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Post by scaredycats on Jul 18, 2014 9:38:33 GMT
I am waiting until Panel is over next Thursday to tell friends and wider family.
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Post by lovelybee on Jul 18, 2014 10:14:57 GMT
Hi scaredycats,
You will be laughing about stressing about the buggy in a few weeks time! I changed my mind 3 times before we bought ours! You can always use your car seat in the buggy till LO can sit unsupported that's what we did till babybee was 5.5 months and if the buggy lies flat LO may be ok from when they come to you though most may say from 6 months in the blurb. (I think LO will be about 5 months from memory?) Even if your car seat isn't directly compatible you can usually buy adaptors.
We didn't tell most of our friends and wider family till after matching panel. We also made introduction cards with photos of our girls a few weeks after placement through paper shaker. Read something like "introducing babybee! Born ***** Came home *****
This has all happened so quickly you have hardly had time to process let alone prepare. I am assuming intros will be about 5 days long. We had 4 days of intros with babybee and still squeezed in time to go to baby stores to buy essentials we had forgotten. It's natural to want to be super prepared and have everything perfect but it doesn't matter if that is not the case. We did some decorating too just before babybee came home and all our pictures are still waiting to be hung up!
Good luck.
LB x
PS weaning is so so messy!! Enjoy!
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 18, 2014 12:59:47 GMT
Thanks, LB, LO will be 5.5 months when he moves in with us. Loving the idea of introduction cards and will look up the site you mentioned. Intros will be 5 days (placement review meeting will also take place on day 5), then, if all looks to be proceeding well, we take him home on day 6!!!! Scary? - yep!
Do you think I need to put anything about not taking or sending photos of LO through social media?
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Post by lovelybee on Jul 18, 2014 13:23:47 GMT
I just told people when I saw them about not posting photos or info about LO on social media but I did send some friends and family the AUK leaflet about funnelling so they would know not to pick LO up or feed them etc.
LB x
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Post by gilreth on Jul 18, 2014 14:34:45 GMT
We sent a letter round extended family (and DH's immediate family) and friends about how to deal with Sqk initially. My immediate family was less of a concern as my sister is an adopter - and had her second child placed 7 weeks before Sqk. Also did moving in cards for people - including our cul-de-sac so people knew where this new mobile child had appeared from. Your timescale seems like ours in September - we signed paperwork for panel before we met FC or pediatrician given tight timescales.
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 21, 2014 11:57:59 GMT
Wow!!!! 5-6 days is a good length for intros for a lo. How much time does dh get paternity to take with you. It's a v special time to reform as a unit of 3!! Los need far less than you think, esoecially clothes because they grow so fast and won't be in loads in this heat: find out what they are coming with in terms of clothes toys and bottles etc as you don't want to replicate stuff and it's nicer for the transition if you are using their familiar things Break it down into categories to make it less overwhelming and you can do loads online: Feeding: Highchair and bumbo Bibs Steriliser Formula Bottles Maybe a baby weaning book but you can access it all online Couple of bowls and spoons Stash of baby rice type stuff and stage one stuff Most good change bags come with a special bag for keeping stuff warm/ cool. Bed Cot Blankets/ gro bag Baby monitor Books Toy and bedding you can sleep with then pass on to FC to get lo used to your smell, then bring back with lo We have a gro egg temp night light thing Maybe blackout blinds if they are used to them, we've never bothered. Clothes Way less than you think, lo will prob come with stuff for this size, a couple of bits in the next size up but you don't know if lo will have growth spurt or slow down a bit on placement, either can happen Nappies Wipes Nappy bags (We put ours straight out into the main bin and hVe never bothered with nappy bins). Good change bag... Worth spending a bit more on because you will use it ever day for ages!! Travel Sling Buggy Car seat Have to go as lo2 is waking up but maybe others could add to this as I hadn't finished
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Post by moo on Jul 21, 2014 15:14:09 GMT
Great list from choti...
Chunking a good idea re lists & items needed.... Sooo excited for you..... Time will fly till the 8th August....
