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Post by bumbleb33 on Sept 30, 2013 9:40:08 GMT
I'm a bit ahead of myself here as we've not even met our LO yet, but...
When do you make an announcement to friends and family about their arrival? Before/after intros or wait until Celebration day? Obviously we are keeping our close family in the loop with progress but don't know when it would be OK for the wider circle to congratulate us if you see what I mean?
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Post by Ad-minnie! on Sept 30, 2013 10:06:06 GMT
I sent out announcement cards after intros but before the Adoption Order/Celebration day (as the latter can take some months). I didn't feel comfortable doing it until I had met child and they were home although I did tell close family and very close friends. On announcement cards, I put photo, date LO moved in, and his d.o.b. But I also sent letter explaining I was in process of adopting him (i.e. because not adopted until after the Adoption Order). But everyone probably does it differently!!! Because I didn't tell lots of people, there was a hilarious moment in the park when a woman I knew asked who LO was. When I said, "my son", she blurted out ... but you don't have a husband/partner ... and her face was a picture. She was just taken aback I think, hence the blurting out!!! I DID explain  . Minnie x |
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Post by bumbleb33 on Sept 30, 2013 10:40:51 GMT
Funny question Minnie, but did you receive cards from family/friends like families with new born babies do? It may sound selfish but I wouldn't want to miss out on that, or is it inappropriate?
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Post by serrakunda on Sept 30, 2013 11:29:02 GMT
Congratulations! I think its up to you when you feel comfortable with things. I didnt want to have those awkward moments in the park so told everyone I wanted to tell after matching panel. Celebration day could be a long way down the line so its probably not practical to wait till then
Its nice to be aknowledged but I'm afraid lots of people just dont see it the same way as having a baby. I was very lucky, on my last day of work my collegues decorated my desk with 'its a boy' things ( simba was 7 !) My best friend also organised a last night out/baby shower for me, complete with its a boy balloons and presents and we had a great time
So no I dont think its inappropriate at all but be prepared that people may not respond that way, particularly if they didnt know your plans they may just be taken by surprise, thought hopefully your nearest and dearest will
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Post by Ad-minnie! on Sept 30, 2013 15:13:51 GMT
I had a mixed response in terms of cards and things. One of my jobs made a wonderful fuss ... card, presents etc. The other job (yes, I have 2 jobs!!!) didn't even send a card. Some family and friends sent cards, some didn't. I have kept every card as they meant a lot. And a few people gave small gifts but only a few. My LO was under 2. All I would say, is people might not send a card/give gifts. Maybe because LO was not a baby? Maybe because they were surprised? But my guess is they didn't know what to do ... one of my Mum's friends even confessed to this! I guess its not helped by the fact there aren't many (if any) Congratulations on adopting cards out there! BUT some people made a wonderful fuss  Not sure if that helps?! Minnie x |
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Post by moo on Sept 30, 2013 16:15:15 GMT
I told my closest friends ( who were all eagerly following my journey....) as soon as linked & then matched......
Because I had shared my journey with my support network & closest friends it got very tricky when nothing was happening because they were always asking " any news.... What's happening " so it was such a relief to be able to tell them once linked....
Much as everyone was marvellous only my Mum bought me a card!!! Sad eh but it is seen differently as I adopted & not gave birth to baa & skweek.... I hope you get loads of congratulations cards.... 
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by kstar on Sept 30, 2013 18:05:05 GMT
I was pretty open about it and told everyone just after matching panel (closest family and friends were updated throughout). I was very lucky in that I got loads of cards, but I asked for no presents immediately - Starlet bus six and I didn't want her to see every day as Christmas! Instead, we had a naming day celebration last month, which gave everyone the chance to spoil her!!
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Post by bumbleb33 on Oct 1, 2013 8:58:05 GMT
Thanks everyone, I'll downplay my expectations then! I know I would want to send a congrat's card if I had a friend who adopted, but then I like making and sending cards for all occasions.
