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Post by ladybug on May 10, 2014 17:30:43 GMT
I'm not panicking as such. We've been apprehensive all the way through before each stage but none of it has been as bad as we had imagined it to be.
I'm just trying to find things that I think we should ask but some of it is how to ask about certain things although I am sure our SW will help us with that. At least I hope so, don't want to ask a question and word it wrong and look like a complete dumb*ss!
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Post by amberle on May 10, 2014 19:19:18 GMT
No question is a bad question. If you need to ask ask..they are there to help and give you as much information as they can. X
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Post by ladybug on May 10, 2014 20:47:35 GMT
Amberle did you ask many questions at your selection visit? The visit is at 10.30 and they are apparently going to be here for 2 or 3 hours!! Not sure if biscuits are enough or if I should offer lunch too.  X x x |
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Post by nomoretears on May 10, 2014 21:14:22 GMT
I've been caught out many times with the lunch or no lunch dilemma. Now I tend to have some nice bread in and a few different meats or cheeses then I can quickly make up some sandwiches if needed. And cake!
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Post by moo on May 11, 2014 4:56:01 GMT
Great tip from nmt..... My experience s/w love biscuits or home made cakes if you like to bake ( I did & was apparently famous for my farmhouse bakery!!? )
Not Q is a wrong 'un.... S/w like to see you have thought things thro & are excited about their l/o.... They need to see your commitment... Ooohhhh getting sooo excited for you brings it all back.... I sooo clearly remember sitting at my kitchen table meeting baa & skweeks s/w.... Ohh goosebumps xxx Hope this is it xx
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by amberle on May 11, 2014 8:42:44 GMT
Hi, we did ask some questions. Not hundreds to be honest as most of the conversation answered a lot of them. We asked about direct contact and meeting of BP's.As circumstances meant LO was supposed to be placed out of area, but because we are in area but only a mile from being out of area we were deemed far enough. So conversation around this. And that answered a lot of things..this led on to more questions about BF and situations mentioned in LO info we had been given. Asked about previous medical reports and any concerns. So we have a new medical report being completed, as I think they have to be less than 6 months old before MP can go ahead. Due to various drugs and drink being taken by BM we are also told we could speak to LO doctor but are yet to get the details for this.
Then we did general questions, with SW how long they had been LO SW..this had only been since Christmas, and they had only seen LO a few times, but had been getting regular updates friom FC. Then conversation led on to FC and how long they had been FC for etc etc..then just I suppose the usual ones, likes, dislikes, allergies routine..as a guideline..to be fair we did get this all from FC when we met last week.. Jeez I suppose in hindsight, I did ask loads..lol. They then wanted to see LO room, and then discussed next steps and that was it really.
We were told they would be here 3-4hours and appointment was at 10.30.. So I had done exactly as NMT suggested just incase. But SW was only here 1.5 hrs ish..so it was fresh coffee, some biscuits and some cakes..have to be honest I brought the cakes as I was scared they would go wrong and taste rubbish (I do bake) just not that day..lol.
Hope that helps xx
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Post by nomoretears on May 11, 2014 12:16:03 GMT
Excellent question about SW Amberle - the LOs I care for get allocated a new SW once their placement order is made and that SW may only meet them a couple of times. I've had a couple that barely knew the child at all, only what they'd read of them. You'll get a much clearer picture from their FC (I find SWs paint the child in the "best" light they can - despite me insisting that prospective adopters be given a warts n all picture).
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Post by ladybug on May 11, 2014 18:49:32 GMT
I had to vax the living room carpet this afternoon, a little OTT you may think and usually I would agree with but I managed to get bright blue paint on it whilst painting letters of the alphabet to go on the front of the shelves we put up as book shelves!!  Didn't think bright blue paint on a dark beige carpet looked very good  But not only did it go on the carpet, it went all over the table up the wall and on the mirror  I don't do things by halves! X x x |
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Post by amberle on May 11, 2014 19:11:24 GMT
Aww bless you.. X
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Post by nomoretears on May 11, 2014 20:23:20 GMT
Ooo Ladybug, you'd have been on the thinking chair in my house for that!... Strictly no paint in the living room.  |
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Post by ladybug on May 11, 2014 21:18:48 GMT
NMT I thought I was grown up and careful enough to do it in the living room without making a mess!!! Clearly I was wrong lol Of course I had to confess to DH when he came off of his nightshift!  |
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Post by knight on May 12, 2014 9:21:47 GMT
Heck ladybug, that's stress you didn't need.....hope you all of the paint out...didn't realise the vax cleaners could be so powerful, super. x
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Post by flutterby on May 12, 2014 10:28:43 GMT
Hey, I would not worry, if the stains did not come out. I would probably relay the whole saga to the social workers anyway, say, how nervous I was about the visit and how excited I just wanted to do something creative. Just shows you are an enthusiastic, lovely person who cares.
