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Post by flowerpower on Nov 1, 2014 7:18:56 GMT
Hi I read our forum quite often and never get any positive comments about when our LO become teenagers? I have three grown up BC so do remember the things they got up to as teens ie strops, drinking, knowing better than any adult, hatting me, refusing to get up for school, spending hours in their rooms and so on. So my question is has anyone got any positive story about their Adopted teens. I am expecting all the attitude stuff But because my LO are adopted will it be 100% worse
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Post by happyone on Nov 1, 2014 9:47:05 GMT
Well I have 10 children mixed bag of adoption birth and fosterd. I have experienced tough times but also brilliant times and I am proud of each and everyone of them. 22 lives away works full time 21.5 training to be nurse 21 works full time back at home 19 married with grandson 17 waiting for Uni 17 independant in flat Each one has gave me there fair share of sleepless weeks and heartache but they do come through the other side xxx 14 just starting the rocky road 13 taller than them all and is discovering herself My worry now is 4 and 5 I have an age gap which means I will have a break from teenagers this really worries me will I manage to get in the loop if iv been out of it !!! My ramblings are simple it's tough but I survived haha and it made no difference whether fost adop or birth they was all pigs hahaha xxx
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2014 10:13:19 GMT
In short yes.....those teenage years are a time when your brain goes to mush naturally, so much rewiring can take place. Each of ours quite literally changed on their 13 birthday into great big toddler/young people/adults in other words all over the place teenagers, Currently we have two teenagers at home and one way at Uni and I can safely say these teenage years are by far the best years so far ...my advice....never forget the power of unconditional chocolate and bacon sarnies, and talking-even if they have lost the ability to speak beyond a Neanderthal grunt
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Post by flowerpower on Nov 1, 2014 12:28:53 GMT
Thank you, I can not wait we have a wile to go yet but I do remember it can suddenly creep upon you and suddenly they have grown up
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Post by peartree on Nov 1, 2014 14:37:18 GMT
Hello, we have 2 adopted teens and at times It has been sheer hell. It is lots harder than the "normal range" teenage angst. But (and I have a BIG one!) Its the time where our son has done his "attachment" Partridge is avoidant and hes got a screwed view of attachments because of his poor early start. However, since Blossom (his adopted sister) moved to her unit- he has become a person in his own right. On paper- we look like a big success, he's finished school, did 3 years at college and has got city and guilds qualifications and now is learning to drive and has just started a full time job at a local supermarket. At 10-11 yrs I thought I had lost him and again these last couple of years have been very tough here with him. But you know, we choose to love a child who hurts. Its going to be extreme. But we do have a lad who is much more of a rounded person, knows where he stands and belongs in a family who are utterly devoted to him. Blossoms teenage years- erm, well, I do think at 16 there was a sudden jolt and she started to mature a little and noticed the lovely opportunities and love surrounding her. Thats been good. so there are positive changes. You get a chance to do connection and attachmenty things with a HUGE toddler when you have teenagers.
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Post by pingu on Nov 1, 2014 16:33:49 GMT
Ds1 has matured no end, now 16 and trustworthy, which he always was, but also now recognising his strengths and weaknesses, and working out what he can and cannot do job wise, in a very mature way., He says he thought about " going off the rails " at about thirteen but decided that given his bad early start in life, he couldn't afford to mess around going wild for a few years !!! I mentioned him in Good News section of forum recently .
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Post by flowerpower on Nov 1, 2014 17:35:36 GMT
Love the statement pear tree "we chose to love a child that hurts" and yes we did didn't we so I will embrace every year thank you xxx
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