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Post by frankieswife on Jun 3, 2014 14:09:18 GMT
Sorry I haven't been posting much recently. I work in a very open-plan office and I have some very nosey desk-neighbours. Luckily, I'm by myself today so I thought I would pop in to see how everything is going. It's so exciting reading some of the Diaries ( ladybug & amberle). I was reading through them and it suddenly hit me like a brick wall; we meet our Son in 8 days time!! We're still waiting for the ADM to ratify the MP decision, so I've been desperately trying to keep myself calm......but I don't think I can any more. It's all felt a little unreal up until now. We've waited such a long time to get this far, you just get used to keeping yourself in a mental 'holding pattern'. Does that make sense? Suddenly, something just clicked and now I feel so much excitement (maybe I'm a little slow )! I think I should pinch myself to check that I'm not dreaming.
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Post by kstar on Jun 3, 2014 17:36:05 GMT
Haha that's awesome! The days will fly by and soon you will be bringing your little man home :-)
Just be prepared for anything and everything during intros, it's such an emotional time and not always the amazing experience you imagine in your head. It will soon be over though and the rest of your life will begin!
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Post by lovelybee on Jun 3, 2014 18:23:32 GMT
Congratulations and good luck! How many days left of work? Such exciting times. Hope you have some nice things planned as a couple the next few days too!
Can't wait to hear all about you meeting your son! LB x
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Post by ladybug on Jun 3, 2014 18:28:34 GMT
Oh how exciting Frankieswife!! I get you can't wait So can not wait until we get to that point, hoping that isn't in the too distant future. X x x Ladybug x x X
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Post by amberle on Jun 3, 2014 19:47:04 GMT
Wow how very exciting...8 days..I'm excited for you. So what are you doing to stay in the holding position. I think we need all the tips we can.
Please keep us up to date, it really is great reading other people's diaries..you really can learn so much whilst joining them on Thier journey.
Xx
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Post by frankieswife on Jun 4, 2014 7:58:43 GMT
Haha that's awesome! The days will fly by and soon you will be bringing your little man home :-) Just be prepared for anything and everything during intros, it's such an emotional time and not always the amazing experience you imagine in your head. It will soon be over though and the rest of your life will begin! I'm feeling really nervous about intros. I'm fully prepared that it might not be the fairytale meeting that I have thought about for months/years. He's got a really good attachment with his FCs (which is brilliant) so he's going to be very wary of us to begin with. His FCs have been amazing. They've sent us photos nearly every day and we've had a bit of text chat in between that; hopefully that will make it easier to meet them. Frustratingly, we aren't due to have our planning meeting until after we've met our Son for the first time. We'll meet him for an hour and then we'll have the planning meeting. Is that normal? Not knowing how long intros are going to take/when we will get him home is really frustrating. I just can't believe it's all actually happening now!
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Post by frankieswife on Jun 4, 2014 8:01:31 GMT
Congratulations and good luck! How many days left of work? Such exciting times. Hope you have some nice things planned as a couple the next few days too! Can't wait to hear all about you meeting your son! LB x Thank you lovelybee! I've got three days left including today - eek! I've got a couple of days in between finishing and intors, so I'll spend that time washing all of his clothes and bedding in the same washing powder and fabric softener that his FCs use. Is it sad that I'm excited about doing that?!?
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Post by scaredycats on Jun 4, 2014 8:38:13 GMT
Wow, frankieswife, so exciting! All the very, very best as you start this amazing journey.
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Post by frankieswife on Jun 4, 2014 8:51:49 GMT
Oh how exciting Frankieswife!! I get you can't wait So can not wait until we get to that point, hoping that isn't in the too distant future. X x x Ladybug x x X It doesn't sound like you'll be long either. I've loved reading your diary - it's really helped to bring it home that we are actually going to be parents (and I need to get my butt in gear and get my head round it like you! ) xxx
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Post by frankieswife on Jun 4, 2014 9:03:53 GMT
Wow how very exciting...8 days..I'm excited for you. So what are you doing to stay in the holding position. I think we need all the tips we can. Please keep us up to date, it really is great reading other people's diaries..you really can learn so much whilst joining them on Thier journey. Xx Mainly being ostrich-like and concentrating on work. My last day is on Friday, which I'm so excited about but at the same time it's completely freaking me out. In the years that we spent going through treatment, etc, work was what I concentrated on to take my mind off of everything that was going wrong. I've obviously just reverted to my default setting and now everything has totally crept up on me. I'm struggling to get my head around the fact that I'm finally going to be a Mummy and I get to spend time at home getting to know the little tinker You know when you spend so long trying to get somewhere and all you get is bad news; I think I've just gotten used to feeling like that! I need to keep reminding myself that this is happening (hopefully; expecting the ADM to ratify the panel's decision today - god I'm such a pessimist). xxx
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Post by frankieswife on Jun 4, 2014 9:05:09 GMT
Wow, frankieswife, so exciting! All the very, very best as you start this amazing journey. Thank you scaredycats - that's really lovely of you. xx
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Post by frankieswife on Jun 4, 2014 9:08:57 GMT
Yes, it's official, frankieswife.... You ARE slow! Tee Hee! Many congratulations. x D'oh! I suspected as much Thank you so much madrid. xx
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Post by leo on Jun 4, 2014 9:20:44 GMT
Congratulations - at 8 days to go to introductions I hadn't even been to matching panel! We had held the planning meeting though! Not supposed to have done but they were desperate to move as soon as possible so all was set and just ready for the confirmation from matching panel.
I do think every LA does things differently though and I have heard of similar - ie. planning meetings being held on the first day of intros. Sounds a bit bonkers to me - you're going into it blind almost. Don't think that would have done my nerves much good and I definitely wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the meeting having just met and then left my children for the first time. Maybe it's something they do more for littlies who they can't prepare so well with 'Mummy and Daddy are coming on ...day'?
