ruby7
Bronze Member

Approved prospective adopter
Posts: 96
|
Post by ruby7 on Aug 21, 2014 7:37:18 GMT
Apart from the obvious, e.g exchange/ activity days. Searching be my parent and children who wait, the adoption register. Are there other ways of searching for children. Or for LA's to get to know you?
|
|
|
Post by ladybug on Aug 21, 2014 9:20:48 GMT
Have you tried Adoption Link UK? Some of the children on there are the same as on BMP and CWW but not all. And I feel there is a little more info on the children.
X x x Ladybug x x X
|
|
|
Post by moo on Aug 21, 2014 10:25:21 GMT
I sooo remember the frustration & feeling so very helpless... All control over ones life is gone....
Try to keep busy it will help.... Send out you flyer containing your profile & 'wish list ' to all in your la consortium... You never know if ff see them there's is always that " chance "
Good Luck.... I hope your wait between panels is a short one....
xxx. moo. Xx
|
|
|
Post by vickyvixen on Oct 18, 2014 18:23:35 GMT
It is sooo frustrating - and I've not been approved that long. My main frustration at the moment is trying to get invited to an activity day! I can't even go to one because they've got too many people wanting to go! Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh! But still smiling 
|
|
|
Post by vickyvixen on Oct 19, 2014 18:34:51 GMT
Yes I've been to two exchange days so far - the last one had no - no! - little girls aged 4-8. It's all a bit mad at the moment. I am also trying to be as proactive as possible. Good luck!
|
|
|
Post by chotimonkey on Oct 24, 2014 21:34:33 GMT
our ff said that with most children she puts in somewhere like cww or bmp she usually gets a lots of responses and will look at photo and the one page pen picture/ profile/ flyer, selects between 5-10 of those and then asks for more info, so those have to sell you at your absolute best. when we approached her through cww for our children i wrote the following specifically tailored to the info on the squirrel's profile, it had mentioned mainly her ethnicity, her age and development, the need for sensitive parents who understood issues children taken into care at birth may face and had a robust support network.
We are recently approved adopters (with xxxxx, although we live out of borough in xxxx) and are very interested in finding out more about squirrel, who was featured in the November issue of Children Who Wait. We have attached our profile from xxxx borough. Although we don't have the full information about the girls, we think we have the potential to be a good match to squirrel and potentially for the following reasons...
Both chotimonkey and mr monkey have friends with children of squirrel's age and have spent time with these children and are aware of the needs of this age range. chotimonkiey has completed an 18 month mother and baby observation with a focus on the early years relationshiops and how attachments are formed at squirrel's age and the importance of attuning to the child and letting them show you their biological, social and emotional needs. Through her child development and child psychotherapy course, chotimonkey has attended weekend seminars on strategies to help children build attachments and cope with serious loss. It has also helped her to understand, that even though squirrel was taken into care at birth, she will still have had suffered the loss of her birth parents and then her foster parents and understands that grief is a complicated process which takes a long time to work through.
We have a supportive family many of whom live within five minutes walk of our house and a very child centred network of friends and neighbours.
we are both from mixed race families and although we are not an exact match for squirrel's ethnicity, we have a deep understanding of the importance of celebrating all aspects of a person's cultural identity and we have both embraced each other's cultures, showing that we are open and receptive to new cultures. Our understanding of xxxx culture is that there a lot of similarities to the way that chotimonkey was brought up, within a form of Islam that is not as strict as other Middle eastern communities and encourages for women in dress and opportunity, which dovetails with the way that chotimonkey was parented. The area we live in is ethnically diverse and the school that three streets away is very committed to prmoting and celebrating individual cultural identities.
Our sibling relationships are also very important and although we know with adopted children, sibling relationships can be difficult as different children will have had different early experiences we would be very willing to consider adopting squirrel''s unborn sibling, should they be taken into care and should it be in the best interests of both children.
We hope that you will consider us as a potential match for squirrel and possibly her sibling, our social worker's details are:
hope this helps... good luck
|
|
|
Post by vickyvixen on Oct 25, 2014 15:20:45 GMT
Thanks Choti - it's quite hard getting anything out of SWs at the moment - even rejections! I am being very polite too and sending a 'thank you and please keep my details on file' email to the SWs who do respond. It'll happen when it happens. I think the exchange days upset me a bit as it made me realise how many people are after so few children. But I'm a bit more relaxed about it now. It's really odd - I can't even get invited to activity days as there is a huge waiting list all around the country. They weren't something I wanted to go to but lots of older children seem to be finding their families at them. I'll just keep on trying! Thanks again x
|
|
|
Post by chotimonkey on Oct 25, 2014 15:36:00 GMT
It's so frustrating not to get any responses, it's not personal, for squirrel out sw had more than 50 enquiries and she had loads more children she was finding for, so I can see why they don't respond to them all, but is so disheartening.
I think this is a v hard time to be waiting for children as current govt wisdom mean they are approving more adopters more quickly for less children...
Things to enhance your profile could be v specific experience/ training to the type of children you have been a Approved for eg age range/ siblings etc, your la prob runs all sorts of training you could ask to be in on, which could be funded. Diff types of experience with your age range
Getting involved with local organisations, adoption groups etc
All this stuff looks good for linking and matching and more importantly is v helpful after...
Lots of sympathy for the wait tho, it's so horrid, but worth it in the end
|
|
|
Post by chotimonkey on Oct 25, 2014 15:38:33 GMT
Also I was wondering if there is any way to volunteer with your/ neighbouring las helping out at adoption week/ recruitment events/ training if you get the sws you are volunteering with to know and like you, it might help keep you firmly in their minds
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 25, 2014 19:28:07 GMT
VV, I do what Choti does: send an extra email after the initial enquiry with a bit more detail about my experience with caring for 'difficult' kids with similar issue to LACs, it gets their attention (although it isn't put quite so eloquently and detailed as Choti's - that's sooooo good).
I went to an exchange day and was shocked, like you, at how few children there are, crazy, significantly less than 6 months ago even. It is helpful if there's a child you've "enquired" about and you do get invited to an event where they're likely to be profiled - to go up and chat to anyone there from that LA. I did that the other day, she was the FF in fact and said did I have experience of X so I reamed off the issues I dealt with re: a certain child and she stopped me once she got that yes, I well ticked that box. Whether it turns into anything - who knows but I think you can only put yourself out there. By chatting to the SWs there, they remember a real person rather than a photo or profile info.
As to getting on the Activity Days - just email BAAF to see what dates they've got planned in your area which aren't yet on the website and see if they can put you down for it. Have you emailed that National Register to ask if you can be considered for the Adopters access: it is only a pilot scheme and I understand that it's only prospective adopters whose LAs are participating that get to have the access (can't remember if you're with LA or VA)
Hang in there all of you like me still waiting: we will get there
x
|
|
|
Post by vickyvixen on Oct 26, 2014 12:21:18 GMT
Yes we'll get there Knight - fingers crossed for the lo you talked about. Getting information from BAAF about future activity dates is like pulling teeth - even with my SW hassling them too! I have been sending my flyer with covering email to SWs of children I've enquired about in an attempt to stand out from the others. I have also tried to be child-specific with my response. I'm not too stressed at the moment as I've not quite finished my house and I'm assuming things will start to slow down again in the run up to Christmas. Everyone says this part is the worst don't they. Friends from my prep group are meeting their boys tomorrow which us really lovely - the first from our prep group to get matched.. Thanks for all your suggestions re volunteering etc - it is a really good idea and I think I also need to list out my experience a bit more relating to the age range that I'm looking for. Good luck to everyone else searching as well :-))
|
|
ruby7
Bronze Member

