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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 15:31:22 GMT
This one is for the ladies only I'm afraid: at our last SW meeting she told me that we would have to say we are using contraception at Panel and actually I'm seriously considering the coil (after many yrs of no contraception) due to pretty horrific heavy cycles.
Can any of you recommend what to go for?
Experiences good/ bad?
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 17:11:30 GMT
Yes, do message me if you like as I know this is a personal one!
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Post by imp on Apr 15, 2014 10:27:42 GMT
Daughter uses coil, has caused her some problems as it is prone to 'wandering'
Have you tried implants?
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 15, 2014 13:44:50 GMT
Thanks, Toko and Imp, I haven't used any contraception for over 11 years and scientifically I know there have been a lot of advances in this area.
Apparently we have to tell panel that we are using contraception.
You can understand why as a pregnancy would seriously disrupt any adoption plans but, after being married for over 16 yrs with no sign of any birth children, it does feel a bit weird going on contraception.
However, I'm going to investigate these options you've mentioned as some of them may be good for controlling heavy, painful periods. Thanks! :-)
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 15, 2014 13:55:44 GMT
hi scaredy cats
we had to promise to be careful after matching panel for no 3... tbh we said we would then never thought of it again...haven't used contraception for nearly ten years and have the fertilty age of someone post menopause...we said we would be careful and then didn;t do anything about it... prob not v wise and i did have a scare recently... but im v loathe to put any hormones nor chemicals in my body i feel i don;t need...
we didn't have to prove we were using anything
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 15, 2014 14:09:56 GMT
Thanks, Chotimonkey, our SW seems to be quite adamant that she needs to say that we are using something to Panel.
I feel a bit like you in that I don't want to use something if it's not necessary but I'm going to investigate options...
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Post by ladybug on Apr 15, 2014 15:13:36 GMT
Hi Scaredycats,
DH and I were recently approved in Feb and contraception was not a subject that ever came up at all. Our SW did not asked all the way through our assessment nor did she say it was something panel would ask and when it came to panel they didn't ask either! I understand why this could be an issue. I have only ever been on the pill but stopped taking that approx 9 years ago.
Ladybug x x
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 15, 2014 18:21:46 GMT
Thanks, Ladybug, there is definitely inconsistency between LAs and SWs.
Maybe it's because SW knows we were trying for so long to have a baby and had many, many rounds of fertility treatment?....
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Post by donatella on Apr 15, 2014 18:38:13 GMT
Tell her you're getting in practice for parenthood - and not getting any!!
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Post by sockthing on Apr 15, 2014 18:51:21 GMT
::)So true!!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2014 19:02:29 GMT
Condoms, Lie   |
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Post by mudlark on Apr 15, 2014 21:31:12 GMT
we just said condoms and avoided ovulation days and left it at that...everyone, social workers, panel etc accepted it as true.... you know yourself well enough to take the right precautions if you need to.
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Post by moo on Apr 16, 2014 6:00:51 GMT
Reading this my brain kept screaming condoms.... Ovulation charts.... I would deffo not be putting in foreign bodies or chemicals... They can't force you....Do as mudlark said she did... What the....?!?!? If matched with twins where would dh get all that Xtra energy anyway!!!
Q never came up at panel .... My pet demon tried to bang on about it ( if you ever get into a relationship etc ) she (sadly for her ) found herself thwarted coz I went thro the menopause in my early 30's & medical & dr.'s report bore it out... She seemed most put out not to be able to bang on & on & on.... 
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 16, 2014 7:56:30 GMT
LOL, moo, your comment re "...where would DH get all the Xtra energy anyway!!!" made me smile.
Are we to say goodbye to that side of our relationship once adoption is complete?!!
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Post by pluto on Apr 16, 2014 8:11:27 GMT
Come on it is none of their business, yes if you would get pregnant this complicates matters, but it is not the end of the world either, you will find solutions at the time.
Just play the game say yes, and live your life as before that is what I would do.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 7:10:58 GMT
Ok I can see why SW's want couples to use contraception because should they fall pregnant (and people do), they have then wasted money getting you to approval. Also if you were to fall pregnant shortly after having a child placed with you then they have to look at the effect on the child when a new baby comes along shortly after placement, so I think it is only natural that they ask you to take some precautions, but as the others have said, I would not be looking at any thing chemical or intrusive, basic condoms should be enough.
