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Post by corkwing on Jun 8, 2015 14:20:45 GMT
'All They Need is Love' is the new recruitment campaign being run by Tameside Council's fostering team. www.tameside.gov.uk/pressrelease/fosteringfortnightTo me, it devalues the amazing work that foster carers do and the broad range of qualities that they need. It demeans the children in foster care, trivialising the damage that's been done, their huge needs and their great courage and resilience. Might just be me, though... |
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Post by serrakunda on Jun 8, 2015 14:23:42 GMT
Could be just you
but its not
really unhelpful
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Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 8, 2015 14:35:17 GMT
hmm, just love, its that simple then is it?! I feel really valued for the all the sleepless nights, hospital visits, contact sessions, sw vsits, carp from SS, adoption introductions, working with birth families to rehabilitate families, encouraggin and mentoring mums and babies etc. if only i'd known that love was all they needed i'd have saved so much time and effort!  |
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Post by serrakunda on Jun 8, 2015 15:42:47 GMT
Lobs
Did you see the BBC2 programme last night about FC?
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Post by damson on Jun 8, 2015 16:47:36 GMT
They clearly have short memories - do you remember 'Love is not enough?' about adoption?
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Post by kstar on Jun 8, 2015 20:29:04 GMT
I actually had to walk away from one of the other mums in the park a few months ago - she was talking about an 11 yr old boy who has been going to the youth group at their church with his foster carers. She said she felt so sorry for him and just wanted to take him home because.., (you've guessed it)... He just needs someone to love him. I tried to explain how much more complex it was than that, but she just wouldn't have it - she was right, children just need to be loved.
People really have no idea.
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Post by mudlark on Jun 8, 2015 21:30:18 GMT
Love eventually comes... probably 5th on the list?
1. Safety
2. Stability
3. Trust
4. Routine
3. Love.
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Post by topcat on Jun 8, 2015 21:57:21 GMT
Isn't one of the problems with this that it puts the whole responsibility of things working out back on the carer? Because if the child is still unhappy, misbehaving etc well it's because the carer doesn't LOVE them enough. What an uncaring carer...what an ill informed idea of caring for damaged children.
What is lo..o..o..o..oo.oo.ve anyway? (sung)
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Post by pluto on Jun 10, 2015 5:37:16 GMT
Are they really that stupid?
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Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 10, 2015 7:31:40 GMT
I did see the programme serrakunda. right at the beginning of it when the fc was filmed saying how lovely amy was and how much she (FC) liked to feed people I thought to myself, this programme would not be an hour long f it was all sunshine and daisy chains!! I look at the young child I have in now, aged 10, and yes she needs to be loved but she is, her BM loves her and she knows this, but with me she knows she is safe, she knows she will be fed regularly and that there is always food in the cupboards, she is learning that adults can do the things they say they will do, she's learning how to be a child again and not a 'parent' to younger siblings, she's learning the benefits of a regular routine and sleeping habits, she's learning that adults can care what she watches on tv and the computer. she's also learnt how to handle cats and chickens (and how to collect eggs, a particular favourite!) and she is also lice free for the first time in years. and yes, somewhere in there she will, if she is here long enough, be loved by me too. she's a lovely child and I enjoy her company, but so far love hasnt even entered into the equation! |
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Post by caledonia on Sept 23, 2015 12:08:41 GMT
The forensic psychologist who assessed my DD (who SW and CAHMS said was fine, just badly behaved and if I knew how to parent properly she would be okay) was very scathing of the 'all they need is love' in his report about her difficulties which include 4 diagnoses and a further 5 that need investigation. SS actually identified most of the issues DD has when she was 3 years old but did nothing about it as the issue would go away once she was adopted and loved. They actually said and minuted that in a meeting.
I have been asking for support since she was 6 and moved came home but I have been told consistently it was bad parenting on my behalf. It was only when I got their files and saw the issues that I realised how deep set these issues were and how they had done nothing about it. Formal complaint being drafted now.
Love is NOT all they need.
Cale
x
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Post by runmum on Oct 8, 2015 12:02:54 GMT
And actually quite frankly they are often quite rejecting of love because it's a highly risky business based on their world view - what ignorant rhubarb. Of course they do NEED love but as others have said getting to the point where they can absorb it is often a mighty battle.
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Post by imp on Oct 9, 2015 17:16:28 GMT
Agree with you all, and unfortunately very much about it being the Carers/Adopters fault if the child is still having problems---obviously we just don't love enough !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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