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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 7, 2014 13:42:29 GMT
Iwith small children is awful and I have two weddings this summer my sister and my best friend...
My sister is quite chilled and the wedding is at my dads so v easy to manage with the monkeys...
My friends is very far away and includes children... Although there is nothing the actually caters for children... Invite states byo entertainment snacks food etc and timing is terrible for our routine (love this girl and don't expect her to plan her day round us at all... But it makes the day a logistical nightmare...)
And there is the dress... A bad, bad dress that I am paying for and Woud rather burn then wear again...
I'm wondering if I can ask if after all official stuff is over I can change into a less horrendous dress and claim that it is purely for practical reasons when managing 3 wee ones...
I'm being a bit if a grump a pre kids I would have iron loved my friends wedding ore kids but now it just seems like an exercise in child restraint... Sitting still for ceremonies and then dinner and speeches and staying long enough to be polite when I'll be watching for how tired the kids are and how much they can cope with... Middly does not get cute and cuddly and tired... She gets wild and overwrought... And I forgot the one thing they are putting on 'for the children' is a constantly accessible sweety bar... Just what we need is a wild overtired middly jacked up on E numbers with me chasing her in a floor length petrol blue satin and chiffon poofy monstrosity
Any tips (bar serious pharmaceutical help for children and dh and I) for toddler management at weddings... 3 yr old will sit still with books and colouring stuff, 2 yr old is wriggly and 15 month old is old enough not to just be plonked anywhere... But still at v limited attention span with toys etc...
I'm really dreading it... Leaving three with someone isn't an option as everyone we would consider is coming (and v selfishly if we were going to have a night away without the kids, this wouldn't be it!)
Sorry I've really rambled for a long time about nothing significant but I've been stewing about it and needed a small rant
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Post by flowerpower on Apr 7, 2014 13:59:46 GMT
I think wearing any kind of bridsmade dress would be my worse nightmare and I think I would defiantly have a little casual number to pop on right after photos and speeches very except able xxx must run school run time xx
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Post by serrakunda on Apr 7, 2014 14:45:05 GMT
sympathy re the dress, sounds loverly, I;ve had several including a peach crinoline with puff sleeves, sweetheart neckline and big bow on bum, think Diana/Fergie combined. A stick insect might have pulled it off, sadly I am not a stick insect
To be honest i dont think I would take the kids anywhere near the festivities. Can you and DH tag team with them , ie DH take them somewhere else or back to the room after the ceremony and keep them entertained during the formal dinner and speeches and you can swap over later and do shifts
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Post by flowerpower on Apr 7, 2014 16:17:45 GMT
Sorry back now! We have only done one wedding with our girls And luckily for us the bride had 3 adopted LO so the whole day was organised round them but having said that it was all a bit to much for mine by 4:30 we all went to our hotel room and slept lucky for us wedding and party was at hotel, are you staying at hotel if so you can keep sneaking of to your rood to calm down LO and get out of that dress or just 10min on the bed try and enjoy xx
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Post by esty (archive) on Apr 7, 2014 20:49:36 GMT
It's one day. Let the kids hang out and do their thing and wear the dress for ceremony then change. If she's your best friend she'll know that your three monkies are what matters to you and she'll not notice and/or not care about what clothes you are in as long as you are there. Do the minimum then escape for an hour or two with the kids going for a long walk or something. You have three children all very toddlerish. Your needs take precedence in my opinion and as a good friend she'll know that.
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Post by pluto on Apr 8, 2014 5:53:18 GMT
Do not bring them to the wedding, book an hotel close by and take turns to watch the children. If you have a baby sitter bring her. 'Visit' during the reception and take one child at the time for say 20 or 30 minutes. I would not put myself through this stress, there is no need to be there 100%, nobody will notice if you are there 50%. The 'hotel' parent can take the children for a walk, maybe there is a soft play area close by, or a play ground. Why ask what you can wear? Just change into what you feel goed in, remember whatever you do in life some people will like it, others don't, they will get over it  . Oke I write before I read, could just have said agree with Serrakunda  . |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2014 6:29:18 GMT
I agree with Serrakunda. If you are staying in the hotel where the wedding is taking place, I would get DH to keep an eye on them, taking them back to the room or wherever when needed. They simply cannot be expected to sit through a wedding service, meal and speeches at that age, it is just ridiculous. You should be able to do your bridesmaids duties without distraction from your LO's crying out for Mummy, which they are bound to do. If DH can dip in and out with them throughout the day/night, as I'm assuming it's your friend that's getting married rather than his? Alternatively could Granny come along as support/babysitter? And definately change out of the hideous merangue after the meal/photo's. Your bridesmaid duties will be over then and you should be allowed to return to being you. I often think brides deliberately chose awful dresses for their bridesmaids so that they look glamourus on the day, not the bridesmaids (apart from Pippa Middleton) she looked far nicer than Kate! |
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Post by moo on Apr 8, 2014 6:51:46 GMT
Oh choti this sounds a real ordeal...
