|
|
Post by moo on Jun 4, 2014 5:45:27 GMT
Great post lob, great day too by the sound hugs to you..... Glad the family are evolving...... Must be joyous to watch the love growing & flowing.xxx
Fantastic posts please keep em coming....
xx. moo. Xx
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 5, 2014 7:01:12 GMT
so day 3 went well. bubs was beginning to show the confusion that hits them around now as to who should I look at for support/comfort. still needing some LOB's cuddles and comfort as expected but accepting some form new parents which is good. was tipping down most of the day yesterday so an afternoon spent at home quietly which was nice, but a little claustrophobic at times with the number of people around. had tea altogether. bubs looking a trifle dazed by bedtime, usually tea is me, AS and bubs, but have my daughter home for the summer and 4 other family members for bubs so a noisy but fun tea time but well out of his normal experience!
fell asleep before his head hit the pillow tonight but had a very disturbed night tossing and turning. day out today so a little less intense than yesterday and a day off for siblings tomorrow which will be much needed I think for all of them. but going well, is allowing them to do everything I do for him except for major grumps when he needs me, but accepts them there even while looking for me. I so much prefer the gentle approach we're using with him than the full on take over quick that happened with little man and that left him so shell shocked. midpoint tomorrow, home early next week. sniff.
|
|
|
|
Post by amberle on Jun 5, 2014 12:31:59 GMT
Sounds like its going well, and glad at the right pace for LO. X
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 5, 2014 15:00:25 GMT
s day 4 went swimmingly well, in the literal sense given the weather! had outdoor activities planned but these were abandoned very quickly after the first 'light shower'! so did indoor stuff which suited siblings and bubs alike, and me coz I got to sit and read a book with a hot drink while being aware of what was going on without having to be involved! brill. i'd be a great distance grandma!!
did early morning routines and the day out, gone 'home' for tea now and bubs is taking a nap. was lovely to see bubs sitting on dad's knee and just looking so relaxed and unstressed today. none of the confusion of yesterday or the stress of day 1, just a kind of 'ok, we're out and i'm sitting on daddy's knee and all is well with the world'! is not constantly looking for me today but throws the biggest beam across when he sees me so I'm not completely abandoned yet! is lovely to have a couple who have not only parented before but who are clearly naturals at this, was just what I asked for, a couple who were already confident in parenting so bubs felt safe from the off (there were a lot of issues around inconsistent and poor handling with birth family that had left a mark on bubs), and that just what he's got, lovely. possibly the most confident parenting I have seen with any of my bubs families.
so hoping tonight we'll get some sleep, sleep is still disturbed which is par for the course in intros but an indication of bub's hidden turmoil. but he is so relaxed with mummy and daddy when they are here I have every confidence he'll settle in quickly and fairly painlessly, and that what ever happens they will be able to soothe him and meet the needs he has.
|
|
|
|
Post by esty (archive) on Jun 5, 2014 15:22:22 GMT
Lovely to hear LOBS!
|
|
|
|
Post by knight on Jun 5, 2014 18:03:45 GMT
Oh, this is so lovely to hear, how he's doing, how the new parents are doing, all from your point of view makes it extra special: thank you so much for sharing x
|
|
|
|
Post by moo on Jun 6, 2014 4:46:56 GMT
Aww thanx lob... He sounds one very lucky squishy.... Great parents....
Lovin' the picture in my head right now of proud new dad with squishy on his knee.... Magic xx
Hang in xx {{}} hope you get more reading time!? 