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 21, 2014 16:25:42 GMT
Medicine... Bonjela kiddy Baby calpol and nurofen Sudocrem There's a yellow nappy rash cream that comes in a yellow tube that begins with m that's v good Baby antihistamines for bitey outside insects
Bath Kiddy shampoo Baby oil for massage... Neal's yard do a nice gentle one Soft towels and robe Couple of little toys to look at that you can stick on the side of the bath
Toys again... Less than you think, lo will be v busy taking in new surroundings
We sent out photo homecoming cards and (unsolicited) we got a lot of vouchers and bought new stuff as and when we needed it.
Iots of lovely books
For our first we bought the most amount of ridiculous stuff, completely unnecessary we out a lot in the loft and never thought about it again!!
Having said that I've prob forgotten all sorts of stuff
What a brilliant summer of baby love you have to come
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 21, 2014 19:50:50 GMT
Thank you so, so much CM for the list! I hadn't even thought about getting medicines in - how terrible of me! Spent the day with my dad today - 7 hours of putting together flat pack stuff: cot, bookcase, chest of drawers. The painting is still on-going, poor DH is up the ladder again. Tomorrow the in-laws are coming over and we're going buggy shopping - they are donating £600, which is really kind of them - so hoping to find something close(ish) to that. Need to start thinking/ preparing for Matching Panel on Thursday (well, as much as anyone ever can prepare for Panel!). Then DH and I are going away for the weekend for a break before it all kicks off :-) Can't quite believe it's all happening - will feel like I can really let rip after Panel though. My sister wants to plan a very small (my request) baby shower, so that will be lovely (never thought I would ever attend one).
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Post by serrakunda on Jul 21, 2014 20:09:39 GMT
Exciting times! I had a baby shower, even though Simba was 7. My friends very kindly obliged with 'it's a boy ' balloons and cards. The balloons were still going when Simba came during intros, he loved them as well
Enjoy !!
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 21, 2014 20:27:52 GMT
Fantastic! Serrakunda :-)
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 21, 2014 20:31:27 GMT
CM: DH will take the Friday, Monday and Tuesday off as annual leave (luckily intros run over the weekend) then he'll take 2 weeks off work after LO comes home on the Wednesday :-) Great!!
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 22, 2014 7:32:22 GMT
I had a baby shower too ...
Squirrel was 16 months at placement but now at nearly 4 (gulp!) loves looking at pictures of the cupcakes and cards and presents and all the people that were there because they were so excited she was coming ... I took pics of everything, some of the messages, balloons, car full of leaving presents at work to keep for their life books
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 9:51:16 GMT
Am soooo glad you and DH are having a w/e away Scaredycat, you need to be fit and well and rested before intro's and LO coming home, so don't wear yourself out getting everything perfect at home. LO won't notice if the painting's not finished, but he will need parents who are not dead on their feet from doing all night DIY.
Sooooo exciting that you are nearly there!!
Remember, as Choti said to keep all the welcome cards etc for his life story book. My DD's love to see all the cards and reading everyone's comments about them coming home. I've told this before, but when my parents adopted me, my Mum wrote a letter shortly after I came home, to her cousin who she was very close to, and in the letter she described me and how excited and happy she was etc. The cousin kept that letter and gave it to me when I was 21 and it was sooooo special - I still have it and I still treasure it.
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Post by moo on Jul 22, 2014 13:24:51 GMT
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 22, 2014 15:09:40 GMT
2 days to go until Panel! Just finished the painting!!!!!!
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 22, 2014 17:01:29 GMT
SPA hotel booked for next weekend! :-)
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Post by knight on Jul 22, 2014 17:07:34 GMT
ooooohhhh, nearly there !!!! How are you feeling? Good as others have said that you're having the wknd away, enjoy x
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 22, 2014 17:25:00 GMT
Thanks, Knight. How am I feeling? That's an interesting question. Many different emotions: - Scared at being parents for the first time and not knowing what to do!
- Worried about other people's reactions to the adoption and what questions we are going to be asked - have composed a letter based on a template I found on this forum about introducing baby/ younger children who have just been adopted - hoping to mitigate some of the questions and educate a little bit re language etc.