At the moment only our mums (and you lot!) know that we are linked with a little boy. We've only told our friends that it is a child under 2 in case it all goes wrong. I think I will reveal name and age on MP day (if we get a yes) and just remind people that we will be huddled away for a while getting to know our LO.
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Post by Ad-minnie! on Oct 1, 2013 21:09:54 GMT
Hi,
I have a letter I drafted for family and friends to explain the "huddling away". More than happy to pm it if it would help to have a copy.
Minnie x
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Post by bumbleb33 on Oct 2, 2013 8:32:49 GMT
Hi Minnie, that PM would be much appreciated, thank you. x
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Post by gilreth on Oct 2, 2013 9:23:50 GMT
DH & I have been pretty open about it the whole way through - because of our jobs a lot of people at work needed to know. Our close families (well to be accurate a lot of the time for me just my sister & brother-in-law who are adopters themselves) and our friends have been kept pretty much up to date as well. The only person strangely I have been a little wary over telling actual dates is my mother - but that is more because my grandmother tends to broadcast garbled information around the rest of my extended family.
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thespouses
Bronze Member
Married Adopter
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Post by thespouses on Oct 2, 2013 13:35:34 GMT
We sent announcement cards with "Born on... Placed with us for adoption on..." and photos.
Little boy was very tiny so it was within the range of times that people would send an announcement for a birth, but we got gifts and cards back from the same kinds of people who would give them for a birth child EXCEPT work though once I was able to change my out of office reply to "I'm on adoption leave" (as initially I just had to say "I'm on leave" until the adoption leave kicked in), I got lots of email congrats, and gifts from nice individual colleagues, but nothing from work as a whole.
Quite a lot of people didn't send a card/gift for months, or until they saw us, but I imagine that would be common for a birth child.
Our adoption was final in about the time scale you'd get for a UK adoption but it was just a piece of paper really as it just got posted to us, so we didn't send anything special round for that.
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arethstar
New Member
Single Adopter
Posts: 29
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Post by arethstar on Oct 2, 2013 19:26:40 GMT
I was fairly unsubtle with friends and posted a message for them saying something like "some people have asked if they can get a present for Starling. So I'm posting the list of things I still need for her here should anyone else want to know but didn't want to ask." I was also quite clear that approval panel, matching panel, introductions, and moving in were all Big Deals. I even made it known at work that I expected a collection by complimenting the guy who arranged the whip around for a pregnant colleague and saying I hoped they'd get him to do mine too As has been said, most of the time people just don't know what to do - so I think it's okay to tell them! I got cards and gifts from most friends as I would have expected had I given birth. My mum's family have all been pretty good about sending stuff. My dad's family seem to have completely missed the "this is *my* new baby, even if she is 4" point. It bothers my mum more as she's sent presents to all their grandchildren (and there's a lot of them!). |
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Post by taliesin on Oct 29, 2013 10:50:14 GMT
We told our close family about our LO's, after about 5 weeks of knowing about them; this gave us time to get our heads around it and be sure it was going to happen, as much as you can be sure until MP; although part of me wanted to leave it until MP, for us it didnt seem fair on family .... we stressed nothing was in writing untik MP and things could go wrong which they on the surface all understand. Close friends have been on the journey with us, but again we didnt tell them until after told family.....there have been some 'others' we've mentioned to in passing so it wouldnt be a shock or embarrassing situs. Work - my immediate colleagues have known all along, but I had to tell my teams last week mainly because my being off for 12 months has led to a re-structure within our mgmt team - I didnt want to tell them, but no choice really...and have left it as late as possible by sending an email with basic "I'll be off...new mgmt team....we're adopting x age and x age..." Actually...I was really really worried about collegaues knowing as Im quite private and feel embarrassed by fuss....but its been really nice kniowing its out there and I can sort-of enjoy the next few weeks finishing up in work. We have shared pics and a video with family only in the last week (weve had it for about 6 weeks), and that has helped them 'bond' and feel committed with the children too....and the best thing I could have done to help our family; we live considerable distance from them all, so it was important for all of us that they should have that time to get used tio the idea of 2 new family members. The key though - whats comfortable for you and yours......dont feel under pressure to do what others do, or what you think you should |
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Post by pingu on Apr 21, 2014 22:38:04 GMT
We just told immediate family we were matched, plus a few close fiends, church folk/ mainly to warn folks of the addition to Sunday school, and told school to " stand by to repel boarders" and I told work.Work was in the throes of a massive reorganisation so just got a card from those still around. Once ds1 was settled in we did an extra ( like Christmas letter) flyer to further flung friends announcing the addition to the family, ds2 announcement worked in with the regular Christmas letter. So no big thing, but with older kids it wasn't like a baby coming. Most cards and presents were for the kids, but people were very good and didn't overwhelm them, mostly asked what was appropriate. I think bemused was the main work reaction. As some have said, a lot of people don't know how they are expected to react or what is helpful to you, but that is not their fault, I would have been the same 10 years ago. Assume the best of their motives and explain it feels like a birth to you, especially after such a long wait( pregnancy!) if you want congrats cards or presents though, you might need to spell it out! I advised my dad that if he couldn't find an adoption day card, a pretty blank card could be bought and fleshed out a bit by himself!