Xx. moo. Xx
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 7, 2014 18:49:22 GMT
so day 5went well, lovely weather here for a change! bubs left with parents while I went for a counselling session (not intro's related! but useful to unload anyway!). midpoint review and all agreed for move early next week. was stepping back a lot more yesterday and parents managing very well, not fazed by occasional grumbles from bubs. quiet no siblings day and then the first bath and bedtime routine. managed really well, took a little while to settle but again parents not fazed by this, so many panic they have done something wrong or wont manage when home becoz bubs are unsettled but they did brilliantly and followed my advice to the letter (which fortunately worked, hate it when usual techniques fail becoz its someone different doing it!!). went to sleep in about 30 minutes. and today was solo day. am assuming all went well becoz bubs was happy on my return and not too unsettled, very pleased to see me though, glad i'm still in favour with him!  and a solo bedtime routine which went well in as much as I didn't hear any protests from him during it. took a long time to settle though tonight but had had siblings here today and a lot of activities so a little unsettling for him but again parents followed my advice and he did settle probably becoz they are so relaxed about it all, or certainly give that impression to me! short visit tomorrow before they all go home and me to transport bubs early next week. all his stuff packed and ready to go. have left the packed bags out so he can see them and get used to the idea of his stuff in bags and also so I don't forget anything!! (has been known!). final afternoon of squishy cuddles for myself and closest friends tomorrow. sniff. but am kind of disconnecting a little now (self preservation), just want it all done. is a really weird time while he is still 'mine' but not 'mine' becoz he is clearly bonding very well with new family, and I want him gone coz its hard to do this bit but also don't want him gone coz he's 'mine'! no way to describe it really but I know other fc's will 'get' what I mean. |
|
|
|
Post by lovelybee on Jun 7, 2014 19:25:34 GMT
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences from the other side. My heart strings were pulling reading about him leaving you so can't even start to imagine how it feels for you. Sounds like he is going to a wonderful forever family.
I hope the next few days continue to go well.
LB x
|
|
|
|
Post by amberle on Jun 7, 2014 19:46:14 GMT
Hi, thank you for sharing, and it helps understanding how tough it is for the FC's. Big hugs to you and hoping that the next few days goes well. Xx
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2014 7:36:41 GMT
Aaaaaahhhh LOB's didn't realise the intro's had already started and are nearly over.
Wish you'd started a seperate thread so I'd have seen it.
Anyhow sounds like it's all going really well and as parents are already experienced it should go smoothly.
When is Squishy's last day?
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 8, 2014 14:07:21 GMT
I'm being deliberately vague about that jmk! there have been so many moments I would have put into this but really at this stage too identifying! but rapidly approaching, sniff. am feeling very disconnected today, not just from squishy but people in general, par for the course, is how my mind automatically starts to prepare itself, but a very odd feeling, never quite get used to it even though its a well worn survival strategy going back over 50 years in me! am having some specific therapy next week that may (or may not) help me to develop more constructive survival strategies coz the ones I have, have developed becoz of some childhood traumas that have impacted heavily over the years. what I do works for me but isn't terribly helpful to the others involved (and really isn't that good for me either) so changes need to be made!
anyway, i'm digressing, day off today before the final home run.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2014 16:41:25 GMT
Hugs to you LOB's xx
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 8, 2014 20:52:07 GMT
thought i'd been unusually tired, even allowing for far too early mornings and intros over the last 24 hours. just woke up from my third nap of the day, and I have a massive ulcer brewing on my left tonsil. joy (Is thanks to an autoimmune condition that rears its ugly-and very sore- head when i'm run down). but the sore is easier to manage than the mind numbing tiredness that precedes it. accounts for some of the disconnection today as well. hey ho, off to bed to sleep properly now!  |
|
|
|
Post by lovelybee on Jun 9, 2014 7:16:32 GMT
Hope you are feeling ok and got a decent amount of sleep. All the best for today.
LB x
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 9, 2014 15:42:14 GMT
well bone aching weariness has left to be replaced with a 2mm sized ulcer on the soft palate just next to my tonsil, ouchy. but at least i'm not knackered! squishy bubs moved home, all went smoothly. was glad I was allowed to take him to new home becoz he was really dazed when we walked in and sw saw that so hopefully next time it will be remembered. fine by the time we left but is usually bedtime, often several days later when the reality sets in, that unsettledness really begins to show. a good move for bubs, absolutely the right family for him, very pleasing outcome for him. and now to go do what I do best, distract myself with a Chinese takeaway and then start on my 'to do' list before new placements. got home to a message from my fsw about a regular respite placement, way out of my approval so probably wont go ahead, but nice to have it to return home to! and would keep the wolves from the door (tax credit office!) if it did go ahead. |
|
|
|
Post by lilka on Jun 9, 2014 18:01:59 GMT
Really glad to hear it went smoothly and LO has the right family x It's been really interesting for me to read how intros is from your side, so thank you. Look after yourself, and enjoy your takeaway! You've bl***y earned it  |
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 9, 2014 21:07:17 GMT
and thoroughly enjoyed it though paying for it now! (indigestion!)
