Jeremy Kyle here we come!

Well poor old Ds (19), after going out to lunch with us to meet middly...because she had been missing (sort of missing from unit but certainly around) and of course he had not seen her at all despite being asked by the police and family and knowing that she was not in any trouble but people were worried he ever returned after the lunch...that was 5 months ago, now this was not a huge surprise, the problems he was running/hiding from were rapidly making their way to our door.  We sort of knew where he was, the only way we could get any messages to him was via middlly, middly's unit were concerned about the relationship between the sib....you don't say, but things change and middly is not talking to DS, middly has been battered by him, the unit call the police she wont talk to them....these blooming trauma bonds know no boundaries.  Ds eventually turns up at our home, we later find out that is because he thought littly was still staying with us and she had promised him some money to pay off some of his debts....give me strength...he owes thousands and littly was going to give him her clothing allowance of about £50.  Well the long and short of it is we make it clear that we are not in a position to pay off debts/court fines/bank charges, we most certainly want to support him but he cannot stay with us, when he does he just does nothing and we have to take a tough approach to ensure that he does something for himself...he nods and agrees that by going to the police who have warrants out for his arrest and giving himself up they will not put him in prison but will arrange probation etc and they in turn can help with benefits housing etc...yes mum you are right you always are right I eill do it, we then ask what happened with middly...he starts by saying "I got in touch with Dad and told him to sort her out as she was saying stuff", I the most calmest way I could made it very clear that nothing justifies beating up your little sister, and the stuff she was saying was all true anyway, he answers...well she's my sister...told you trauma bonds have no boundaries.

He did not go to the police but was arrested several days later during an affray, kept in the cells for three days and two nights went straight to court, has a probation order, 80 hours community work and several appts lined up.  One of which we know he missed, and according to facebook he is now in a relationship with a 16 year old girl and is very loved up and has moved in with her and her mum....so JK here we come...now what should I wear.