posting!! Absolutely - that's what's driven us, so we can tell as much as we can, include small details in 'her story' - and I genuinely think its one of the most important things for us, our LO and not just the BF... xx |
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Post by annie70 on Sept 12, 2013 15:11:54 GMT
hi Tali - make that a 2-woman crusade So pleased that your BD meeting went well and I hope it helped with your feeling towards pink? Ax |
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Post by taliesin on Sept 12, 2013 16:12:06 GMT
Yep Annie - it did!!!! Strange how much difference it made....but it really helped seeing her BD - and to top it all, we had a 5-min DVD of them both...that completely helped!!!
Cant pretend Ive fallen in love or anything like that - but I do feel committed to these 2 and want to keep them safe and look after them....
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Post by annie70 on Sept 12, 2013 16:59:52 GMT
Oh Tali that's great So pleased for you Ax |
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Post by taliesin on Sept 12, 2013 18:09:19 GMT
Glad you get it....'cos i certainly didnt understand myself yesterday!!!!
But you're right - I spent all night weepy and just feeling so desperatly sad for BD.....
Anyhoo........back to rational thoughts today!! xx
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Post by daisy1985 on Sept 12, 2013 22:13:59 GMT
Hi tali
3 woman crusade now, Mp next fri for us, and waiting to hear from sw if BPs will meet us for LOs sake (2 blue ages 2 and 3)
Xx
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Post by taliesin on Sept 12, 2013 22:21:20 GMT
Ah Daisy.....you'll have your hands full too !!! Hope they will meet with you....its always documented how valuable it is for LO's...but I think it's also important for us at this stage....I found it so anyway. When do you expect intros to start? xx |
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Post by daisy1985 on Sept 13, 2013 5:17:30 GMT
Hi tali
MP 20th
Intros start 30th
Expected move in date 9th
Xx
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Post by mudlark on Sept 13, 2013 7:45:29 GMT
Joining in the crusade!
We have MP 25th intros start on the 9th somewhere in the middle of intro's we are meeting BM and BD - I am struggling to imagine what that meeting will be like and what we can say to them, they are very young and are opposed to the adoption it could be very difficult - do the social workers end the meeting if things become too emotional.
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Post by peartree on Sept 13, 2013 7:50:25 GMT
Well done
It's never an easy thing courage wise
We met blossoms bf
He looks so like her
The overwhelming sense of helplessness from him was my mAin thought coming away
Of all the characters in blossoms past I felt most for him
He's been most regretful etc
Importantly as well he tried the most with sending us up to date pictures
Otherwise
The people in their family books never age..... It gets important as they get older
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Post by annie70 on Sept 13, 2013 8:08:45 GMT
Hi Daisy and Mudlark - glad to have some more company on the approved prospectives... although you and Tali are a couple of months ahead of us it will be good to share in your journeys...
Peartree - what is your avatar? It is an elderly Batcat? :0
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Post by queenie on Sept 13, 2013 9:46:33 GMT
It is always strange to meet any birth relatives, it brings up such an enormous range of emotions. But ultimately it will help your children to know that you have met BPs and that is the most important thing.
looking forward to hearing more of your journey
Queenie
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Post by taliesin on Sept 13, 2013 12:18:00 GMT
Mudlark.....the SW should 'chair' the meeting in an informal way; she should speak with them beforehand and put the 'boundaries' in place and if there are issues then end the meeting.... Be prepared that if they do turn up, you may find out very little; but even if ALL you achieve is getting a picture at the end you can show your LO, then that could be priceless to your LO for the rest of their life. Go in with low expectations is my motto....always end up more positive that way Really hope they do attend.... |
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