- Excited about finally becoming mummy and daddy after over a decade of waiting!
- Can't wait to cuddle LO again and see his beautiful face.
- Hoping we get on well with the FCs and that there are no areas of tension.
- Nervous about Panel!
- A bit strange that, after nearly 20 years of just me and DH, there will now be someone else! ;-)
- Stressed about the many things we still need to do/ buy in preparation for LO coming home - we don't even know how to fix car seat into car!....
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Post by sooz on Jul 22, 2014 17:39:07 GMT
All sounds very familiar scaredycats lol!!
I remember my ex and my dad went away for the weekend about two weeks before snooz came home, I was sat at home by myself contemplating doing a runner!! Terrified haha.
Xx
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 19:31:57 GMT
- we don't even know how to fix car seat into car!....
If you buy car seat from Halfords or Mothercare they will fit it for you and show you how to do it, if it's one you remove.
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 22, 2014 20:18:56 GMT
crazy mix of emotions... i remember it well... i think i have my list of original m,atching panel questions somewhere if you want it
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 22, 2014 21:34:47 GMT
Thanks, CM, yes please if you can find them! :-)
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Post by moo on Jul 23, 2014 9:12:37 GMT
Oooohhhhh is it just one more sleep ..... Soooo exciting.....
You must be dizzy.... Well done for booking a spa.... You need sleep echinacea & more sleep in preparation..... Soooo happy for you xx ( goody another intro diary coming up )
xxx. moo. Xx
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 23, 2014 11:32:04 GMT
I'm just happy to have finally finished painting the hall/ stairs and landing - no mean feat considering all the wood panelling that had to be done!
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 23, 2014 11:33:14 GMT
Yep, one day to go, Moo! Cant wait to be able to tell everyone!
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 23, 2014 13:05:34 GMT
matching panel questions:this is an amalgamation of all our matching panels, i have taken out all the stuff about bringing in new siblings why this little one? how do you think your life will change and how will you adapt to this change? what do you think the biggest challenges will be and how will you meet them? how do you think your support network will support you in the early stages? how will you promote lo's cultural/ religious needs? how will you promote a healthy lifestyle (was a random ofsted hot spot at one panel)? how do you think it will change your relationship and how will you still make time for yourselves and each other? what are you most looking forward to about becoming a parent? what are your worries about becoming a parent? how would you cope if lo attaches to one parent more than the other? how will you support attachment in the early stages? how will you approach life story work with lo? how will do feel about proposed contact and what will you do frm your side to make it meaningful? at the moment bps are not engaging in letterbox contact, how will you explain this to lo? how have you explained the importance of funnelling to friends and relatives? how much time are you both taking for adoption leave/ how would you feel/ cope if lo needed you to stay off permanently/longer. it seems like a long list, but for squirrel we were asked about 4 questions, and for howler and george we had approval and matching together... howler they grilled us (they were having ofsted at the time and had ofsted inspectors in our panel) but for george they barely asked us anything and half the panel (who knew us pretty well by then) cried when they called us back in to give us the good news... i cried like a baby at all 3 when they said we had been officially matched!! got it all crossed for you (Great list Choti - Have copied it to add to the Matching Panel Thread pinned at the top of this Board. jmk)
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 23, 2014 13:06:43 GMT
oh and as for car seats... i have had all ours fitted by the people at kiddicare and then never taken them out again!
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Post by scaredycats on Jul 23, 2014 13:10:09 GMT
Thanks so much, CM, these questions came just in time. Will go through them tonight with DH!
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Post by chotimonkey on Jul 23, 2014 13:31:11 GMT
in a weird kind of a way i always enjoyed matching panel... i had the terrible jitters the night before and the morning of panel, but like you, we had already had intros set up, ss had booked our accomodation and everyone was talking about 'when lo is placed you can do blah blah blah' so i always felt it was going to happen.
our panels have been really nice and genuinely overjoyed to match one of their children
we have three pics of dh and i doing victory poses outside our panel near the la logo that we have for the children's life story and after each one we went to the toy shop and it has become a tradition for dh to buy them a ludicrously oversized stuffed toy...
such lovely exciting times for you
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