Leaving work is such a big thing when it has become your safe haven and you have focused on that to push away all other thoughts in your head - but although work had completely been my entire existence for over fifteen years, I found I barely gave it another thought once I met my two. You will have so much other stuff - panic, sleep deprivation, nappies, gorgeous smiles etc to keep you busy in just a few weeks that it may well be easier than you think.
If you have time between leaving work and intros then maybe doing things like preparing meals or at least a 'menu' for the weeks ahead may help. I found it so much simpler to come home from a day of intros knowing that I had food in and it just needed heating up. Another thing I did during that time was to make a rota for my family/friends of who was going to what to help me during intros and those first few weeks - so my Dad knew that on Wednesdays he was coming to cut the lawn for me (and he did this for an entire year bless him!) On a Thursday my friend would bring round a meal for me in the evening after the boys were in bed. On a Monday, my brother would bring round some shopping for me (in an evening)... It really helped keep me in contact with people without having to make any effort during a very busy and stressful time and also made sure some practical support was already there in advance as a safety net. I know I'm single so that makes a difference but think it could be useful for couples too.
Good luck - and don't forget the intros diary or Moo will be very upset!
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Post by amberle on Jun 4, 2014 11:33:16 GMT
Hi FW we sound very similar. I am indeed waiting for a call, letter to say there has been a delay etc.. And have used work as my focus. But hey hopefully we are only a little way behind you..although have not even got a time for MP next week, which I stress about..lol. DH is not worrying, he says that during our CH meeting this week we will get all the information we need to. And whilst he is right it does not help me stressing..lol.
Anyway please do stay in touch with a diary or similar would be great to experience it all.
Leo wow you sounded very organised, xx
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2014 11:43:39 GMT
How exciting Frankieswife. Hope you've read all the pinned threads at the top of the board. Loads of really great tips for intros and the early days of placement in there. Well worth a read to refresh yourself before bringing LO home. And yes definately do an intro diary - we all love reading them and hearing how you are getting on as it always reminds us oldies of our own intro's.
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Post by chotimonkey on Jun 4, 2014 12:33:55 GMT
Ohhhhh what wonderful news to read!! Congratulations!! I'm such and adoption softie it brought a little year to my eye... Even if you don't know intro plan you can start getting organised by cooking / freezing stuff so you have lots of ready made stuff in the early days, stock up on chocolate and wine... I'm not a sweet tooth, but I was so tired in the early days that I craved chocolate like it was going out of fashion... Make up age appropriate busy bags so you can whip different ones out at different times And do something super special and grown up for yourself, you deserve it for getting to this stage... Well done you!!
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Post by moo on Jun 4, 2014 17:50:57 GMT
Ooohhh f/w I am the bonkers one who just adores intro diaries....... Please please try an post us a bit!?,?
By my standards you are in no way slow.... It really didn't hit me until I was standing outside the f/c house with her waiting to go in ( after planning meeting... ) baa appeared yelling mummeeee as f/c opened her front door & then. It hit me.... Yep totally nuts I know but I really didn't " believe" I had to sit down quick I felt winded, sick, terrified & elated all in one go!?!? How I didn't pass out I will never know....
I, I think was one of the lucky ones it was love at first sight.... Even baa & skweek still remember that first meeting it was truly magical.... The whole time the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up!?! I couldn't stop grinning or thinking woweeeee first day of the rest of our lives.. I was wobbly for days!?,? Enjoy your last days of work..... Stock up the freezer..... Getting meals on intros is tuff.... Or plan on having takeaways for a week....
Good Luck .... Set yourself up your own thread for an intro diary
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by kstar on Jun 4, 2014 18:30:13 GMT
I had my planning meeting after my first meeting with Starlet too and I actually really liked it. I was so much more focused and settled having got the really exciting/ nerve wracking bit out of the way! I did have a plan on paper in advance and had spent a lot of time discussing it with my SW first. The planning meeting wasn't particularly helpful, we just went through the plans and discussed timings, transport to/from my house etc.
Good luck :-)
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Post by knight on Jun 5, 2014 19:36:51 GMT
Oooohhh, FW, very exciting: it's just around the corner, wonderful. Do try and post a little, we love it as Moo said. Not long now and it will all be real x
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Post by gilreth on Jun 7, 2014 12:57:38 GMT
We had our planning meeting after meeting Sqk for the first time - and it was good that way I felt. Good luck and I bet time is flying now....
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Post by amberle on Jun 7, 2014 14:07:14 GMT
Another day closer, how exciting FW.. Hope you are spending the day relaxing, chilling . Xx
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Post by milly on Jun 8, 2014 7:25:11 GMT
Congratulations. It is a great age but very full on ... get lots of rest while you still can!
We had three days of intros with our first dd BEFORE planning meeting - that was many moons ago, and I am not sure we were supposed to officially but no one seemed to mind! We had waited months after matching, not knowing if the adoption was going ahead due to a legal delay. Then one evening our sw rung us to say it was on and gave us the phone number and address of fc (who we hadn't met) and we went round the next day by ourselves. It was then the weekend so planning meeting was on the Monday. I remember it chiefly for DH being so besotted with dd, who was on his lap, that he didn't pay attention to anything that was said - so I had to try hard to concentrate! Things have changed now - the 'plan' wasn't as it should have been either, but heigh ho, we are all doing ok 12 years later......
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Post by peartree on Jun 8, 2014 21:59:05 GMT
How many sleeps? So exciting! I felt nervous and a bit numb when it came to it, my head commitment kept me going because I wanted to do this. So you don't know what routine lo is in yet? Get those early morning alarms set
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