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Post by amberle on Jun 30, 2014 22:23:45 GMT
Day 1. So today was the day that we met finally our daughter. Now before you read anymore let me tell you one thing. I am sooo tired, so tired infact I nearly did not write this until the morning, but I wanted to still write whilst the emotions are flowing ... and just to remind you those who will be going to intros when people tell you to sleep as much as you can .. listen.. So DH and I leave with time to spare, all nervous and excited and with the inane grins, we have had on our faces for a few weeks. We arrive there 10 minutes early and are sitting outside in the car, politely waiting for the time to tick away.. and as each minute passes our nerves are becoming worse and I swear you could hear our hearts beating .. anyway about what felt like hours but really was about 2 minutes, the lovely FC opens the door with a big smile and calls us in .. big gulps, intakes of breath .. this is it .. I say to DH. Well DH's backside to be more accurate. He's already out the car and heading to the door.. lol. (it's a shame the thought of a Hoover does not make him move as fast). Anyway in we go .. we are the first to arrive, so we do a little polite chat, suddenly with our tongues tied .. but soon FC has us at ease, tells us a few crazy things that LO has been doing over the weekend, suddenly it's all relaxed,and nerves don't go but relax a bit. Next our SW arrives..then the remaining people for the meeting. It's all very civilised, a few changes due to people's timetables.. Suddenly intros are being extended .. WHAT? We look at each other in silence but know what the other is thinking,..then it changes again, only an extra day .. do we agree ? Yes of course we agree? We are here, we are here to see our daughter..we would agree to walking on hot coals, if the meeting would go faster.. lol. But we remain quiet, as things being discussed around timetables are not really to do with us .. phew timetables all sorted, timings when, where and how all sorted we all agree, paperwork and then it's all very organised again..we finish. They wish us luck, and then they leave. We look at each other again, these crazy grins are back..FC leaves to collect LO who is just around the corner. We are there in the FC house..OMG we are just about to meet her, do we stand up, sit down, go back to the dining room? And then she is here ..we get a "what are you doing in my house look" when she comes in, but we join her on the floor, playing bricks..and you can see her relax, or maybe that's just us..lol. Phew that's my 1st worry out of the window..she did not burst out crying as soon as she us..lol. Anyway we decide as the weather is nice we will go and feed the ducks..2 mins out she's asleep, and she is so cute. DH is pushing the buggy, it's natural it's just so natural.. We chat with. FC about all sorts f things, feeding, sleeping playing everything. Time flies, we stop for lunch.LO still sleeping. (she had lunch before we met her) so we did not need to worry today..anyway just as we left sandwich shop LO woke up, looked at all of us and gave DH the nicest smile. That's was a definite memory that will stay with me.. Anyway we went off to feed the ducks (although think LO ate more bread.. lol). Then we walked home.. All relaxed all happy, loaded our car up with bits, and bid LO bye .. We are back tomorrow, and the plan is..just Mummy and Daddy with LO all day...so here we are shattered, so tired I can't explain, but still with the same silly grins on our faces that we woke up with.. Hope it all makes sense, will amend or add anything tomorrow .. I really need to sleep tonight xx
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Post by lovelybee on Jun 30, 2014 22:28:57 GMT
Wonderful, just wonderful! Sounds like a perfect start! So happy for you with a tear or two in my eyes! Can't wait to hear more - have logged on so many times tonight to read your news! Good luck and lots of love Sweet dreams about your new family
LB x
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Post by moo on Jul 1, 2014 5:46:35 GMT
Oooohhh moo just loves intro diary's......
Thanx so for posting..... Intro diary's always bring my own wonderful wonderful memories come flooding back....
Oh yes the tiredness I was hanging!! Think it was worse coz the journey to & fro was just sooo long & being just me I had no one to share the driving with....
Please please drink your echinacea laced tea to take your pills.... The tiredness really does increase & you will be run down in no time...
That has got to be my top intro tip by a mile... You so want to be at your best tip top for being able to enjoy every moment....
Soo looking forward to today's update.... Hope you get time but recharging your batteries is more important....
Congratulations........
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by ladybug on Jul 1, 2014 5:49:21 GMT
Bless you!! Sounds like everything went great and couldn't have been better. So happy for you that you have met your daughter!
