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Post by ladybug on May 14, 2014 20:36:05 GMT
I ordered that book after reading the yesterday too! Glad you are on a better place today x x
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Post by amberle on May 14, 2014 21:36:57 GMT
Great to hear that the books good.. I have a few books that have been recommended over time, in fact in some cases I have 2 copies..no I don't know why.. Lol x
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Post by moo on May 15, 2014 4:38:22 GMT
Hey hang in....
We all have the panic's & fears about our future with our l/o think it makes us all the stronger..... As they say it just goes to show you are considering the bigger picture.... It also gives you Xtra chance to research & plan your way ahead...
Hugs for you xx
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by amberle on May 15, 2014 17:05:49 GMT
So today has been interesting..had quite an interesting conversation with someone regarding adoption. Now this is not supposed to annoy, upset or anything just if I am honest surprised that there is still so much unknown out there.. Don't get me wrong sometimes common sense does prevail, but hey thought I would share. I have just listed the topics, the views and opinions were most definitely changed after.. 1. Surprised that adoption leave is the same as maternity leave..in so much that they believed 1 yr was to help mums recover from giving birth etc. sweet really someone can be that simple. 2. So what happens if BF want LO back 3. What if you don't get along with LO 4. Can you change their name, and their religion. 5. Can you decide what they wear, eat and do
Am off to clean house as it looks like a tornado has whisked through it..I was in a rush this morning, and did not have time for my morning chores..lol.
As I say not supposed to start anything, just makes you realise that there needs to be more awareness out there.
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Post by moo on May 15, 2014 19:47:44 GMT
Gotta say I think number 5 is up there as my very fave of all time!?! Bonkers....
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by knight on May 15, 2014 21:43:04 GMT
Hmm, I've had (and you'll have had similar):-
- "can you send them back if you don't like" them: err, well that's not in the plan !!!!!
- "why do you need adoption leave after intros when child will be in school?": well, I didn't want to p*** off one of the bosses who I needed 'on side' so politely explained that if my LO is having night terrors because of her past trauma, generally struggling to settle, bond, upset/grieving at moving from FCs as all they've known for 1-2+ years, realisation that won't see BPs, etc etc - well I might not be in any fit state to do any work as I'll have gone back to bed to actually try and sleep
- "hats off to you for taking a child off the streets" from another boss.....well, not quite, we're not in Dickensian times
- Amberle, they get that child will acquire my surname but I too have had the "can you change their first name if you don't like it?" ~ nope, a little 4/5 year old knows her name, bless
I'm sure there's more.
I take it with a pinch of salt and to be fair, truly the majority of people have been incredibly supportive and interested in all-things adoption (including the affects of trauma on a child/attachment) and feel they've learnt so much.
x
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Post by amberle on May 16, 2014 4:23:47 GMT
Hi Knight, Had those conversations or very similar too..the " can you give them back" seems to be a favourite.lol, the other one I get is well that's good, at least you will have the easy part..apparently it would seem that LAC are a breeze to parent, so that's good to know..as it means i can have a year off chilling, sleeping, and generally just having a relaxing time.
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Post by ladybug on May 16, 2014 6:29:44 GMT
Oooh yes I can't wait to have a year off having a lovely relaxing time!! NOT!
No one seems to get the extra issues that are going to rear their ugly heads... They'll be fine in a normal living family home! Not realising that the trauma, neglect, abuse etc...that LO has been through can and will cause all types issues for them and us.
My mum, bless her asked if we could change lo's name, mainly because she didn't like it!! I told her no because 1) I actually quite liked the name and 2) LO would be used to their name albeit this LO was only 10 months old.
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Post by amberle on May 16, 2014 16:19:18 GMT
It's funny isn't it people's views of things..I don't believe I was this naieve even before we started the process, don't get me wrong we have learnt a lot..and will continue to do so forever..but still..
Anyway in other news..sun is out, which meant I spent money ( got to have some excuse..lol). So brought, child thermoter, baby scissors/ nail clippers and the cats had their jabs and I brought some Felliway. For those who have not heard of it, it is like a relaxant for cats..makes them zen..lol. Great I thought for when we have a new LO in house and they can be all "at peace" with it..although I do not believe they could chill much more than they do..lol.anyway all safe and have used it before when we moved and it works..
