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Post by lemonade on Dec 27, 2015 15:28:23 GMT
Wanted some advice or maybe an ear. I probably know the answer really but here goes .... Rec'd a msg via social media from Bubbles (sort of boyf's mum) she stays over with him and his mum, according to B both boyf and mum suffer from schizophrenia and mum is quite needy etc etc. But it works both ways B gets what she wants a free place to stay, food, washing etc whilst if she was at home in her flat she would have to do it or not as the case usually is. Anyway this is the msg that came through ... From what I have heard about u both (I can only assume she is referring to me and DH by 'u both') off Bubbles not helping her in her times of need.treat her Like c**p.I do a better job than u ever had .
The reason for this msg  Spoke to B saying I had rec'd a msg off his mum, she said forward msg to her (tbh I think she wanted to check out what had been said by boyf mum) and then B said Oh, just ignore and block her so she can't send you anymore msgs!!!! |
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Post by milly on Dec 27, 2015 17:10:37 GMT
I think ignoring it is the best and most dignified response probably. Anything you say back could be twisted and will meet her need for a response.
I would probably be very straight with my dd though. As it suggests she has said things about you. But depends on your relationship with her.
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Post by lemonade on Dec 27, 2015 18:46:25 GMT
I think ignoring it is the best and most dignified response probably. Anything you say back could be twisted and will meet her need for a response. I would probably be very straight with my dd though. As it suggests she has said things about you. But depends on your relationship with her. Thanks Milly for your reply and yes I agree to ignore is the most sensible. Sadly part of dd problems is she twist reality to get sympathy. She sees concern as anger therefore in her mind feels she is always being mistreated.  I think it is called rewriting or twisting the past so yourself is shown whiter than white. We have talked at length about the truth verses fantasy but it sadly makes no difference. It is much more satisfying to play the victim. I think dd Boyf mum was messaging me because B was spending the day with us having an early Christmas celebration and boyf mum probably couldn't understand why she would want to, with us being such horrible parents and all  |
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Post by mrmlegal on Dec 27, 2015 20:16:49 GMT
I would also not dignify it with a reply. If you do, it will simply lead to further messages from time to time. She will get bored with messaging you if you never reply. Let's face it - you know the truth of the situation anyway and, I'm sure, you aren't really concerned what she thinks.
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Post by damson on Dec 27, 2015 21:18:09 GMT
It's a form of inverse flattery - you matter enough to have your name blackened  Block any further rubbish so you stay sane. xxx D |
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Post by jmk on Dec 28, 2015 13:49:36 GMT
In the words of the musical "let it go".
To do otherwise will only feed into whatever is going on and there is nothing to be gained from joining in. Don't fuel the fire. X
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Post by mrbop on Dec 30, 2015 12:45:55 GMT
Agreed, ignore and block: To paraphrase heavily it says behaving graciously (in all its forms) in the face of persecution and abuse heaps piles of burning coals on your accusers ;-)
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Post by caledonia on Jan 4, 2016 13:58:50 GMT
as others have said, let it go. You know what is right and true so don't let others bring you down.
Cale
x
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Post by lemonade on Jan 4, 2016 21:32:57 GMT
In the words of the musical "let it go". Thank you for your replies and support. B came to visit and I am not sure about 'let it go' JMK but I had to bite my tongue and 'hold it in' with some of the things B was saying about boyf mum ... who incidentally B won't be seeing boyf or mum again (so she says) having spent all of Christmas with them. B says it costs too much travelling to see them (she has to get a train they are about an hour away) and she says she ends up doing everything for them and can't see it going anywhere!!! So has finished with them - have heard that before. Sadly with a lot of our children / adults they are restless unsettled souls, moving around people looking for something, not finding it, then moving on.  |
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