Matching Panel for Incy Tomorrow

We think his behaviour may be around all the changes he has had recently.  He has not been told about us yet (I assume they cannot tell him until after MP) though he knows they are looking for a mummy/daddy for him and are "this" close to finding one and will come back and tell him when they have them (he agreed that would be ok  )

Starting school in and of itself is a big change plus he is just about getting out of pull-ups by day so being allowed in the toilet where there are sinks and taps and unsecured toilet rolls seems to be proving just TOO tempting! He has not really ever been allowed in toilets alone before so I think a lot of this initial stuff is just experimental.  He has also seen a boy in his foster home and who he was close friends with move into adoptive placement in July and a girl in his foster home has just moved into an adoptive placement and on the day she left he was particularly "naughty" and bit 3 separate children because they had toys he wanted and would not share etc he also hit a little girl but that tale came back third party so the reason is not known.  We appreciate this extra time we have to wait is in his best interests and of course if it is in his best interests then long term that is in our best interests as well as it should make for a smoother transition but I do feel a bit like a cat on a hot tin roof as I was all geared up for meeting him next week and now have to wait nearly a month instead!

Good luck spideress - you will be absolutely fine I am sure... I spoke to someone who sits on a panel recently and he said that the only reason they ever turn down a match is lack of preparation - usually that the adoptive parents have not considered the issues a child may present and need to go away and do some more prep - and occasionally that the SWs have not prepared the child well enough or thought about their needs for intro period...

Neither of these apply to you - the fact that you are happy to wait and understand it is in Incy's best interests shows you have really put yourself in his shoes and understand his needs - putting them first.
The fact that SWs are putting intros back in favour of seeking additional advice / support is positive too... and may mean you get more support in the long run.

So get some sleep

Let us know how you go Ax

Hope all goes well Spideress. Sorry to hijack a little bit but I'm surprised about how quickly people are starting intros after MP. Early November sound standard to me because in our LA we have to wait 3 weeks to get ratification from the agency decision maker before Intros can start.

We normally have to wait 10 days for the ratification letter but his FC wanted to have half term off as a family and as a holiday as they have not had a half term with no foster children in their care for years.  As a result his intros were brought forward (as always things can be done if it suits the agency.........had we dare suggest such a thing the answer would be a resounding "no way he wont have enough time to be prepared").  They had agreed with the agency decision maker that our case would be looked at as priority so that intros could start on 17th.

Initially we had thought early November would be the likely time as they were initially talking about delaying intros so he could complete the first school term so we had "prepared" for that timescale but then got all excited when they brought it forward so now we just need to settle back into the original idea and be patient a bit longer.  It is all for the best for Incy and that, in the long run, is all for the best for us and for us all as a family.