Approved prospective adopter
Posts: 96
|
Post by ruby7 on Oct 27, 2014 19:34:27 GMT
We are pursuing a link and found out they will be at an activity day but BAFF have said it's not right that we go as we may 'hog' the children ( my words obviously) this is nonsense, they have already been to one Activity day and no joy ...and the SW seems keen on us. We are mature enough to ensure we 'work the room' and allow others to experience the children... it would just be good to meet and interact with them. I think the SW goofed, she should have just sent us to the activity day and kept quiet if that's the way BAFF play it. We met our previous link like that and were 'sold' once we met them....this feels like just anger obstacle for children to get adopted. 
|
|
|
Post by knight on Oct 27, 2014 20:02:19 GMT
Ruby, that's crazy: can't your SW just confirm/reiterate that you will not "hog" the children, that you fully appreciate that the day is for the children, to find the family for them which you accept may or may not be you (just for the sake of saying that although the fact is that all things are subject to change on both sides); that your SW understands that several prospective adopters go to Activity Days just to meet (and not hog) the children (I spoke to a couple recently who said just that - a child was there who they fell for, all seemed to be going well with FCs reactions etc; waiting ages to hear something) and were eventually told that the child had already been linked and was there for the previously linked people to meet the child!!! (in fact in these situations, if an LA are pretty fixed on a prospective link, they shouldn't mislead other prospective adopters on the Activity days that the children are "available" for possible links when clearly they are not; if a prospective link is just a tentative link, then fair enough to take the child provided the LA is then open to a new person who goes who may be a better match). Gosh, it's just a minefield isn't it !? or, can the children's LA not arrange for you to go to the FCs for a "cup of tea" visit or maybe to a play area where you "happen" to be there?? or, can the placing LA push BAAF on your behalf for you to go to the Day?
x
|
|
ruby7
Bronze Member

Approved prospective adopter
Posts: 96
|
Post by ruby7 on Oct 28, 2014 17:51:19 GMT
Yes minefield indeed, we might have to push for a 'blind' sighting , so watching them in a park or something, feels creepy...!!
|
|
|
Post by vickyvixen on Oct 29, 2014 17:22:28 GMT
I have found it a nightmare trying to get to an activity day (ironic as I hadn't really wanted to go to one). My SW rang them, I've had about 8 emails from them and I still can't get to one! Seems a very convoluted process and, of course, there's a ginormous waiting list to go. I can't even get into the waiting list - I believe I'm on the waiting list to join the waiting list! And, of course, because of all the security for the kiddies they won't tell me an activity day is full until my SW fills in the referral form and sends it to them - even if it is my SW asking! Oh well, you've got to laugh!
Good luck Ruby - fingers crossed for you :-)
|
|
|
Post by spideress on Jun 14, 2016 11:50:12 GMT
I think this is only a year or two old but we have been told to put our profile on "link maker"
|
|