Suggestions for activities on Intros

Hi Tyke,
Exciting Times! Congratulations! My boys were 6 and 4, and intros were in February. Here are my experiences and suggestions:

I met the boys first on the Friday morning, Sat and Sun were both spent in the FC's home, on Monday the FC took us all to soft play (and yes, I did feel a bit like a grown up child as the FC drove and paid for the boys entrance). However on the Monday in the house there was a definite swap from FC in charge of behaviour to me in charge (which we had discussed beforehand).
On the Tuesday the FC left me to it and I took the boys out for several hours.

Behaviour/ emotional wise I had two opposites: 6 year (who in someways is emotionally younger than his brother) was just excited and not really aware of the enormity of the situation - he was easy throughout intros.
My 4 year was a huge messy bundle of emotions. A few days before intros started, the intros period was extended because 4 yr old was showing signs of resistance ("I'm going to bite her!") As it happened, he coped amazingly well and there was no biting! However, you could feel his little volcano bubbling just underneath the surface all the time. Looking back now, I can see how stressed he was, but by the time he moved, he'd got all the turmoil out of his system. Just for info, for the 6 year old the fireworks happened 3 months later - classic honeymoon, but we got through them too.

I mention all this, because it has a knock on effect for activities - Everyone says it, but it's true, follow your LO's lead. Even things that the FC said they enjoyed (puzzles and snakes and ladders) the boys could not settle to, it just took way too much brain power to concentrate on things that usually engaged them. Think younger and think of things that allow easy, "it's not even happening" touch ie: Painting which led to hand painting where I could paint the boys hands to make hand prints and they could paint mine, playdoh (still a huge favourite), playing with dolls/toys, stories (short and for younger children).

My boys couldn't/ didn't stick with any activity for long in the first few days, I followed their lead but also very gently started to lay down that the 'new mummy' was in charge - ie: 'If we want to do something else, that's fine, but we are going to clear the paints up first".

Once they came to mine, they loved floating and sinking investigations in the kitchen sink, pretending to measure things with my tape measure, playing with a torch under their new bed. And a few days in as they started to settle I made them each a picture treasure hunt. I took close up photos of things round the house; the spine of a book, their photograph on the mantel piece, the cat's bowl, and the picture was the clue to find the next clue. ie By the spine of the book was the picture of the photograph, behind the photograph was the picture of the cat bowl etc. They loved this and I would set the treasure hunts up 3 or 4 times a day, the best thing being, the clues can be in a different order each time, and when you're thoroughly sink of it, you can cut down the number of clues! It was great for letting the boys really explore the house, and giving them permission to own the house as theirs. Also, the boys were not interested in the 'prize' at the end at all (and I have down treasure hunts with friend's children and nephews and it's always the same). They love the hunt, rather than the treasure - weird! I got a plastic play medal and that served as the treasure each time.

I hope my ramblings help a little - in short keep things intellectually and emotionally easy and for short periods of time, expect to do things at FC's home for longer than probably feels comfortable for you (remember it feels awkward and weird for you, but safe and secure for her), follow her lead, don't be surprised if she's a little bag of mixed up emotions and very gently, let her come to realise that you're going to be in charge, as this will help her feel safe too. The first time I took the boys out on my own the 4 yr old said "who is looking after US today?" He had included me in the US - I was one of them (which felt lovely) but he hadn't understood that I was big and able to look after him (probably because I had been playing with them and not doing normal mummy things - cooking etc which the FC was still doing).

All the very best, and enjoy it! We'll look forward to the Intros diary!
Lolapola x

Also - Soft play is fun all the way up to 8 and beyond! The other weird thing though is taking them out to normal 'kids things' but all the kids are in school! Expect Ghost Town soft play!

Thanks - I thought simple would be best - loved the treasure hunt idea Lola, as you said, good for letting the wee one explore the house :-)

Great post Tyke as DH and I will need some ideas in the not too distant future (January), assuming all goes to plan, although we will have a littley as well of around 18mths.

Look forward to reading you intro diary if indeed you wish to share. It's not the oldies that like reading them!

Always good to see others ideas and how they do things as you can pick up hints and tips and maybe even adapt them to fit yourself or your children.

X x x Ladybug x x X

Meant to add, (as you are new to the boards), if you haven't already read the threads 'pinned' at the top of this board I suggest you might like to do so, especially "Intro's and Beyond" lots of really useful advice in there.

Certainly not you Moo!    I am an oldie in many ways but a newbie on here!