|
|
|
|
Post by amberle on Jun 9, 2014 21:18:56 GMT
Thank you for sharing, it has been a real pleasure being able to share this with you. Hope the ulcer goes soon, and take care of yourself xx
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2014 11:23:34 GMT
Oh LOB's, am feeling a bit teary myself that Squishy man has gone and I never even met him.
Sending you a massive hug. xx
Do look after yourself - don't like the sound of that ulcer - are you sure you're not run down?
Get yourself a tonic and get yourself well.
I'm sure there will be another Squishy needing your love and attention before very long.
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 10, 2014 14:15:51 GMT
the ulcer is very sore jmk! thankfully have a bottle of difflam spray! but compared to when I first started to get them about 8/9 years ago its much improved, back then it was two or three ulcers every 2-3 weeks continuously, and that was not good! now I only get 1 at a time and can go several months between outbreaks. have had a number of tests etc, they tell me its probably an autoimmune response but the truth is they don't really know but its easier to stick to the script with people! will be gone in a few days hopefully if following the usual pattern. and even though its sore I still feel better once the ulcer appears than I do before it appears so not all bad! I am in discussions about a new placement already, but as said earlier way out of my usual approval and will take a fair bit of negotiation and home reorganisation, would be a regular respite placement so need to be sure the reorganisation would still fit with me being approved for 2 0-3's, not giving up one of those potential full time placements for the sake of taking a one weekend a month placement, though right now respite is all that is on offer, will keep the wolves from the door and even though way out of my current approval it is something I have done before, many years ago, with a young man of a similar age to this one and very possibly with similar needs, though those have yet to be disclosed to me! |
|
|
|
Post by knight on Jun 11, 2014 19:22:09 GMT
Hope your ulcer's starting to calm down now, painful. It's so lovely to hear how you feel about LO and his new family; I hope my future FCs feel that. Hope you get a full-time squishy or two very soon x
|
|
|
|
Post by nomoretears on Jun 11, 2014 20:27:35 GMT
We've been having a bit of a tough time here lately so I've missed most of this diary - was shocked to come on here just now and see intros have finished!! Hope you've had an update from new parents that Squishy's ok.
Do you think the ulcers may be stress related? I get similar reactions when things are tough or when I'm doing a move.
I understand totally about you needing to take a placement to "keep the wolf from the door" - one of the things I struggle with most is the lack of financial security. However!... I took my current placements for the same reason and even now I'm not at all convinced I did the right thing.
|
|
|
|
Post by loadsofbubs on Jun 11, 2014 21:29:50 GMT
To be honest while there is a link between the ulcers and being run down its never been clear if the run down is becoz the ulcers are brewing or becoz I get run down when I get the ulcers! Doctors couldnt decide and have gone with autoimmune as an explanation.
is very likely I wont get the new placement. Needs are not really compatable with fostering babies and particularly toddlers. I havent said no outright but have raised a number of potential difficulties that will lead to a no from family and sw I suspect. I did say I would not be happy to take the child on only to have to disrupt the placement if not compatable with my own and other fostered children. So still in limbo land. Mit get a few days respite in july so heres hoping, even better would be a full time placement before then!
And yes, have now heard from parents. Bubs settling in nicely. To be honest whatever they are doing there is nothing I can do anyway so is better to hear that even if not true! Looks a little dazed in the pics but I expected that, and wearing the clothes I sent so pleased with that too!
|
|
and a solo bedtime routine which went well in as much as I didn't hear any protests from him during it. took a long time to settle though tonight but had had siblings here today and a lot of activities so a little unsettling for him but again parents followed my advice and he did settle probably becoz they are so relaxed about it all, or certainly give that impression to me! 