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Post by chotimonkey on May 16, 2014 20:04:41 GMT
If you find felliway for kids please post
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Post by amberle on May 19, 2014 21:10:52 GMT
And so it has been another busy weekend, front of house is now fully done. Won't mention how my back feels after painting the fence, or possibly the redness of my arms from the sun..no no wont mention that. So have had a complete change of mind on the intro books and decided not just to go with the ready made soft book complete with teething ring, I wanted to be creative ( now don't laugh) and make one also. I have this vision in mind that after MP and our fantastic FC does story time, they can do a story time with the book I have made. It's touchy and feely and when finished going to be colourful and whilst I know in about 10 seconds of receipt it will be chewed, ripped, squashed dribbled or whatever on I will just feel a zillion percent better that we did something. It felt like we were cheating a bit buying a ready made book..I know that will stand the test of time but we both spoke about it and that's what we are doing..so we have both gone all creative..DH is drawing some pictures.. I am doing bubble writing..oh how that takes me back..bubble writing, in years gone by I would spend hours writing ..lol...anyway I digress.. intro book version 2 in process.. overnight again our fab FC sent us a few weekend shots to keep us upto date, exchanged a few mails..wow this person is amazing, it's like they know all the things I have had going through my mind ready to ask..lol. anyway then this evening, got our MP paperwork to review..and another little report about us to write...OMG it's really happening, we really are going to be mummy and daddy..we both had a few tears earlier, just staring at each other with inane grins on our faces, it is really really happening.. sorry for the waffling but you know how it is..can't concentrate now on the report, something for me to do tomorrow night..
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Post by knight on May 19, 2014 21:28:10 GMT
Oh my word, how very exciting....it's certainly all becoming very real When's MP been booked for? oh, getting excited for you both x
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Post by moo on May 20, 2014 3:43:01 GMT
Oh Amberle happy days...
You just enjoy these feelings.... I sooo remember never believing that it would happen for me.... Even reading the mp paperwork.... So thrilled for you that it feels real now.... It only hit me after on the precious exciting day that I stood with f/c at her front door as we stepped over the threshold & baa came bounding up yelling mummmeeeee......As for grinning my face actually ached I was grinning so much....
I think we need a countdown to how many more sleeps it is till mp itself.... Lovin' the idea of your book sounds so creative..... Good Luck cutting & sticking.....
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by nomoretears on May 20, 2014 12:07:23 GMT
Hurrah for the homemade book! Much prefer them. Take a picture of it before it gets chewed, then you can stick the photo in your memory box.
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Post by amberle on May 22, 2014 20:41:40 GMT
Evening, sorry I have been absent for a bit..we have been filling in all the MP paperwork. All done now, SW just left and was surprised at how much we had written...lol. Apparently no one usually writes that much. Wow they should of seen it 1st go.. Anyway all done now and given back..nothing else we can do until MP on that. So it will be back to creativity of the intro book for the weekend.. Moo - 19 days in case you are wondering..lol x
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Post by ladybug on May 22, 2014 22:00:16 GMT
19 Amberle not that you are counting obviously I definitely would be counting as well. x x x
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Post by amberle on May 23, 2014 6:59:45 GMT
But that's 19 days until MP..well 18 days today But let me tell you the time is dragging..lol. I know I am supposed to enjoy the quiet time, make the most of lie ins, adult company etc etc but I am not very patient with this now.. ( don't worry I am naturally a patient person, so LO will be fine) but this this seems like it has been going on forever..SW said yesterday that this is one of the quicker matches so who knows how I would feel if it was longer. Oh and yesterday have been told we have to squeeze in another few sessions about cultural heritage before MP. I don't mind that at all. But can't find any information about it..so can't prepare..so if any of you wise ones out there can point me in the right direction I would very much welcome it..xx
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Post by moo on May 23, 2014 8:50:12 GMT
Happy 18th!!!