Best wishes with intros, etc
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 22, 2014 5:55:29 GMT
Hi lovelybee
I think it depends on you and how you normally operate... I couldn't keep anything to myself I was so wildly excited I would have exploded... So all family/ friends/ colleagues knew about approval, panel, linking/ matching etc I think because they had been there every step of the way when we got to the final bit, they knew just how far we'd come and how much this meant...
Post mp for squirrel (and it was assumed that howler would be placed with us post her ao being granted) my sibs hosted a double baby shower for both squirrel and howler it was v lovely and for me marked a celebration of reaching the end of a long journey to parenthood.
Work were very kind and gave me more leaving presents etc than a normal maternity leave.. Prob because they suspected I would be leaving permanently even though I hadn't fully decided then,
Then after each placement I sent out photo cards with
'Xxxx and xxxxx are delighted to announce the homecoming of xxxxx, born xxxxxx and arrived home on xxxxx
People were v kind esp considering we did this three times in about 20 months... I think we are prob quite indulged!!!
I was just so proud to have my three beautiful babies and to be a mama I wanted everyone to know!!!
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 22, 2014 5:57:55 GMT
Sorry I didn't check the date on the original post... You'll be an expert at this stuff already !
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Post by frankieswife on Apr 23, 2014 12:44:59 GMT
Hi, I have a letter I drafted for family and friends to explain the "huddling away". More than happy to pm it if it would help to have a copy. Minnie x Hi Minnie Could I be cheeky and ask you to PM me a copy of this letter too, please? I hope this is ok. Thanks ever so much x |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 8:10:24 GMT
Frankie you might want to have a read of the thread "Between Matching & Intro's" pinned at the top of this board as there are some examples of letters for friends and family in there.
In fact you might want to have a read of all the pinned threads above, if you haven't done so already, as they all have fantastic advice in there for approved adopters before meeting their children. Well worth a read through if you have the time.
HTH
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Post by frankieswife on Apr 24, 2014 13:27:42 GMT
Thanks ever so much jmk. I will get my reading head on  xx |
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Post by scaredycats on Aug 5, 2014 20:27:12 GMT
Thanks, Bumbleb33, I enjoyed reading through this again.
We are about to start intros with our little boy on Friday and we told most of our friends and family that we had been matched straight after matching panel.
We have also written a little intro letter, based on the one found on this forum, for when you are adopting a baby - and we plan to send this out once he has moved in with us.
I can't wait to bring him home!
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Post by moo on Aug 8, 2014 6:50:36 GMT
This is such a great thread....
Good Luck Scaredycats.... Hope you get loads of cards ( still wish I'd have had) but baa & skweek were very much older than babies...
Love starlings approach!?? also love the fact that to us parents are l/o really are our 'babies' so why shouldn't we get baby showers??! Never thought of it that way before.... Spot on 
Xx. moo. Xx
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