X x x Ladybug x x X
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 1, 2014 7:16:00 GMT
Wow. Tears in my eyes. x
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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2014 7:23:57 GMT
Awh sounds perfect. Glad it went so well and LO didn't scream the place down. Looking forward to hearing more.
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Post by amberle on Jul 1, 2014 7:53:11 GMT
And so here we are in day 2. Just about to set off . ..feel a little more human today, wow could not believe how tiring yesterday was...it is funny when. Have read all the other diaries about tiredness, I always thought yes I would be tired, but hey I work hard, do long hours..can't be much different. WRONG!!!!! This is a whole other level of tired...so take note intro to be ers.. The wise words of the wise ones on here need to be digested. Moo I even started with the enchinea tea today, on the basis that to get a bug, or even a cold at this moment in time..I think would just about do me..lol. Anyway bits brought home yesterday were put away this morning, and the very first piece of clothing ( a jacket) has been hung on its own baby hanger and placed in the wardrobe..that's it guys, that is the moment I realised yes this is really happening... . were told yesterday that bedding now not coming, luckily we brought some, so will be washing that tonight and setting up..before tomorrow..anyway need to go..have to go and be mummy for a day catch you all later xx
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Post by giggles on Jul 1, 2014 8:29:32 GMT
Brilliant start. Just a quick thought while I have a moment, could you give your bedding to FC for LO to sleep on and then bring that home all smelly of baby??
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Post by moo on Jul 1, 2014 11:19:32 GMT
So glad to hear you are managing echinacea brill....
Also had a thought innocent smoothies or pure fruit juice the ones not from concentrate are also great full of vit c & d... Help ward off sniffles & exhaustion....
It is the emotional turmoil I think that causes such levels of pure exhaustion....
Picturing cheesiest grins!?. Mine finally faded many many months in!?? Then came back almost immediatly coz then it was Christmas.... & boy was that moving.... Unbelievable one just never to forget .... First Christmas.....
Hugs to you xx
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by loadsofbubs on Jul 1, 2014 14:03:25 GMT
your feelings through the planning meeting is exactly why my LA now does first meeting with child before the meeting!
very surprised that day 2 is you on own with LO all day, very fast, would be day 3 or 4 here at the earliest even with 'short' 5 day intros. was day 6 for squishy munchkin and his went really really well from the off. hope it goes well.
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Post by nomoretears on Jul 1, 2014 15:08:15 GMT
LOBs, you've written the two points I was going to write! How long is day 2? Must be a bit daunting, for you AND baby, to be alone if "all day" is more than a couple of hours... There will be heaps of things you've not covered with FC yet and I'm surprised a SW has agreed to this plan - whilst at the same time extending intros?? I'd be happy to leave new parents for short periods on day 2 but would be putting my foot down about all day. I was also a bit surprised at you being "allowed" (possibly wrong word) out for a walk on day one - my own LA insist day one is at home so there are no outside distractions and the first attachment bonds can be laid.
Anyway, all towns are different and I'm sure your own FCs would have objected if they thought LO would have problems with the plans!
I love the humour in your diary - it'll get you through a lot - and also the image of that jacket in the wardrobe! Beautiful.
Hope today has gone fabulously!
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Post by amberle on Jul 1, 2014 17:18:35 GMT
Hi all so day 2 is done..and yes cheesy grin is still firmly intact..so before I start on that there are several things I need to answer from previous posts. Day 1 was all of us out including FC for a few hours. The main reason being we have traveled quite a way, and FC wanted to make sure we knew where, the pond, swings, shops etc were for rest of week, so we were not left walking round the block ..it all made perfect sense and I thought it was a nice touch if I am truthful, and FC and I nattered away about stuff, whilst DH was pushing the buggy. I was tired day 1 so maybe don't explain myself well.. Day 2 whilst I will explain how it all went..we had LO from about 11 until 2ish.. Then played with her at FC house for a hour or so and came home. In that time LO also had lunch, and an afternoon siesta.. I hope that answers things, and stop you worrying. FC was comfortable with things, and from my view she knows LO better than anyone, and is definately the sort of person that will let you know if it needs to change. X
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Post by amberle on Jul 1, 2014 17:47:46 GMT
So then day 2...
