Action stations and change in attitude needed!

We didn't prepare anything until we had a firm match and we weren't challenged on this.

We told our SW that we wanted to tailor the way we prepared the room for a known child. We did strip the room (it was previously a study), paint it white, get a new carpet fitted and get new curtains - but all of this would have just made the room nicer for an adult occupant, too. In other words, we didn't believe it either.

Once we had a match we did a mad IKEA trip and spent a fortune. Now that we are more established parents and don't feel I have to prove so much we get almost everything second hand - either from friends and rellies or from Ebay. Kids go through stuff so quickly that it is generally in very good condition. I can then buy some things new from really nice places.....

We were told NOT to do anything! Apparently it would make us seem too anxious!

Our sw told us that if we did buy anything then to keep it hidden and not mention it to the child's sw.

So, what we did do was decorate the bedroom in neutral colour and stripped it of anything other than a bed and a chest of drawers (the bed was old and would be getting dumped anyway).

I did declutter the house, we bought a small shed with a padlock for safely storing any gardening equipment, moved cleaning products from under the sink to a high shelf and generally rearranged stuff so it wouldn't be accessible to a small person.

We had decided which car seat/buggy/cot etc we were going to have and created a list on amazon so we could just click and order when needed.

I think it was a bit easier for us as ds was so small he wasn't even rolling over at that stage let alone crawling so we didn't have to worry about stair gates etc.

I would say, get a pen and pad and sit on the floor in each room in your house, look around from that level and note down anything that needs doing or needs moving. Rule of thumb, if you don't want them to touch something, move it out of reach or lock it away.

Other than that, just make sure any outstanding jobs in the house are done.

It's so hard, I was working at the time we were linked, covering maternity leave for a colleague who said 'oh I know how you feel, I don't know if I'm going to have a boy or a girl or if it will be early or late' ! I just nodded, but felt like saying, errr no, it's really not the same at all is it, I don't even know if I'm going to be a mummy yet! All the preparing the house feels like tempting fate doesn't it? Xx

We are filling in the matching form this week and have another meeting with SW next Thursday eve.
(let's hope it's not a 4 hour one this time!)

I think we are going to put down 0 - 12 months.

I think sometimes it depends on how much clutter you have gathered in your home.
If you are a bit of a hoarder the SW may just need you to move forward, otherwise when the children's SW comes round to see you and your home, you can go in to a bit of a panic.
I know I did, because you know she will need to see a home she can imagine the child/children in.

You don't need to spend lots we just got rid of all the stuff/junk we did not really need cleaned out cupboards (to make room for all the kids stuff) and painted the kids room very neutral and just made it a very basic guest room.

Then once we knew a little bit about our LO's we just brought a boarder and some stickers and changed the curtains.

But to answer your question, yes completely normal.

Hi, we have been exactly the same all the way through to approval panel which was all of 3 weeks ago. We have a potential link and were advised the afternoon after panel.so moving fast we know all about ..lol. Having spent over 15 years believing we would never be parents, it is still a little surreal but we have started to finally believe its happening.

Like others have said, we also decluttered, painted and got a new carpet. We also have brought a cot bed..covers up to 6 years of age.. So in my mind we are all covered..lol.

Good luck xx

I didn't do anything/buy anything until the very very last minute, i.e. During intros. Nothing like leaving it until the 11th hour!

Had been in process several years and knowing this SW was OK with it. Plus lovely FC helped with some items. Also, meant I was able to get her advice.

Did do some decluttering beforehand but partly because of home study and my anxiety about SW seeing my house etc!

Minnie x

Well, DH and I worked really hard over the weekend and the "baby's" (that feels weird saying that) room is nearly empty.

We've been filing, shredding, recycling and charity shopping things.

Got the man from the British Heart Foundation charity furniture shop coming over on Monday to collect lots of furniture from what was the office!

Next step is to give the room a good clean and fresh coat of paint.

Still no furniture ordered as wanted to clear things out first.

See, I'm actually feeling jealous lol xx

I'm so glad you mentioned this scaredycats as I totally felt like this.  If I'm being 100% honest with myself, I still do a little bit - which is silly but I can't help it.  I just think of all the years we spent waiting to be Mummy and Daddy and all of the knock-backs we had; now this IS finally happening but I'm still waiting for something to go wrong (I am such a pessimist).

Anyway, we started getting LO's room ready over the weekend and it definitely helps to make it all feel a bit more real.

Enjoy your trips to Ikea!

Awwww...that is lovely! I would absolutely love that too.
We bought a book for our parents called Related by adoption which explains a bit about the process and what happens once matched etc... It probably explained it better than we could have done but I think that helped them to understand a bit of what we were going through and what the children could have gone through.
X x

One IKEA trip down! It went really well (didn't actually buy much but had a really good look around and got lots of ideas) in laws were very sweet and seem really on board now, which is a relief.
Sister has now given me a list of things she can offer such as a cot etc. and a list of things we need to purchase.
SW saw one of our referees today and that went well and SW said we could be matched within weeks following Panel on 5th June!! (Scary)
Another SW visit tonight re finance - let's hope it's not another 4 hour meeting...

De-cluttering still on going.
BABY'S room now completely emptied and cleaned.
Next job to sponge down the walls and get painting.
Don't know if we will be getting a boy or girl.
Any ideas for a baby wall paint colour??