Having said that, as a word of caution, (when we went to adopt first time round) we got within two weeks of meeting our children and I did fall pregnant by accident and yes, we were using condoms at the time, so it does happen! Unfortunately we had to drop out and SS weren't very happy about it at all. We did go back to adopting about 5 years later though after the deaths of our BC.
Just use some contraception and be careful.
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 17, 2014 7:31:11 GMT
Thanks for sharing, jmk, yes I can see that it's important. I'm now in touch with a GP friend who specialises in women's sexual health and she's giving me lots of practical info. I'll let you know what I decide.
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Post by gilreth on Apr 18, 2014 22:47:44 GMT
Because of my endometriosis I am on Cerazette (mini-pill) which as a side effect stops my cycle pretty much. I have always been careful over contraception because of bad reactions in the past, but DH & I were very pedantic for first few years of our marriage as my sister & BIL were going through IVF and we did not want an accident. I went on mini-pill before we started adoption process as the endo was really getting me down so it was never really an issue for us. I know why they do it but it is difficult when you have come to adoption from infertility.
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 18, 2014 23:52:39 GMT
Thanks, Gilreth, I too have a small amount of endometriosis and am investigating the Merina coil. I'm going to see GP to discuss...
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Post by scaredycats on May 22, 2014 7:53:08 GMT
After a thorough discussion on every type of contraception available in the UK - I finally decided on the Depo-provera 3 monthly injection. At least that gives us a bit of breathing space while we decide whether to stay on it or try something else or nothing.
It would be a bit of a nightmare to have gone through all of this only to get pregnant now.
So, the injection seemed best for me right now and it's one less thing to think about.
Panel on 5th June - not long now - and then matching after that. SW doesn't think we'll need to wait long for a match. (Looking for LO (boy or girl) between 0 and 12 months.) Although SW says a boy is much more likely as more of them are in care.
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Post by esty (archive) on May 22, 2014 19:46:10 GMT
Little Minnow would have not managed at all if I'd suddenly produced a birth child. His attachment(if any) would have been really damaged. He struggled big time with the fact Big Fish had been here for 10 years before him and he wanted me to just forget BF as he was 'my new child'. His words. If there was any chance of pregnancy I would take contraceptives until my AC was settled and managing.
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Post by scaredycats on May 23, 2014 7:42:30 GMT
Thanks, Esty, I'm glad I've sorted it out.
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Post by moo on May 23, 2014 8:37:02 GMT
Good Luck scaredycats...........
XX. moo. Xx
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Post by scaredycats on May 23, 2014 17:55:38 GMT
Thanks, Moo, not long to go now!
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Post by knight on May 23, 2014 18:34:00 GMT
Cool, not long at all x
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Post by ladybug on May 23, 2014 18:42:15 GMT
Exciting! Not long to go at all.
X x x Ladybug x x X
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Post by peartree on May 26, 2014 19:25:45 GMT
Hi My ad has the implant & mini pill and it's made a lot of positive difference to her Less period Less pain Much less pms Blossom has mh issues and these were very bad around time of month and these reduced. We did, several years in have a bc following adoption and it's really not ideal You do find ways of coping bit it really is extremely difficult. Not least when you think you're in the adoptive parent group and you're suddenly thrust into bio mum world! My 3 adore eachother But our blossy ultimately needed to move to a tc. She's now living in a small unit with therapeutic oversight It seems to work right now- she's been here visiting today Would your mister consider the op? Hope you get on well through panel  |
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Post by scaredycats on May 29, 2014 19:51:30 GMT
Thanks, peartree, very useful to hear your experiences.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2014 13:13:50 GMT
We were asked to start using contraception in the New Year as we approached panel in Feb. I had a lot of discussions with my Hub and family about this. Even went to the Drs and demanded to be put on the pill because it was what SW wanted (against Drs wishes I hasten to add).
When it came down it it we have decided on avoidance and condoms. There are a number of reasons for this:
1. I have filled my body with enough hormones to last a lifetime with 3 cycles of IVF. For my own health I didn't want to put anymore in there. I was overdosed on the pill in my late teens/early twenties by being given prescriptions far too high for my little body to handle.
2. When we got our final negative for our last IVF we had both decided that was when we stopped trying for a biological family. It has been such a relief to stop trying! We are actually closer now just not having the monthly pressure on us and don't need to get up to anything!
3. I am currently undergoing tests because it looks like at 31 I may be starting early menopause. Kinda finalises everything I suppose!
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