Ever lasting friendships from prep course? Good or bad

I'm not in touch with anyone from my prep courses. Everyone was ok but to be honest I had nothing in common with any of them, other than wanting to adopt so I can't feel it as any great loss. I don't think I'd ever reply to an circular email that I wasn't interested in getting them, a bit blunt and unnecessary, I just delete. Because it's so 'easy' it's become the done thing now at the end of any sort of training course etc to swap email addresses. I could be on about 20, but it's too much, I cant keep up with them. If there is anyone I particularly click with I stay in touch with them, not try and keep on with the whole group.

I went on a course for parents of children with ASD/ADHD, there were about 14 of us, i volunteered to do the email list. I organised a get together, four other people came, the four that I thought would come. For a few months I emailed the whole group with details of the next meet up. No one else ever replied so I stopped emailing them, now it's just the 5 of us and we meet every month or so. The others don't want to be involved, that's fine, it doesn't bother me. As you move through the process you will find people. One of my newest friends is someone I got chatting to in the sauna, she isn an adopter but has a soon with ASD/ADHD and I just overheard her talking to someone else about him and we just got chatting.

On our prep training we all swapped emails and phone numbers was surprised that initially the lady who initiated swapping details didn't reply but did eventually. I have had responses from all that I have emailed or text in the end! We only reach keep in touch with one or two but one of those is more than the other, we have met up with that couple once since for a meal and a chat. We quite often keep in touch via Facebook but haven't heard from her for a while.
We just share our experiences of our journey so far and how we are feeling. It's almost a year since our prep group training.

I think meeting at a prep group is kind of un natural if you think about it. You are all completely different people with just one thing in common - you all want to be parents, but unlike a pre natal group, you don't all have the same due date and your children may arrive at different times.

Some will find a child really quickly and some may take ages and it can be very hard if you are the last or only one to not have a child yet, if you have to continuously hear about every one else having a child placed, have to send cards/presents etc and this is the problem.

Also some of you may be enquiring about the same child/children if you are in the same borough and that can cause problems too.

I did meet with and got to know a lady in my local Auk group and realised that I had been interested in her DD. She had been on my list of kids to enquire about, but I hadn't pursued her as my own DD's came through and her DD was a single child and we were approved for two. I never let on to this lady that I had been going to enquire about her DD as I thought it was better left unsaid. This lady did join our adoption toddler group and stayed in touch with us for a while, but once her DD started school she drifted away, despite another friend of ours constantly phoning/emailing her, she just didn't need us any longer and drifted away. I still hear about her from time to time through others in our group and apparently her DD now has a degenerative condition that means she will eventually end up unable to walk, which was very upsetting to hear.

Is there an Auk group in your area? It might be worth joining in with them as most of them organise "girls nights out", family walks, picnics etc and that is a good way of meeting up with adopters where you can suss out those you think you might get on with in a less competative environment than a prep course. I met loads of adopters through our Auk toddler group and am still friends with two of them 12 years later. Some of the others are people I would call acquaintances and it's nice to catch up with them when we bump into each other on courses etc, but we don't stay in touch in between, but the two good friends are really worth it as our children are friends too and we have been on holiday together etc.

We exchanged emails and everyone updated as they were placed, but I didn't meet anyone their I particularly clicked with...
Also like jmk says it's not the sane shared bonding exp that something like nct might be because everyone's timescales differed and were placed with diff ages/ needs/ siblings etc so sharing wasn't always relevant.
I know I found the end of our approval process v hard, we had one issue that our sw temp manager got stuck on and we had 3 months of delayed panels additional meetings and stress, I know at that time I selfishly could not bare anyone else's good news stories as I felt so far from my own... Once we were approved that changed but maybe it's people just protecting themselves a bit... Also being approved at the same time by the same borough you are potentially up against each other for some of the same Children, our sw had put someone else forward for squirrel before we came along and I'm glad we didn't know them or whether it was someone from our prep.
I didn't feel ready to meet other new adopters till after squirrel was placed and I felt like an adopter myself (we had met lots of Exp adopters through making the decision to adopt and talking to everyone we could)
Think it prob different for different people

I've kept in pretty good contact with most of ours. Helps that one couple live so close I drive past their house every time I go anywhere at all - and another live about a mile away in same town. We just all seemed to click and speak quite frequently - although not quite as much at moment for a number of reasons. We are lucky in that we have an LA supported Adoption Stay & Play every week during term time so we often meet there. Slightly less now two Mums are back at work but still meeting up a bit - and planning meetings in summer for all of us to meet.

Of the 10 that started my prep group only 4 of us have continued - 2 of us singlies and a couple. I am the last one waiting to be approved but I recently celebrated with them as they were approved on the same day. We go out once a month or so and I am so pleased to have these new friends in my life. Things will inevitably change when we have children placed but no one understands the adoption highs & lows like fellow adoptees!