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Post by swimchic on Sept 22, 2013 17:01:28 GMT
So Miss Pink is doing really well. She likes school, she sleeps 11- 12 hours a night, no bed wetting concerns and generally is a very bright and happy 4 year old.. BUT, dear god, my patience is being tested at meal times and I'm wondering if anyone can help... She eats almost everything. Fruit, veg, fish, chicken..etc and I'm not complaining. However, she takes up to 40 minutes to eat her meal.I have tried giving her smaller portions, getting her to choose meals, dish up in front of her and letting her dish up, we cook together. She is in La la land a lot of the time and it is very frustrating. Any tips to get her to eat quicker?. I may have to resolve to a reward chart...  Thanks in advance Swimchic x |
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Post by serrakunda on Sept 22, 2013 17:23:02 GMT
Simba once took 90 minutes to eat a meal, 40 of which was spent on an apple................ drove me insane for months, good thing I was on adoption leave or I would never have got anything done. No tips I'm afraid just sympathy, we have got a lot better
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Post by haze on Sept 22, 2013 17:36:05 GMT
Same here for youngest but with the added extra of extreme fussiness.
We ended up having a timer for an agreed number of minutes 60 to start then we as she began to finish within the time it was gradually reduced. We rarely need to use it now but if she is being awkward we usually give her 20 mins now (she is 12) & after that we clear up. The tim was recommended by cahms as for her food has always been about control rather than about being a slow eater.
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Post by mr.vml3m on Sept 22, 2013 17:39:03 GMT
Same here with my youngest. Always been such a slow eater, tried everything but the answer is to just let her plod on.
She will eat everything and anything but she just takes soooo long!
One thing that has helped is to use bigger plates. The amount of food looks smaller that way and less daunting. (Restaurants use the opposite trick, smaller plates make it look like you have a b
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Post by pluto on Sept 22, 2013 17:39:21 GMT
Do you know the reason?
My youngest ate snail speed but this had to do with controle and it stopped as soon as I no longer waited for him to finish, and if he had not finished his dinner by the time I had finished desert he would not get a desert. You see first I had that rule we all wait until everyone is finished eating, this just gave him controle. When we just finished and left him too it without much attention it was not so funny anymore.
I would just take the time it takes extra to eat away from time watching tv or playing games after supper. It really is a natural consequence if you spend time dreamimg instead of eating the time is finished for fun things, and the child can go to bed after supper. You do not even have to get cross or annoyed with the child.......
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Post by mr.vml3m on Sept 22, 2013 17:39:36 GMT
Oops, Bigger portion that should have been!! Flipping iPhone!
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Post by moo on Sept 22, 2013 17:42:03 GMT
Was wondering like haze weather it is a control thing or just slow.... I would guess the former.... Timer sounds a great plan....
Poor you it must be impossible to get going or plan around..... 
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Post by swimchic on Sept 22, 2013 19:01:34 GMT
Thanks everyone, such speedy replies!!!
I think it could be a control thing, however, she isn't fussy about the actual food. Its all stuff she eats and likes. Its just the speed. But I am very glad and reassured to hear that a lot of you guys out there have the same issue.
I have done the 20 minute timer thing, but the frustrating thing is that she will eat it in the nick of time. We carry on with our meal and yes, she loses out on tv time if she is slow.
Think I'll keep an eye on things and see what happens.
Thank- you for your support and suggestions.
Swimchic
xx
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Post by leo on Sept 22, 2013 19:24:29 GMT
We have had similar issues here. I have one child who is a human hoover and food just disappears off his plate, the other is terribly slow and when tired or stressed has issues with swallowing.
It drove me bonkers for months and I too tried a timer - which sort of worked but came with added tantrums (both mine and his).
I felt thoroughly ashamed of myself though after talking one day to his therapist about it and I was saying that he chewed each mouthful what seemed like a hundred times. She pointed out that as a child who quite probably had unpleasant things put into his mouth, he was more than likely scared to swallow anything. I felt awful that I had been nagging and moaning at him for so long. I started to blend all his food so it had no lumps and he ate with no problems. After several months he asked me to stop blending it and has eaten much better since then.
He is still a little slow (not helped by the fact I am a fast eater and his brother even more so) but I tend to get him to start his meals earlier than us by just a few minutes and this seems to help. I can also then quite reasonably say (if he hasn't finished by the time I have), 'Oh, you don't seem that hungry tonight, don't worry about finishing' and take his plate away. Doing that has never caused any meltdown - although I do always let my children have their dessert regardless of whether they have finished the main course.
Not sure if this would be of any help to you but it had never even crossed my mind before the therapist said it to me so thought I'd pass it on just in case.
Leo
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Post by monkey on Sept 22, 2013 19:37:59 GMT
Our LO is 5 and has been with us almost 2 years. She has always eaten everything put in front of her. Sometimes she will eat at a normal pace and sometimes she is much slower. It's only recently that she's started to express a preference and we've realised that some of the things she eats really slowly are actually things that she doesn't really like but hasn't had the knowledge / understanding / felt safe enough to say so.
Just something else to bear in mind.
MMx
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Post by phoebe on Sept 22, 2013 21:26:45 GMT
Swimchic, my eldest has always had issues with food. He is 14 and it was only this year that I discovered that BM had tried to wean him at 3 months leading to multiple choking events and the beginnings of his fear of textures etc. I would strongly advise taking off the pressure about the time it takes. Anything which raises anxiety levels will make eating worse, and what are you really going to do if the control gets to the point of total refusal? Will you try to force lo to eat? It's a hiding to nowhere. Just be around but don't necessarily sit over whilst they eat. You could start clearing etc once you finish, just chat lightly but not about the meal. Please don't forget, food was a nurturing early experience to you, but may have been torture for your lo.
Phoebe x
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Post by swimchic on Sept 23, 2013 19:16:00 GMT
Well, today has been a good day.
No problems at all with eating. In fact she was quick.
We went to a dance class this afternoon which was a lot of fun and then the library. When we got home she played on her trampoline. I did make her portion sizes smaller and quite a plain meal. She also ate a little earlier.
I praised her and explained that she had time for a longer bath and more tv time as she had done so well, which she was very happy about. So we'll see, but it was a good start to the week.
:-)
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Post by kstar on Sept 24, 2013 16:06:08 GMT
This was highlighted as an issue with Starlet from FC although I have to say I don't see it every mealtime. One thing that did help was to divide her plate into two, what she had to eat and what she was allowed to leave. I would say 90% of the time she cleans her plate - sometimes somehow knowing that she doesn't HAVE to eat everything removes the anxiety about it, if that makes sense.
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Post by piglet on Sept 24, 2013 19:10:00 GMT
My LO has lots of problems in this area. Every now and again we have a row about it. This morning she made a massive show about eating her cereal really quickly and then spent so long eating her apple that we were running just as behind as usual.
Her controlling tactics in all areas would be amusing if they weren't so frustrating!
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