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by amberle on May 23, 2014 9:51:38 GMT
Thanks Moo x
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Post by ladybug on May 23, 2014 18:21:40 GMT
I know what you mean about it dragging...oh my goodness! I don't find it so bad when there is a date to work towards but when you have no clue I find that frustrating. 18 days time will be here before you know it I am sure X x Ladybug x X
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Post by amberle on May 27, 2014 21:41:13 GMT
So 14 days and counting..that is all xx
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Post by ladybug on May 28, 2014 6:51:11 GMT
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Post by moo on May 28, 2014 14:23:08 GMT
I remember the time suddenly flying & waking up ( or so it felt ) the day before panel?!?,? Seemed bonkers n' as if all that waiting actually never happened!?!? Iykwim.....
Hang on tight the rollercoaster is picking up speed......
X. moo. Xx
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Post by serrakunda on May 28, 2014 19:23:58 GMT
Just caught up with this, not long now! What is the cultural heritage issue?
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Post by amberle on May 28, 2014 20:36:37 GMT
So bear with me while i bring you upto date in my mad world..lol
Intro book..so this has become a bit of an obsession, which as I have said earlier is bizarre as I have not ever been creative, or craft minded..infact have always been a tad jealous of people I know who "just rustle up" a new cushion, painting, dress but nope now I am in with the big guns.. I have felt tails for my cats, I have peek a boo curtains to look behind and the list goes on..I have cotton wall for my baa baa sheep..lol. I have gone all out on a touch and feel intro book..it's not gonna win any awards but I am quite proud of it, and whilst we still have the brought " just add photos" book, I am proud that we have done both, and I may even finish it by matching panel..lol. Ps..all in baby friendly materials, colours etc just incase anyone was worried..
DH has fitted car seat over weekend in his car, bless him he said he fell it made it feel another step closer x
Work is driving me a little mad, as I think they are trying to tip me over the edge before I finish..currently up and down the country, but do you know what I don't care, cos I am only 13 days to MP..
And finally...cultural heritage...well in a nutshell, in BGP they are 1/4 of another country in Thier heritage, and they want to be sure that we understand what that means and make sure we explain to LO as they get older. We absolutely have no problem with that and have discussed this at great length, but we are told we now need to have this cultural heritage meeting before MP..will let you now how it goes as that is next week..
And I think that about wraps things for today..off to colour in another picture.. Xx
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Post by flutterby on May 29, 2014 7:18:42 GMT
Amberle, your intro book sounds absolutely lovely. The fact it Won't be "perfect" will make it so much more appealing to little one.
But the cultural heritage training? Hm, sounds a bit over the top for at 1/4 grandparent? Personally, I think it is a bit patronizing towards you. Do they think you cannot work things out for yourselves or research? Our match did not remotely resemble our ethnic mix and they culture was only mentioned in passing. Mind you, we are such a mixed bunch they probably thought, they are so mixed up anyway - in all sorts of ways ;-) - they will cope.
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Post by amberle on May 29, 2014 18:09:35 GMT
Hi flutterby, that's exactly what we thought..but if we need to have a meeting then we will,you never know maybe we can get a free holiday to do some cultural heritage research..lol. Seriously we are very aware of the heritage and have no problem discussing, investigating it now and in the future..so will have to wait and see what this meeting brings..
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Post by knight on May 29, 2014 20:50:55 GMT
Aww, amberle, your post really made me smile: your intro book sounds just fab. Me and my neighbour (who'll help with, well actually do, the dvd when the time comes) is going to animate photos, make it a bit like "kids tv" type (school age child so should engage her)......all good fun and being so creative with your intro book and final preps will make the next couple of weeks fly by til panel. oooooohhhhh just toooo exciting !!! x
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Post by amberle on May 29, 2014 21:21:27 GMT
Wow a DVD your brave..I think cutting, sticking and colouring just about does us..lol. Anyway another 2 pages completed tonight..I have 2 pages left I need to think of an idea to fill, and then I think we are about done..but I am really struggling with ideas..lol. If I was a brave ( and more importantly technical person ) I would upload bits on here to let the creative team here help us out..but 1. We are not that brave and 2. We certainly are not that technical..lol. And time flying...ehhh no. It's all I can think about morning, noon and night..but then I hope that's quite normal..or else we are in trouble. Am planning to do a little intro card, with letter between MP ( subject to a yes) and intros for close family and friends..got the idea ish from one of the boards on here..so thanks guys. X not quite the detail on the example letters given, but similar Xx
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2014 8:33:32 GMT
I've lost track Amberle -- How many sleeps?
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