We arrived a few minutes early, but this time instead of sitting in the car, we were out of the car and knocking on the door, faster than A fast thing on a fast day..
So when we got there, LO was dressed and as we came in the front room, she looked up and yes gave us a little smile. Not one that would light up a room, but enough to tell us she recognised us and that we had not been so bad yesterday..phew ( day 2 panic over with)..
So today DH had decided our buggy needed to be used..infact he was quite adamant about it..as we are going " all terrain" it was perfect. I think he means because we were walking to the shops, and feeding the ducks..which meant walking through the park..all terrain, but hey whatever keeps him happy..lol. Anyway her little bag was packed, her lunch, nappies and all things we would need..wow how much stuff does a little person need ? We need a buggy, because if you think I am carrying that lot for a few hours in this heat...
Anyway on went her shoes, in she went to the buggy, and off we went. We had not even got to the other side of the road, and she was sparko..( smug grin from DH at this point) and also a comment about the suspension...ahhhhh I have unearthed a buggy nerd..lol.
Anyway our plans had to be rearranged as with LO asleep, we could not do how we planned..anyway off we set. Got into town and with LO still asleep, we stopped at a cafe for a cuppa..just like a little family. It was all very civilised and other than DH and I staring at our sleeping bundle of joy, we. Would of probably passed for any other family out there today..
So after our cuppa we decided we had a few things to buy still as conversation earlier with FC highlighted we had missed a couple of things..so off we went in search of the well known baby shop..
On the way there we bumped into FC and just had a quick chat, LO was still asleep, and she was happy with things.. So off we went to shop, went into the shop and collected our couple of bits, and then LO woke up.. This was it, this was the tell tale whether we would be heading home or our plans would continue. But LO opened her eyes gave us both a sleepy grin, and just sat there watching the world around..result! So off we went, fed the ducks, stopped for lunch, played on the swings..back to FC s..stayed there for a bit, playing with noisy toys, yep you know the ones..the ones that are all coming with her..but you know what watching here trying to dance to the music, playing row row row your boat, makes it all worth while..they can be as noisy as they like.
So we come home, laden with more bits, and tired but no where near as tired as we were yesterday..still happy, still in a little bubble of happiness, and still yes still with those silly grins..
Xx
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Post by amberle on Jul 1, 2014 17:49:40 GMT
PS.. Just so you know.. All terrain means walking through the grass and not following the pathway...
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Post by knight on Jul 1, 2014 17:54:56 GMT
Sounds like things are going wonderfully, lovely to hear your intro diary x
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Post by moo on Jul 1, 2014 18:13:44 GMT
Yay..... Sounding great.... Love the idea of an all terrain buggy.... Would need one on the farm that's for sure!?!? Prolly tank tread in the wet winter!?!
So pleased you are less tired today... Longer hours as the week wears on.... Have you changed your first nappy?... How about dh who got the smelly one?!?
Lovin' your explanation of events shared... Fabbo.... She sounds adorable xx could feel your mummy pride at being the little family in the cafe....
Keep it comin'
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by flowerpower on Jul 1, 2014 19:02:46 GMT
Loving reading your intro sounds wonderfully .
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Post by nomoretears on Jul 1, 2014 19:48:05 GMT
Wonderful! I'm so pleased things are going well for you.
Which buggy do you have? I'm a pram nerd too! As for the amount of stuff a baby needs, wait until you have an overnight trip!! Forget the buggy, you'll need a cart!
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Post by loadsofbubs on Jul 1, 2014 19:52:17 GMT
Glad things are going well and that 'all day' was only three hours not literally all day!
Still early IMHO to be out and about with LO without the fc present, not becoz you cant manage but is a huge ask of a LO to be fully relaxed and comfortable with total strangers, and if this is the case that would for me raise some questions. I cant think that any of my small people would have managed this on day 2, even if they gave the impression of being fine when out with new parents there would have been significant fallout once they'd gone and my own insistence with my bubs on a strictly built up over time timetable of intros takes this fallout into account.
I'm not this LO's FC or SW, but it would cause me to be concerned if it were one of my LO's.
