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Post by ladybug on Mar 25, 2015 7:51:14 GMT
...apprehensive, unsure, concerned? I am not sure which I feel after having met with little babybug's FC yesterday who has fostered 13 babies this far (not sure how experienced this would make her) however little babybug is only the second baby she has moved on for adoption and she seemed very unsure regarding memory box and such, her SW was explaining to her. She was also a bit worried about getting home on the day they come to our house as she doesn't drive and we are around 60 miles away from where she lives. Our SW asked if we could drop her to the station which is no problem at all and then we would take LBB back to her house for bedtime.
I am sure it will all be fine.
x x x Ladybug x x x
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Post by loadsofbubs on Mar 25, 2015 8:30:39 GMT
think it makes her an experienced baby carer but not a mover onto adoption carer, though the memory boxes etc should be second nature regardless of where the child ends up for permanence. its drummed into us regularly to the point that I feel really awful for teeny bop whose mum wont let me take any pictures or fill in any kind of memory book/box becoz she wants to wipe this period of her life from her memory for ever. very short sighted, but anyway...!
if she cant get herself back from your house then how is she going to actually get to your house with bubba? doesn't sound too well thought out by the sw's, and its the sw's who should be sorting this really (in terms of ideas and transport help). that's quite a long way for a bubba to travel for daily intros and personally I would be questioning the need for it. will bubs be in the car when you take fc to the station? what is that going to feel like for them? strange people, strange car, fc disappearing to who knows where. in the past when I have moved children who have a long way to go home (and 60 miles is a long way to a bubs, up to 2 hours driving depending on teh roads) all intros have taken place at my home and then I take them down on moving day, stay for an hour or two until the bubba is settled and then I go home and bubs stays. as there is always a social worker there for handover then we share the driving (well, I drive becoz i'm a control freak but sw could drive instead!). or, something I haven't done but know some fcs do and I have offered in the past, the fc stays in a b&b or similar locally to you, but then you have another alien environment to contend with as well. I prefer the all intros at mine and then me taking bubba home scenario. there is no right or wrong way, just what will best suit the child in question, and for the ones I've had this is what ahs worked best. |
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Post by loadsofbubs on Mar 25, 2015 8:32:35 GMT
at the end of the day intros are stressful what ever you do, its about reducing the stress for everyone involved and a stressed fc will likely equal an even more stressed bubs which in turn will impact on you. reduce the stress as much as poss even if it means changing the plans to achieve that. after all, not te fc's fault she doesn't drive and the sw's knew this when matching with you.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 11:07:41 GMT
Agree with LOB's that SW should be sorting out transport for FC not you. Your priority is baby.
Could your OH drop FC to the station while you remain at home with LO, or could you not just call a mini cab to take her there?
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Post by chotimonkey on Mar 25, 2015 13:28:05 GMT
becayse we were a similar distance away and neither FC felt confident with the drive and had other Childrens schedules etc to manage none of them came to ours during intros because the logistics were too complex. Neither squirrel nor howler saw our house till we brought them home after intros. George came to us before intros for a contact visit and so FC could get a feel for where he'd be before placement... I don't think it made any difference in the long term.
Is not having a home visit something that could be considered.
Or if not coukd Ss drive FC and tie it in with a visit?
Whilst you want to be mindful, You do want to be able to concentrate on lo, not everyone else's travel arrangements.
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Post by chotimonkey on Mar 25, 2015 13:29:12 GMT
Could ss fund a can for FC to from station... They have us petrol allowance during intros so should do the same gor FC?
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Post by chotimonkey on Mar 25, 2015 13:29:28 GMT
Cab not can
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Post by kstar on Mar 25, 2015 22:31:51 GMT
I was approx 80 miles from Starlet's FC. They did drive but for family reasons they struggled during intros so I did a lot of the driving. However for Starlet's first couple of visits here social workers did the driving instead. It seems totally unreasonable of them to suggest you should driver FC around, you will have enough to think about and anyway as has already been said, how confusing for little ladybug!