Presumably, that is what they want for the children they place? ;-)
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Post by moo on May 12, 2014 11:09:39 GMT
Aaahh ladybug it's not just me then that does ' bonkers ' stuff then,....
Now I think back I do remember 'losing my marbles ' around the stage you are at now.... Couldn't concentrate on anything just daydreaming about the upcoming meeting etc.... Could not have been left in charge of operating even a hose pipe without fear of flooding the county!?,  So I think to successfully get the paint stains out is a major achievement.... Hang in 'M ' ( meeting f.f. ) day another sleep closer.....
Good Luck with the last minute 'stuff'...
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by ladybug on May 12, 2014 18:31:55 GMT
Oh no Moo! I am quite literally bonkers |
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Post by ladybug on May 13, 2014 9:02:12 GMT
13th May 6.30amYes I am awake without an alarm and no work today!!! What is that about? Decide to do a bit of a spring clean 1) because the house does need it and 2) because of our visit tomorrow 10amCan't decide if I should have some breakfast or just crack on and load the car and go to the tip (so the driveway looks decent) and then bake a cake or two! Any off I must dash, busy, busy, busy! TTFN my lovelies! x x x
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Post by moo on May 13, 2014 16:44:59 GMT
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Post by knight on May 13, 2014 17:49:33 GMT
How are you feeling now Ladybug: is everything done and dusted ready for tomorrow x
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Post by ladybug on May 13, 2014 18:13:49 GMT
I'm feeling ok at the moment Knight but have been baking cakes and getting tea ready for the last hour or so! Pretty much all clean and tidy.
We've got our 30 odd questions ready! I went from thinking I have no idea what to ask to suddenly not being able to stop writing questions down!! I've printed of OFSTED reports for the infant school we'd like the older LO to go to and also OFSTED reports for 2 of the nurseries for younger LO, got a list of toddler groups locally, soft play centres, parks, beaches and the zoo!!
Just need a little more research on developmental delay as both girls have delayed speech and language and younger one has some social and emotional delay and they said about a possible referral to Portage.
X x
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Post by knight on May 13, 2014 18:20:51 GMT
Great Ladybug to have so many questions, shows you've thought as much through as is possible at this stage. Let us know how you get on tomorrow, we'll be thinking of you. x
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Post by ladybug on May 13, 2014 18:29:19 GMT
I need the ground to open up and swallow me, our SW just phoned and I thought if was my step-daughter wanting a lift. Answered the phone snapping "hello!" Oooops :-(
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Post by ladybug on May 13, 2014 18:34:15 GMT
I will let you know how it all goes. Hoping to find out if any other families are interested in the girls, hopefully not but whatever will be will be. As long as they choose us! Lol x x
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Post by amberle on May 13, 2014 19:32:19 GMT
Oh Ladybug you have been so organised, and answering the phone to the SW like that made me laugh..sorry. Xx
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Post by ladybug on May 13, 2014 21:30:29 GMT
I laughed after but at the time I was mortified! I apologised and told her I thought she was Lollipop but not sure that made it better because now she thinks I answer the phone to my step daughter like that! X x x |
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Post by amberle on May 14, 2014 4:37:19 GMT
Morning Hun. Just popping on to wish you all the best for today. I am absolutely sure it will be fine. Thinking of you.
Xxxxxxx
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Post by moo on May 14, 2014 5:05:05 GMT
Don't worry your s/w will understand.... After all there is nothing more important than this right now right??? This is the rest of your & your children's lives.... Has to be your focus after all....
Calming restful vibes coming your way....
Try to enjoy your meeting today.... You have given 100%..... If these are you daughters let the fates take a hand xxx
Good Luck....
Please keep us posted.... Will be rooting for you xx
xx. moo. X
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Post by lovelybee on May 14, 2014 6:42:29 GMT
Good luck today Ladybug!
Looking forward to hearing all about your meeting later!
LB x
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Post by ladybug on May 14, 2014 6:45:47 GMT
Thank you Amberle and Moo! I've been up since 6.10am and cleaned out the chinchilla, vacuumed the living room, stairs, hall and the girl's bedroom!
Cakes are already just biscuits to sort and make some fresh coffee.
Will let you know this afternoon how is goes! My stomach has just started turning somersaults, dh however is still snoring his head off!!
X x x
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Post by ladybug on May 14, 2014 6:46:46 GMT
Thank you Lovelybee x x
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Post by ladybug on May 14, 2014 6:53:40 GMT
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Didn't think bright blue paint on a dark beige carpet looked very good 
But not only did it go on the carpet, it went all over the table up the wall and on the mirror 
I don't do things by halves! 
So I think to successfully get the paint stains out is a major achievement.... Hang in 'M ' ( meeting f.f. ) day another sleep closer..... 
