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Post by swimchic on May 17, 2015 13:57:53 GMT
Dear Foster Carers,
We're adoptive parents and our daughter has been home almost two years. We're all doing really well and we are considering fostering. I have oodles experience of working with LAC, plus surviving the adoption process, worked in a contact centre, plus have over twenty years experience of childcare.
Just wondering if Social Care have a minimum period of time when your adoptive child has been home before you can foster??
Thanks in advance.
Swimchic x |
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Post by nomoretears on May 17, 2015 18:28:43 GMT
My LA state 12 months before foster carers can foster again if they adopt a child who's been placed with them. I'm not sure if that would be different if you weren't already one of their approved carers, but can't see why it should be.
You'd probably only be approved to take children at least 2 years younger than your daughter though, and there aren't many under threes coming into care at the moment - at least not where I live. It's also worth bearing in mind that the children who now come into care are much more damaged due to the length of time they've been left at home. Over the last four years each child I've taken in has been noticeably more challenging.
On the other hand, the rewards are greater (not financially I hasten to add, we've not had a pay rise for four years and basic allowances are being slashed) and good foster carers are in short supply these days.
Good luck! X
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Post by swimchic on May 17, 2015 19:42:23 GMT
Thanks no more tears...
I'm not 100% sure if its the right thing yet as there is a lot to consider. I've emailed the LA we adopted through and another LA , so we'll see what they have to say..
Swimchic
x
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Post by moo on May 18, 2015 5:58:28 GMT
Good Luck swimchic xx
You would be an asset to your l/a....
Xx moo xx
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2015 11:49:32 GMT
I know you are only looking into the idea at the moment, but I wonder how it will impact on Pink when she becomes attached to the foster kids and the leave and move on.
She is so young and has not been with you for very long. How will she understand that LO's are only staying with you but are not going to be part of your family forever, won't that be a lot to take on and understand aged 5 or 6. It's different if you were adopting for a second time and she knew LO was going to be part of your family forever like her, but a foster child is a temporary position and will come with loss, how will Pink cope with that?
I could understand if she was 12 or so, and had been home for 10+ years and was securely attached to you and DH, but she is still so little and still so new to your family. Not so sure I would want to risk it myself.
Sorry I don't mean to put you off, just running some thoughts by you as Pink is so young.
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Post by caledonia on May 19, 2015 12:17:26 GMT
hi swimchic
like jmk I would have concerns about the impact on pink.
I briefly discussed fostering with DS and DD and they were against it for that very reason. They are 14 and 13, have been with me for seven years and are very attached to me and the extended family but they both said it would be too hard to deal with when they left, especially if they went back to their birth family.
However you know her best and if you feel that she would cope with this, then all means go for it. As no more tears said, there is a lack of good foster carers.
Cale
x
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Post by chotimonkey on May 22, 2015 9:54:57 GMT
I don't mean this to undermine anyone's thoughts on effects of fostering and moving on to an ak, of course there are concerns that in sure swimchic is thinking of, just wanted to put some of the positives forward that I have seen in this situation. I've only seen this in practice with primary age ak brought into care youbg and foster babies who the plan is afoption not to be returned to bf. Ak gets v positive view of FC... Sees family getting excited, preparing rooms etc, getting baby things, seeing arriving baby as special and wonderful. Ak sees sw and health visitors etc all making sure baby is safe and well and developing Ak sees babies getting what children need and lprogressing Ak sees its not just tgem, there are many beautiful special children who also go into care and are found new fanilies Ak see how excited new parents are to meet their new baby Ak gets thanked and acknowledged for being important sibling to baby Hopefully FC- adopter contact is maintained... Sent pics etc to see how baby is doing/ growing It's a risk, even if dh hasn't banned anymore living creatures entering our house (I have had to reassure him the caterpillars will be released as soon as they are butterflies!) im not sure I could do it. I don't know how I would find doing the tiny baby stages I haven't done with my own children for someone else.., could be a bit of a kill or cure But it could also be completely wonderful  is it happy one that has a wide range of ak and foslings!, she adores it!! |
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Post by loadsofbubs on May 22, 2015 19:08:06 GMT
have to say that apart from the prospect of ongoing contact with adopters that all the above has been true for my AS. he had a very negative view of adoption before I started fostering and seeing littlies come in and go on to adoption has helped him to understand his own journey and he loves having the children in now. but he is able to compartmentalise very effectively and doesn't suffer from loss in the same way as other young people might. the contact though has been very hit and miss. while I remain in contact myself with all past fosterlings it is not reciprocated by them all (by parents) and that is hard to manage for me as an adult, though AS doesn't seem to need that, he likes to know they are safe and doing well, loves to see photos etc but doesn't ask about it. i'm in reciprocal contact with little munchkin (no.1), tiddly bubs (no.4), squishy bubs (no.7) squidgy bubs (no. 8) and teeny bops (mum and baby) mum, but squidgy and teeny bop have only been gone a few weeks so too early to tell for the longer term. contact with fc's is a contentious issue for both fc's and adopters.  |
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Post by bop on May 23, 2015 10:04:18 GMT
We were asked if we wanted to foster again just a year after our three arrived - I thought I'd got enough on my plate with them!
We started off as respite foster carers and then went on to adopt the three we cared for most regularly.
Bop
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Post by loadsofbubs on May 23, 2015 12:07:24 GMT
my AS was a 'short term' placement Bop, meant to be adopted to the US (was in hong kong) but it fell through so adopted him ourselves or he faced a life time in a hospital institution due to his medical problems and learning disability. was asked to take another LO for fostering after we'd decided to adopt AS, but declined becoz realistically we'd probably have done the same with that one!!
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Post by scaredycats on May 23, 2015 21:08:08 GMT
It's really interesting reading all your comments. I too have thought about fostering in the future and was advised by an experienced FC (fostered over 80 LOs and Big Ones over a period of 20 years) to wait until my AS was at least 8 years old.
I think this was again to do with ensuring secure attachment of my LO and being of an age to understand what was happening a bit more.
On the adoption front, we were advised by SW to wait until our AS was settled in school before adopting again. SW said that there was evidence to suggest that the bigger the age gap between adopted sibs, the greater chance of successful adoption/ interactions etc.
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Post by loadsofbubs on May 24, 2015 13:37:15 GMT
I think the big age gap is helpful, my older two were both birth children but have missed out a lot by fostering then adopting their younger brother. I went back to babies when AS was 14 (developmentally 5-6) and it has worked well. not sure I could have been doing this (mainstream fostering) when he was younger as he had a lot of behavioural and medical problems until he was 11 ish.
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is it happy one that has a wide range of ak and foslings!, she adores it!! 