If you are anything like like me the ordeal will be getting bigger & bigger in your head as the day approaches!! 
Ok think I would try & book a room nearby & try the 'tag team' approach!!! Tbh I would dred it with mine even now let alone when 2 & 3!!!
As for the dress if it turns out to be as awful as you fear DEFFO change at the earliest moment.... Blame the kids!! Blame dh!! Tell the truth...anything you deserve to be comfortable when this stressed!!!
Good Luck.... We will keep thinking of cunning plans!!! ( if there is a premier inn nearby they usually have fab soft play areas attached to the motel...)
Xx. moo. Xx
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Post by justbserene11 on Apr 8, 2014 16:17:34 GMT
A iPad/tablet/phone with films and downloaded BBC iplayer programmes installed?
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Post by moo on Apr 9, 2014 7:07:42 GMT
B11 great idea.... My two had a tablet from Father Christmas & they love playing the downloaded games.... Will keep them focused for an hour ( or longer if I let them !!! )
Oohh very risky pluto... You rebel!!!
xx. moo. Xx
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Apr 9, 2014 7:13:51 GMT
In your situation, I think I would be tempted for DH to stay home with the kids, enlisting some help for him if needed.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2014 11:38:04 GMT
At the risk of being branded a killjoy, I hate kids at weddings.  I was lucky when I got married as there were no kids of a suitable age within my family. Niece and nephew were only 3 and 7 months old, so their mums, my sister and SIL didn't want to take them with them and hired a nanny to look after both of them for the day - Yipee!! Seriously though, unless they are old enough to sit and behave, I just don't see the point in having them at weddings. Yes the can look cute dressed up like dolls (yeuck), but it is too hard on them and you just cannot expect them not to run around and call out at the wrong moment, it's just not fair on them IMO, which is why I never understand those that want them at their weddings, but each to their own I suppose. |
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Post by chotimonkey on Apr 9, 2014 20:42:03 GMT
Thanks everyone and Pluto I like the way you scheme Venue is in middle of nowhere so we can't tag team in hotel... Will bring double buggy and sling (can't fit two buggies and three car seats on our qashqai!) for optimistic sleeping options.. Although george is huge and slinging him is quite backbreaking! There is quite a lot of outside space... We are thinking of dh not bringing Los to church service... It's just after normal nap time and they'd be too tired and wriggly... Then I can do bridesmaid stuff Then them coming to reception buffet and us taking then out during speeches, 3, and 2 year old coukd probably be entertained with stickers colouring pencils and an I pad but really what's the point? They will get or give nothing and dh and I would be only concentrating on keeping them quiet... And george is one and couldn't be kept interested for all the speeches and has a huge deep voice for such a young un!! We are trying to make it into a holiday but where it is has nothing much around it and we would need to be an hour or two away to make a week of it... Making coming and going to the wedding a bit more time consuming... My dad is coming as a guest so could help, as are my brother and his wife, but they are leaving their 1yr old twins with mil and it will be a rare night away for then and I don't want then to spend it feeling they have to look after our children... I'm with jmk on thinking toddlers and weddings are not natural bedfellows... Unless wedding is v child centred if bride and groom have their own... Oh well... Just one day right? |
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Post by littlemisscheerful on Apr 10, 2014 11:44:23 GMT
We had a wedding to go to early in placement - the couple were friends but not close friends. They organised a creche for all the children present.
I think even then though, with securely attached children, it would still be hard to have a fun day. We left ours at home with my mum and dad, - and didn't stay - it was relatively close to home.
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