Six month cycle

corkwing
ASB

Married Adopter; one kid accomodated under Section 20

Posts: 2,118

Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 7:05:50 GMT

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Post by corkwing on Sept 26, 2014 7:05:50 GMT

We think that Mackerel has, in his brain, a primitive memory that he moves on every 6 months. It was the average for his placements before he came to us, including breaking down a foster placement after 6 months. When he moved in, his behaviour would deteriorate significantly every six months as he tried to reject us before we rejected him. After the third episode, when it nearly worked, it wasn't so extreme, but was still noticeable.

Since returning to care he's broken down two foster care placements after about 6 months and has now been in the care home for 6 months.

Which may explain why we keep getting woken up by phone calls to say that he hasn't returned and they're about to phone the police.

Normally he comes in about 30 minutes late. Last night it was 1 a.m.

They were very kind: they didn't ring Kermit and wake her up. Unfortunately she didn't sleep well as she was worried about him.

She's going to try to talk to the manager today and suggest that they only ring us if they are really worried.

I have 1 wife, Kermit, and 7 kids. 3 of them - Mackerel, Fairy Basslet & Sprat - are adopted

serrakunda ASB Single Adopter Posts: 4,965	Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 7:12:11 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by serrakunda on Sept 26, 2014 7:12:11 GMT That's interesting, could be worth exploring with all those professional types supposed to be helping ?
	Mum to the 'hansom' Simba, age 19 and 40 now retired teddy bears and FC to Special K, age 12

lilyofthevalley ASB Single Adopter and ex section20 parent Posts: 413	Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 8:34:57 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by lilyofthevalley on Sept 26, 2014 8:34:57 GMT I think you're right to try to protect yourselves. You're powerless to do anything and the anxiety just plays on your mind. Does he have any sort of therapeutic input? Lily x
	Adopted my two children 22 years ago, when they were aged 6 & 7. We had many problems. They were eventually diagnosed with ADHD & FAE. DD with Dyslexia, Dyspraxia and PTSD. DD was very ill with ME for 3 years. Now in their late 20's, have settled down a lot. DD works. DS has a young child.

twoplustwo
ASB

Posts: 527

Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 9:19:13 GMT

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Post by twoplustwo on Sept 26, 2014 9:19:13 GMT

You are probably spot on about the six monthly cycle. When I was child we moved houses a lot and, when I finally got my own house I rearranged all my furniture at intervals and, if I could afford it, bought a lot of new furniture, appliances etc which approximately matched the time when my subconscious mind expected me to move house. My mother pointed out the likely reason for this.

I've lived in the same house for a long time. It took at least 15 years before I stopped feeling the need to shift furniture around.

I think it's definitely worth mentioning it to the 'professionals'.

I'm also glad to hear that Kermit is going to protect herself from the worry.

Mom to BD (far older than I'm going to admit to - living nearby) and AS, Stig (15 - creating chaos at home). Supported by best friend (aka wonderwoman).

corkwing ASB Married Adopter; one kid accomodated under Section 20 Posts: 2,118	Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 9:34:17 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by corkwing on Sept 26, 2014 9:34:17 GMT Hi, Lily - Yes, there is some at the care home, but I doubt that he engages with it much. It's with the same therapist that he saw when he was 6. Didn't engage then, either.
	I have 1 wife, Kermit, and 7 kids. 3 of them - Mackerel, Fairy Basslet & Sprat - are adopted

peartree ASB Married Adopter and S20 parent to blossom aged 17 and 2 others at home Posts: 1,286	Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 15:02:19 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by peartree on Sept 26, 2014 15:02:19 GMT I've found setting the 10pm-7am ringing us curfew helps when blossom is missing We get some if broken sleep that way Much love xx
	Mum to AS (19) who is home, AD ( 17) who isn't and BD (7). Lucked in when married my best friend and became a mummy. Partial to a cuddle and a cuppa tea....

Deleted
Deleted Member

Posts: 0

Six month cycle Sept 26, 2014 17:01:52 GMT

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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2014 17:01:52 GMT

Think PT is right to do the phone call curfew. There is no point in staying up all night worrying when he will probably be found safe and well before sunrise, that way you can face whatever needs facing feeling stronger after a full nights sleep. Let the shift workers/police deal with the late night worry.

ham ASB Posts: 1,536	Six month cycle Sept 28, 2014 9:42:35 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ham on Sept 28, 2014 9:42:35 GMT so agree re phone calls. as you seem to have identifeid a stress area for Mackerel may be some work needs to done with him on that he does not need to move every 6 months
	Single mum to a mixture of BC and AC all young adults.

Post by corkwing on Sept 26, 2014 7:05:50 GMT

Post by serrakunda on Sept 26, 2014 7:12:11 GMT

Post by lilyofthevalley on Sept 26, 2014 8:34:57 GMT

Post by twoplustwo on Sept 26, 2014 9:19:13 GMT

Post by corkwing on Sept 26, 2014 9:34:17 GMT

Post by peartree on Sept 26, 2014 15:02:19 GMT

Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2014 17:01:52 GMT

Post by ham on Sept 28, 2014 9:42:35 GMT