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Post by nzhb on May 9, 2015 12:11:59 GMT
What does anyone else do when confronted with a monosyllabic tweenager? When we try to talk about anything all we get is 'I don't know' or 'I don't care', often with a 'Go away' or 'Leave me alone'.
Life never used to be like this!
I know there is lots of brain re-modelling going on & hormones changing, but it is tedious with the withering looks & boring replies to any conversations.
All she seems to want to do is sit in her bedroom, doing 'stuff', listening to music or texting her friends.
We limit the phone and there is no access to the computer unless we agree to it.
Doesn't seem very interested in trying new hobbies ( was always good at this)
And , as for eating - well, all the things she used to like she says she doesn't now. Wont eat veg, fruit, yoghurts, potatoes.
My answer to that it, if you are hungry that is what there is.
Won't talk about feelings, denies she has any problems.
Is there going to be an end to this or do we have a tweenager that has regressed and we have missed a vital opportunity. ?
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Post by serrakunda on May 9, 2015 12:33:36 GMT
It's difficult with our kids, in lots of ways sounds very normal teenager stuff, my brother was the same about food, only ate celery, bacon, toast and cereal for years. I was the obe wh sat in my room, reading, taping stuff off the radio, listening to radio Caroline at midnight under the blankets
I think teens regard parents as quite boring and useless except for providing a taxi service or supply of money. I think it ends when they are about 30!
Do you think there is anything more going on?
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Post by mrmlegal on May 9, 2015 16:18:41 GMT
I've come out the end of this phenomenon. I have 2 dds who both behaved exactly the same. They are now in their 20's and one of them still spends an inordinate amount of time in her room when supposedly here to visit me. However, both have realised that Mum has acquired a huge amount of useful knowledge since they were teenagers and that it is extremely useful information which she can now impart!! They both now realise that most of what Mum says does actually make sense. Sorry to say, however, that both of you have some way to go to reach that stage.
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Post by milly on May 9, 2015 16:47:27 GMT
I find it comes and goes. Yes lots of being in bedroom doing nothing much, although mine does have internet access and I also get the food thing, so much so that I barely know what food she does like anymore (except sweets, chips and ice cream of course)
But then suddenly my attention is demanded at a completely inconvenient time and she wants to come with me to events where I'd rather she didn't or conversely argues about coming on family trips when we really don't want to leave her at home for hours.
But overall I don't find it that bad. She can't keep up the lack of interest or withering scorn for long luckily. And keeping out of dd2's way most of the time is easier than having them clash. And with Dd2 now wedded to the TV whenever she gets the chance, I find it amazing that I can actually get on with work or chores without interruption these days.
I am expecting Dd2 to be the more difficult teen though....
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Post by mooster on May 10, 2015 7:32:57 GMT
Teenagers - demand attention - reject advice
If you don't think/feel there is anything else underlying the behaviour then you just have to travel the journey with them. At least you know where she is, she is not out and about wandering the streets which is good!
Keep posting, lots of experienced teenage parents on here!
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Post by sooz on May 10, 2015 10:20:17 GMT
I've been recommended the book 'blame my brain' by someone who's gone through it and says it was great.
Think I may order it soon!!.....
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Post by nzhb on May 10, 2015 10:56:40 GMT
Yes _ I have that book somewhere - must dig it out !
Now this weekend, Ad has been much more amenable & chatty with me - has even volunteered to give up her phone for the day!!!
And I haven't had to bribe her.
I will make the most of it.
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Post by peartree on May 10, 2015 18:53:27 GMT
Just go along and pretend that they are like Kevin Patterson from the 90s Harry Enfield show....
I have got one suggestion
It's radical
Get a heap of money saved up.
Say on this weekend, I will go with you and do whatever you want us to do. Here's the money. You choose how I spend it on our time together.
You'll be surprised what she asks for,
Room service ? Maybe, nail painting from the chemist selection?
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Post by nzhb on May 10, 2015 21:22:48 GMT
That is a good idea Peartree - it is called 'love bombing' I think.
I will get the diary out -might look at 1/2 term, as weekend is full of things she likes to do!!
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Post by caledonia on May 11, 2015 10:57:12 GMT
I have a male one of these who grunts occasionally and lies in his bed watching DVDs, playing on his PS4 or listening to U-tube and trying to break through my firewall and watch porn. Everything I want him to do is wrong and stupid and I of course know nothing. Well most of the time but occasionally the loving boy he is comes out and it almost makes it worth it.
On the other hand my female one of these is s shrieking dervish - if only she would become monosyllabic! Everything I say is sneered at and she has mastered the 'dirty look' to Oscar standards! she changes what she will and wont eat daily, and often within the day, but thankfully her love of her activities remains - its the only thing that keeps me sane.
I am told they grow out of it by their twenties - its going to be a long seven years............
A number of parents of my two's friends have similar children and the moment so I don't feel too bad - it's just with our children its a bit more extreme, as with everything they do! I know there is more going on with my two but I am working on that now.
My sympathies are with you and you know where to come to vent
Cale
x
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Post by kizim on May 12, 2015 7:51:09 GMT
Enigma did a wonderful presentation based on 'Blame it on my Brain' at the end of Middle School - ironically. Toko İ thought my connection with Enigma was strong before adolescence - but it didn't seem to make much difference  mind you she is a great actress and 'acting in' whilst secretly 'acting out' that maybe we didn't. Certainly, leaving and couch surfing or moving in with the latest bf seems to be the most sensible option...definitely preferable to living at home. İ fear pregnancy will be viewed as stability in the near future. Not sure if love bombing is the answer for me....it will just send me once more on the rollercoaster. Her 19th birthday is on 15th - want to send a message but it may be best to wait for her? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx My stroppy, moody 14 yr old does not cause me half the heartache - exasperating as she can be at times. |
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mind you she is a great actress and 'acting in' whilst secretly 'acting out' that maybe we didn't.