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Post by sooz on Feb 11, 2016 11:19:10 GMT
ok so he's asd.....but this week I've been a bit upset about varying stuff. Normally I'd hold it in or hide it but Snooz finds it hard to cope with big feelings in himself, so I let it out.
im not talking howling but I cried and I told him why I was sad and that I'd feel better soon.
he made me a cup of tea and switched the tv over from kids to eastenders so I could put my feet up and watch 'my programme' . Cue more tears!
not bad for a 9 year old boy with additional needs!!
ps, Snooz is so cautious and careful about stuff I'm happy to let him use the kettle, I know not all kids would be so aware of dangers....
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Post by mudlark on Feb 11, 2016 13:38:00 GMT
That has made me cry.....what a lovely post...what a lovely mum and son...precious moments....
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Post by serrakunda on Feb 11, 2016 16:33:44 GMT
Oh bless him
Simba would never never never let me watch anything on TV
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Post by elderberry on Feb 11, 2016 17:09:50 GMT
Yeah. It has been a pleasure to me that DD has grown up a bit and now watches things that I don't find too unbearable. So we will watch "EastEnders" together, all the Saturday night fare on BBC1. It might not all be exactly what I would have chosen, but it's a huge improvement on "Bear Behaving Badly".
The rest of the time, though, I am relegated to my bedroom television (we live in a flat so it's only the next room).
When I cry in front of DD, which is not uncommon, she gets scared and shouts "crybaby" at me repeatedly. She isn't capable of doing anything aimed at making me feel better, though I sometimes see her trying very hard to get there.
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Post by sivier on Feb 11, 2016 22:12:46 GMT
How sweet and tender of him. x
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Post by milly on Feb 11, 2016 22:27:13 GMT
How lovely, and how wise of you to use your sadness to support his development.
One of my treasured memories is of dd1 aged 6 comforting me when my beloved cat died. I'm not known for crying much but I couldn't hide it then and dd's concern showed a side of her I wasn't sure she had.
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Post by sooz on Feb 12, 2016 11:18:49 GMT
Well it could have backfired!!
Snooz thumped someone yesterday and the head told me when I went to collect him. When he spotted me he just broke down sobbing and hugging me, which is unusual for him, he was beside himself.
Do you know what I did? After about five minutes I told him he had to stop! Doh!! I had to get him home and as he'd been in trouble I felt comforting him was not the appropriate thing to do just then.....what am I like? Talk about mixed messages.
Anyway, I took him home and we talked, he told me he was sad because of some things that had happened earlier in the week and my hospital appt. I reassured him, we hugged, I think I repaired it.
I think it was a positive thing (aside from the thumping) that he was letting out his feelings and he was actually able to tell me what was bothering him.
This week can do one!!
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Post by pluto on Feb 12, 2016 13:31:52 GMT
Why is it a mixed message? He cries and you feel it is not genuine so told him to stop. That's fine, otherwhise he might gone on for hours, he needs bounderies also when it comes to managing emotions.
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Post by corkwing on Feb 15, 2016 20:04:56 GMT
Hi, Sooz -
You know what? We've all been there! It's a problem with being such an amzing parent with incredibly high standards: sometimes you just don't meet them. But that's OK because your standards are WAY above "good enough" so if you don't quite get there sometimes, you're still doing an incredible amount!
Be proud of yourself that you've enabled him to be sad and to let it out, to trust you and feel secure enough to do that. That, in intself, shows exceptional parenting!
Go, Sooz!!!!!!!!
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