patanya
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 50
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Post by patanya on Oct 5, 2013 22:02:47 GMT
Dear all,
I would like to get a list of advice, helpful hints to give to nurseries on how to help our Little ones settle and how to help when dealing with problems, etc.
I am happy to collate it all into one document.
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Post by Ad-minnie! on Oct 6, 2013 8:45:04 GMT
Sounds good patanya. Will have a think about some ideas. Hope some others come along and post too. x
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patanya
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 50
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Post by patanya on Oct 6, 2013 10:30:23 GMT
Well I will start-
Before starting at a nursery:
Check prior to starting how flexible they will be to your child's needs;
How much they know about attachment / settling of children who have been adopted;
What their policies are on supporting / caring for them when upset
How they deal with behaviour issues
Who will be their care worker - are they empathetic to our Los needs
How they encourage eating
How they manage toilet training etc
Read their OFSTED report
Talk to other parents who send their children there
Go for a visit on your own first to observe how staff interact / encourage the children
What info you are prepared / need to share about your child
How you will communicate about your LOs needs - we used a book to pass messages if their key worker had finished before we got there. But also need initially for regular discussion to ensure working together to make sure LO is happy.
Key issues to consider / need to explain to nursery / have info for
Explaining attachment issues - need for key figures in LOs life
Their upset will be greater at you leaving - fear of abandonment / not being wanted / being moved again
Why sticker charts etc are not appropriate
The low self esteem our LOs may have
The fight / flight mode when upset - methods of dealing / coping with
Will add more later
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 9:23:56 GMT
Would like to add that schools/nurseries should always use "adoptive children's parents surname", NOT BIRTH SURNAME, ie (known as .....) from the begining for security reasons and to prevent name changes after AO goes through.
(See Swimchic's recent post for reasons why this is important)
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patanya
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 50
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Post by patanya on Oct 11, 2013 21:02:28 GMT
More from me:
Consider what you will share regarding involvement with other agencies - medical etc
Decide for safety to opt out of photos of LO being taken
Discuss ways of dealing with videos / filming for nativity plays for other parent
Will add more if I think of any
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Post by sockthing on Oct 13, 2013 19:12:33 GMT
Hi patanya
Our PASW gave me a copy of the AUK leaflet "let's learn together". It's excellent - it's aimed at schools but I think could equally be useful for nurseries, as it explains very well about developmental trauma, self esteem issues, anxiety issues, attachment difficulties, developmental gaps, toxic stress. It has a whole section at the back about PACE style of teaching, some helpful stuff about reward and praise and not shaming, transitions and structure , positive ways to discipline Etc. Etc
it has a worksheet at the back that a parent can fill in and give to the teacher, which gives the parent a chance to explain their child's individual difficulties, needs and strengths.
I highly recommend it.
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