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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 13:28:39 GMT
Hi guys, husband and I are going through Stage II at the mo. 3 more SW home visits to go. But the matching has already started. Panel date 5th June. No BC.
SW has mentioned that there are several sets of twins needing adoption (all under 24 months).
Does anyone have experience of adopting twins?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2014 14:06:55 GMT
Hi Scaredycat and welcome to the boards.  We do have quite a few members who have adpopter twins Jollymummy, Flowerpower, and Leo are three who spring to mind. We do also have quite a few who adopted children with very small age gaps like my DD's only 10 months apart, so although not twins, it was almost like having twins as they came at the same time. I'm sure the others will be along later, so ask away...... |
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 14:57:52 GMT
Thanks jmk. We are not feeling overly confident (having not parented before) and are thinking that having 1 adopted child will be a massive shock for us (it's been just the two of us for nearly 20 years now!!), let alone 2 children. But I'd be very pleased to hear how people got on with twins or siblings close in age which were adopted at the same time. Good things/ difficult things....?
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Post by flowerpower on Apr 14, 2014 15:44:18 GMT
Hello and welcome
Yes we have twins age 6 now came to us age 3, two very different girls, fall out and make up just like all siblings do. And I think it is true what they say that twins have an unspoken communication with each other. They are hard work but love it we have out ups and downs and we have this place to get support PM me if you need any pacific advice
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 15:52:45 GMT
Thanks, Flowerpower, we have another SW home visit on Thursday night (mainly to discuss home-safety assessment stuff) but are there any questions I should ask specifically re TWINS? So far all we know are that there are 4 sets of twins (all boys) looking for adoption (all below 24 months old). I'll message you if I can think of anything else more specific. Thanks!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2014 15:59:43 GMT
Generally I think that having two kids together has pluses and minuses. The pluses being you have an instant family in one hit, one approval, one AO etc, but the down side is trying to give 1:1 attention to two siblings rivaling for your attention. It can be hard.
If you read the boards in general, most adopters recommend a larger age gap between siblings so that if you have a school age kid you can spend time with the younger one whilst older one is at school etc. It differs though from family to family. Chotimonkey is the mad one on here with 3 under 3!!!
You might like to read the adopting siblings thread on the Discussion Board, it's quite interesting.
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 16:05:47 GMT
Thanks jmk, I'll look for that. AO?
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 16:11:42 GMT
Adoption Order! Sorry - I must learn all these new acronyms.... I'll keep looking at that post with them all listed....
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Post by flowerpower on Apr 14, 2014 17:29:12 GMT
One very good thing about having them close in age is that you do not have to be their entertainment 24-7
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Post by oogleschnook on Apr 14, 2014 19:34:28 GMT
Yep, agree with Flowerpower - our older two (very close in age) are great at playing with each other and into the same things. I found the logistics hard when they arrived, i.e. Getting in and out of the car, up and down steps etc and both wanted carried I was stuffed!! Also potty training etc was full on as they had to do it at the same time, but then I suppose you get it out the way in a one-er!
The bond our two have is really special and I think helped them settle as they had each other
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Post by scaredycats on Apr 14, 2014 20:00:18 GMT
Thanks, oogleschnook, I suppose our thinking is that we want to be able to give all our attention to one child to begin with to help with attachment/ family routine etc. and then adopt another later on if that is possible. That way child no 1 will have a sibling eventually but not at the same time as with twins. It's so hard when the SW gives you the information on a child/ children/ or in our case the several sets of twins!
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 15, 2014 21:31:22 GMT
Hi
I don't have twins, but do have three children with 27 months between them, so if you have any qu about the logistics of looking after several v little ones who all need a lot of attention please pm me...
I do think it's helpful in terms of normalising adoption if there are siblings as there us someone else who is exactly the same ax them. It can be less isolating... Ditto mixed ethnicities etc...
When they are still little it's difficult to know how they are progressing, if any of the adverse effects of bp's lifestyle/ medical history are showing yet... You have to be prepared for worst case scenario x 2 at the same time. Or to have one twin who is always (for want of a better word) behind the other if one develops more complex needs then the other
And like others have said they do amuse themselves... Help each other learn to socialise and broaden spheres if interest
It's v hard work starting with more than ond as your attention is split from the beginning and at the beginning they need a lot more attention than normal and you are second guessing two children and how they are feeling. Also they might react in complete different ways and need to have different types of parenting but still feel thAt they are being treated equally.
That said... My kids are a total unit, a constant source of joy and I feel lucky every single day that they are mine...
It' v much depends on the children and their circumstances, some children should absolutely be melt together... Some would thrive being apart... I would do a lot of digging with as to find out more about their circumstances and see what you feel then
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 15, 2014 21:38:45 GMT
Me again... I should have said our children are full sibs but came home separately. squirrel first, 5 months later when her ao was granted came howler, and our little adopted miracle baby came home about 14 months later. It is much easier (but still challenging) to do bring children in one at a time like you say, if this is what you feel you can best cope with stick to your guns, the match has to be right for you in order to work. There are some v prolific bms like ours like ours who fire out babies at an eye watering rate and there are many people who have adopted one first and then have gone on to adopt full/ half sibs of their Los... Good luck |
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Post by moo on Apr 16, 2014 5:46:59 GMT
Hi great question & thread...
I am a single adopter of my two brothers 15 months apart.... We are about to start into year 6 of placement...
Obviously not twins ( sorry ) but coz baa had the worst of it with bf & then f/c he was ( & still is ) emotionally younger than skweek....
It was / is great coz they could be parented in exactly the same way.... They arrived at the run!!! No worries about carrying !!! Mind you baa is very very tall carrying him even at 3 was very hard.... I could no way carry them both...
I personally scaredycats think two together the very best of ways to go.... I think there are more advantages to disadvantages.... Bond between twins is infamous... They will be company for each other & stand a good chance of playing together.... As part of a couple it will be easier to integrate yourselves as a family coz they are little & easy to do joint one on one & funnelling.... I would not hesitate... When it becomes real & you study each individual CPR you will get a pull to one or more set.... It is at this point things will start to gel ( or not) you will surprise yourself with how you feel....
Please ask away it is all still so clear in my mind when I first read my sons cpr's... It brings a tingle telling you about it & remembering those early feelings of terror!!.... We are as happy to-day as the first time we met...as the first time I read their cpr's.... Life has never been better ( or harder!!)..... Breathe & let fate take a hand too
Really look forward to your updates.... Any Q's fire away....
xx. moo. Xx
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