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Post by bop on Aug 5, 2015 19:45:08 GMT
We do - the stress is awful....
You will get through this - in the meantime try to find some things that will build you up - for me its taking the time out for long walks, mindfulness, dancing, running, prayer.... but I'm sure your list will be quite different....
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Post by nancydanfan on Aug 6, 2015 7:29:19 GMT
I would be careful of going down the section 20 route. We did this with dd and I'm sure her false allegations were her revenge on us for doing so. At the time it felt the lesser of the 2 evils as we were worried about the company she was keeping.
We supposedly still had parental responsibility but in practice this counted for nothing. Dd decided she did not want us at any reviews and so SS kept us away. I did not feel the IRO was independent, but simply an extension of SS. A student SW a few years older than dd was responsible for her case, and her supervisor was a nightmare. SS never took time to speak to us about our family situation but wrote reports filled with inaccuracies.
They clearly listened to dd who told them a pack of lies which they believed and which led to a court case. A swift not guilty verdict was passed.
If your dd loves attention , is a great actress , has no empathy or conscience sadly your bs and husband could end up in the firing line. We thought our case would be dropped, dds claims did not hold water but it wasn't.
If I could go back again ,knowing what I know now, I would have protected the majority of our family, reported dd to police every time she went missing, left them to decide if and when to involve SS. I would have texted my dd trying to reason and telling her I loved her. Dd would have over time established her character and would have had less chance of getting away with her manipulation and lying.
SS in our case were concerned with avoiding case loads, writing reports quickly without seeking evidence, placating dd and scapegoating us. Our SWs didn't even waste their energy trying to pretend they cared.
If you have any information on the b mum possibly being a danger, or her associates being a danger email these to police and someone high up in Children's services and make sure you get read receipts. Consider getting your MP involved
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redbush
New Member
Married Adopter
Posts: 37
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Post by redbush on Sept 7, 2015 9:41:29 GMT
Thanks everyone. Well it has finally happened. After a nightmare couple of months, she stayed out all night at the weekend, and her BM lied saying she hadn't seen her. She had in fact been there all day and all night. We tried to bring her home yesterday but she didn't want to come. The police brought her home, and she walked in the house saying to me "you are so fecking dead" and proceeded to smash the house up. Long story short - we told police and social services we were taking her back to BM and they can find her alternative accommodation in the morning. I was heart broken as she took a few things in a bag and went to her BMs house without a backward glance. trying to be postive, like Bop, and feel that this may well be the best thing for the rest of us, and knowing that we have done everying we can to give her a good start in life.
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Post by serrakunda on Sept 7, 2015 10:04:52 GMT
Redbush
I am so sorry that its come to this. You have done everything you could
((((redbush))))
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Post by bop on Sept 7, 2015 11:55:18 GMT
((Hugs))
There are no easy answers but for now take some time to look after yourselves...
Bop
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Post by damson on Sept 7, 2015 13:25:35 GMT
((((Redbush, DH and DS)))) What a ghastly departure. I hope that you have support to pick up the pieces in your home and help make it a calm place.
Let SS do the worrying now, as it is out of your hands for a while.
Xxx Damson
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Post by damson on Sept 7, 2015 20:29:23 GMT
And that was not a 'like' it was a misfire on an android phone!
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Post by homebird on Sept 8, 2015 8:17:30 GMT
Such a horrible time for your family. As Damson said,let SS deal with things for now, there's nothing you can do, its a situation that has to run its course.
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Post by esty on Sept 21, 2015 21:05:17 GMT
Redbush- it sounds a nightmare and SS have caused most of it. Very very sad. Though regrouping and doing things for yourselves must happen now. Supportive thoughts being sent your way.
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