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Gifts
Dec 23, 2014 8:29:52 GMT
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Post by peartree on Dec 23, 2014 8:29:52 GMT
With blossom, she really cant look after or value things So we either get her one more expensive thing (up to £50) and several little things (hair clips etc) or we get bits for an outfit. This year she's got brand new jeans and top and some music books to play the piano with
Partridge never believes he's going to get anything So can't be bothered with anything He is now much better at looking after things though so we can get him nicer things. This year it's a cordless screwdriver But he's thoroughly miserable about things - there's no joy for him Everybody has got a gift from him apart from me and Mr pt So I'm afraid im sending him off this morning with the money to get his hair cut and me and Mr pt a present. I've asked for the jools Holland one Mr pt wants the dads army dvd
Yes I know he's earning. But he tells me he's skint. But funnily enough TABACCO seems to be financially accessible?
Let's see what he gets....
It's stressful and tense isn't it? Gifts with our teen adoptees?
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Gifts
Dec 23, 2014 10:57:02 GMT
Post by corkwing on Dec 23, 2014 10:57:02 GMT
Research shows that objects don't make us happy, long term. We may get a boost in happiness, but it dissipates and can actually leave us less happy than before.
Experiences, on the other hand, do contribute to long term happiness. So would something like a visit to a theme park, go-karting, etc. be a better present?
It's difficult here. Mackerel, particularly, desperately wants things because he still, despite 14 years of evidence, thinks that a thing will make him happy and I'm not sure that a voucher for some far-off event would satisfy that.
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Gifts
Dec 23, 2014 13:19:10 GMT
Post by shadow on Dec 23, 2014 13:19:10 GMT
my dad always said to me he just wanted a hug and a smile - and I have said that to shadette - this year she has bought christmas presents for the first time - its quite funny - mine seems to be a DVD she then had to watch, my dad has a chocolate orange, my mum has been bought some VERY expensive perfume (no doubt tested and used by shadette) my cousins sons (both in 20 s and working) were nearly "slipped a tenner" but now have boots gift sets that have been opened and tried!
I love it!
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Post by pingu on Dec 23, 2014 19:18:26 GMT
I told my dh that what I most wanted for Chistmas was a shelf put up on my side of our bedroom, so I can get my books off the dressing table. Done this afternoon !
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Gifts
Dec 23, 2014 20:46:24 GMT
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Post by wibbley on Dec 23, 2014 20:46:24 GMT
DS has told me & DD several times what he has got us. I am trying to block it all out.
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Gifts
Dec 24, 2014 13:59:25 GMT
Post by bop on Dec 24, 2014 13:59:25 GMT
DD1 is unable to ask for anything so its real guess work getting her presents and sometimes we get it right, sometimes we don't; DS is not bothered by stuff and is happy with whatever he gets; DD2 wants everything and is quite obsessive over stuff (but it never fills the hole).
In terms of giving, DD1 now lives elsewhere and has bought presents with support for the other two (but not us). This morning DS had an idea for a special present for me and sorted it with DHs help - then DD2 got all upset because she hadn't sorted anything, so now its a joint surprise (and they are both uber excited about it!)....they both have got something for DH (albeit bought and wrapped by me).
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Post by serrakunda on Dec 24, 2014 14:43:31 GMT
This is what Simba wrote in my Christmas card
Dear mummy
Merry Christmas and happy new year. I hope you hsve a wonderful 2015. Me and you have had a lovely 2014. I hope we have a happy year best year
Lots of love T
And I have a badge which says super lovely mummy on it
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Post by damson on Dec 24, 2014 20:39:28 GMT
DD reaping the benefits of belonging to 3 families... birth, adoptive and foster. Many envelopes and wrapped boxes to supply things and finance for more things How will DS feel tomorrow, when she has so many more presents than him?
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Gifts
Dec 24, 2014 20:44:17 GMT
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Post by peartree on Dec 24, 2014 20:44:17 GMT
Tricky Blossom gets loads But we just do our presents from us with her
She can't live here which is very sad So the extra presents are part to make christmas better
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Gifts
Dec 24, 2014 21:13:30 GMT
Post by mayan on Dec 24, 2014 21:13:30 GMT
Dd is in grinch mode and determined to be miserable and now has a heavy cold to boot so has decided to stay home on her own tomorrow - she has presents from the family but when in misery mode has a problem receiving from us so we have a trip to London in January and theatre tickets for her as an experience is better received than things when she is like this - last year she was so happy to get a hudl and absolutely loved it but come September and her downwards spiral it has laid untouched....
We stopped doing presents for ds as some years he has turned up and some years not - he has had xmas presents in June....having not been in touch for a while he turned up late last night without warning so only went away witth a card and some cash that my brother gave me to give him if he put in an appearance - my brother and his partner are the only one who still thinks of our ds now I'm afraid. Others too hurt by his seeming rejection and just don't understand or want to try.... Ds brought cards and presents - again sometimes he does sometimes he doesn't so we don't make a thing either way and just try and make the time as easy as possible - the best present was that he hugged his sister when he went... Too many feelings parked for now and others to attend to.
Complicated ...
Hugs to everyone trying to deal with this too.
Mxx
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Deleted
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Gifts
Dec 25, 2014 20:59:33 GMT
Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2014 20:59:33 GMT
As kinship carers for our daughter's girls we enjoyed their absolute delight and pleasure in sitting on our bed opening their stockings. A far cry from Christmas contact when our daughter had announced she will be away visiting her birth father so would not see the girls at half term but at easter. Who is more important? It says it all to us and them. Presents given by usrto them but not even a card or word of thanks to us. We hang on for the girls sake but thirty years of a non reciprocal relationship makes things strained.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 7:23:49 GMT
Received 3 beautiful presents from EDD this Christmas, but nothing from YDD at all, despite having to take her shopping on Christmas Eve to buy individual presents for everyone in FC's family and the other foster kids in the placement, (so 7 presents in total) but nothing was bought for either myself or her sister. She said she'd get us something later. Got to get your priorities right and make a good impression don't you.
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Post by serrakunda on Dec 26, 2014 9:20:46 GMT
Nice that oyster made it herself.
With the help of the lady in the shop Simba bought me a silver 'guardian angel' . He has a guardian angel in his bed to take away the bad dreams so I should have one too. Courtesy of nanny he also gave me some very nice chocolates and some mint tea, nanny knows what I like !
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Post by poohbear on Dec 26, 2014 10:19:18 GMT
Hubby got me a plaque from Shrimp. It simply said 'the love of a family is the greatest blessing'. Made me cry! This time last year he was just words on paper, having him here this Christmas has been ao lovely.
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