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Post by loadsofbubs on Mar 26, 2015 8:56:01 GMT
I have had one bubs who did no home visit prior to placement. and yes, in the long run it has probably not made a huge difference, but in the short term it left him very distressed, something that could have been avoided had I been allowed to take him myself as I had others previously and since (sw's wouldn't let me becoz he was 'only little and would be fine', their words, not mine!).
and yes, fcs also get travel expenses and its not unreasonable for them to claim for a cab and train fare during intros. my only concern would be is bubs used to train travel becoz presumably that is also how they would get to your home, if not its an added stress/excitement on an important day. |
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2015 17:42:18 GMT
Hope things have been sorted out.
No one mentioned such a thing as a Memory Box to us for our LO.
But we were sent photos/ video clips/ clothes/ toys etc. which we were happy with.
Is this the kind of thing you mean?
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Post by nomoretears on Apr 18, 2015 22:53:44 GMT
It makes me so sad to hear of children with no memory boxes as they're so easy, yet so important. The last few children I've taken have come from other carers, and none have brought memory boxes. I wonder if they've been phased out? But why?
In a baby's memory box I'd include their first outfit worn, first shoes, hospital bands (quite often taken by birth parents but hospitals are usually happy to provide a spare), lock of hair, list of "firsts" (smile, laugh, tooth etc), birthday/Christmas cards, tickets from any trips out, photo album, hand and footprints, first scribbles, loads more stuff along these lines.
An older child's memory box would probably be more accurately described as a small shed.
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Post by ladybug on Apr 19, 2015 6:17:39 GMT
I absolutely love the idea of a memory box. Babybug's will contain his hospital tag and first outfit and shoes amongst other things.
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Post by loadsofbubs on Apr 19, 2015 8:25:39 GMT
don't think they're being fazed out NMT, just that some fc's don't do them, which is sad. in my LA there is no excuse for not doing them becoz we get training very early on that pushes the need for them, so to not do them after that just makes a person lazy and inconsiderate really. but maybe not all LA's push for it in the same way? my baby boxes contain similar to NMT's plus any mementos form holdiays, special days out etc which obviously vary a lot between children depending on the time of year, winter babies get fewer as I do fewer trips in winter! when the bbs moved on her memory box was actually 5 boxes! but she'd been with me for 3 years and her BP's gave her a lot of stuff that wasn't mine to dispose of. and she had loads of hospital tags having been in hospital a dozen or more times with me!
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 19, 2015 11:30:34 GMT
There's a not on the high street company that does a v sweet keepsake... You choose an animal significant to ur lo and send them some baby clothes and they make a memory toy out of them, they can also weight them to your Child's birth weight.
We had some made for ours and made them a tiny laminated book with a pic of each item of clothing and an explanation/ picture of them wearing is out each + baby pics and photo of red book birth time/ weight
My sil has just had a baby and it has become a bit of a therapeutic toy (unintentionally) for dd1 she likes to feel how tiny she was as a baby and feel her soft clothes and we use the toy to show her how her how she was fed/ cuddled/ read to/ played with in fc
I also like it cos it's a way for me to feel connected to her as a tiny one, she's the only one I never had as a proper baby so it's given us a bit of a way of recreating the baby bond
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Post by kstar on Apr 19, 2015 18:24:57 GMT
The one thing Starlet's FC managed to do properly was a memory box! Photos, cards, drawings from school, certificates from school.... Starlet loves it and looks through it all the time.
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Post by lankelly on Apr 30, 2015 20:14:56 GMT
Hi.ladybug.
We had our last child of 9 months placed via different and very successful means. I went to stay locally to fc and remained there for five nights getting up early and going back to b and b. His care was virtually handed over in this time. The fc and Tweedledum then came to ours and eased Tweedledum in very easily while they stayed local a few nights leaving him for longer periods and then sleeps etc. We were miles apart but they transported child and they were the ones to leave us at home. It worked so well but was a new idea we came up with after terrible time with his sibling transferring to us.
The social worker for fc should be providing transport to and from your home in any event. Not you even for a short drop off, she will be upset most likely and you don't need that with lo.waiting for you.Also someone else would support her. Best wishes for a lovely transition.x
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2015 6:20:47 GMT
Lankelly, you must have missed Ladybugs intro's thread, but Babybug has already come home.
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