But anyway, hope it does all go swimmingly without any major fallout for LO or yourselves.
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Post by loadsofbubs on Jul 1, 2014 19:53:38 GMT
I am known locally as 'The Pram Lady'! but coach built ones more than modern buggies, though have had several of those too!
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Post by amberle on Jul 1, 2014 20:51:47 GMT
We have an out and about buggy..v3 nipper or something similar. . Lol
Will check with FC again in the morning how LO was.. We did check this morning, and she said all was fine, so we can only o on what we are told.
And sorry if all day sounded like all day...it is all day for us, as we have all the travel too.
Tomorrow is just another few hours with FC coming over to us in the morning, ( late morning) so LO can see house.. Will update you tomorrow.
Night x
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Post by nomoretears on Jul 1, 2014 21:10:51 GMT
Amberle you should be in bed!!
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Post by ladybug on Jul 1, 2014 21:31:18 GMT
Sounds like it is all going swimmingly!! Enjoy hun and get plenty of rest x x x
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Post by moo on Jul 2, 2014 5:07:31 GMT
Oooh home visit today.... Enjoy seeing your little one at home.... Really special.... Don't forget photos..... ( I did f/c not too helpful & didn't take any other than the compulsory 2... Wish I had more.... )
Have Fun xx
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 7:01:07 GMT
Not to put a dampner on your intro's Amberle, but I agree with LOB's about it being very soon to be out with LO without the FC and TBH I am a little concerned that LO didn't seem to look for FC when she woke up from her sleep.
A child of that age would normally want re-assurance from her primary carer when waking and finding herself with two strangers. The fact that she didn't seem bothered is a little worrying IMO.
I think that's what LOB's was refering to, normally a baby of that age looks for it's mum/FC/primary carer especially when they've been asleep. It's called seperation anxiety and babies of around 1 usually suffer from this. I would have expected a little distress or anxiousness not necessarily full blown cries or wailing.
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Post by amberle on Jul 2, 2014 7:18:40 GMT
Guys, I will talk to FC today when meet I promise..
Not updating yet, as although still very excited, am now a bit concerned with comments above ..which d ont get me wrong i really do appreciate. So need to have a chat with FC and go from there...
Xxxx
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 7:22:45 GMT
Sorry Amberle no one wants to burst your bubble, that's the last thing any of us what to do, but maybe yesterday was a one off, you may see more unsettled behaviour today, which is actually a bit more normal IYSWIM.
That's all we are saying that it is more normal for a littlie to be a bit distressed if they can't see their FC/mum and maybe she will act out a bit more today.
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Post by amberle on Jul 2, 2014 7:30:05 GMT
Hi JMK.. Its fine, reality check now and again does not hurt anyone. I really do appreciate the comments, I am not going to lie it does make hard reading, when you are on a high thinking everything is going well..but that's what you join these forums for, advice support and general chat.. Not that it probably makes much difference, but LO has always been easy going, not grizzly and just goes with the flow..and yes all tests etc have been done to check no.withdrawals from in utero. But let's see what today brings.. Ps ..you can't burst this bubble, it's been 15 years building Xx
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Post by pluto on Jul 2, 2014 10:11:03 GMT
We need to see a picture of the buggy!
Enjoy this time, it is very special. You know what? it is all be true about attachment but for most adopted children attachment is not the primary problem, it is asd, ld, ptsd, fasd etc, etc. Just make sure you 2 are the only carers the first year or so, do loads of attachment games, anything what promotes attachment, do not visit the whole family week 1, or take the child to disney land etc, etc. Try to be confident around the child, do not let others tell you better. They are not going to like it if they are not allowed to have the child on the lap, cuddle it etc. Be prepaired. Sent with the announcement a little information about how you want them to behave towards your child. Do not fall in the trap to go into discussion about it, tell people to call after 2100 to discuss.
Have a good time, thanks for sharing!
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Post by loadsofbubs on Jul 2, 2014 10:46:24 GMT
after so many babies through my house I have offended a lot of people by following the advice pluto gives (coz I do likewise, well, other than Disney land but had had the bbs some time by that point!). it really does pay dividends! plus you get to keep little one to yourself more which after 15 years i'm sure you're keen to do!
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