I know what I would do if it was my BC, but then the problem wouldn't have arisen.
My gorgeous, 'not wanted' LO has a very shrill cry (that one that drug affected babies have)
Unfortunately, LO also is bright, strong willed, and is under 18 months---so not very verbal.
The problem? Within the last couple of months the terrible crying starts whenever LO wants attention/to do something (believe me, does have attention, and can play happily on own as well) It really sounds as though LO is in great distress, though as soon as we pick, rewarded with a huge smile
My problem is this, as LO will-at some point, be moving to Adopters, how much should we respond, and what might Adopters feel about our 'giving in)?
Oh stuff giving in. You're not giving in, you're responding to a child's distress. Babies are for cuddling, for soothing, for nurturing. Afraid I don't go along with all that 'not giving in' nonsense. Lo has a hole that needs filling by whatever means necessary. You can always recommend a sling!
Mum to three easy to place babies! DS, Bigly (13), DS, Middly (10) and DD, Littly (8) with a range of diagnoses!
One of my littlies is an ear splitter too and responds similarly but I guess he needs us to respond to his distress and is testing it out having sadly had a very inconsistent time of it - if you have strategies that work with the particular behaviour surely that's what the prospective parents will need to know so there is consistency.
either that or ear plugs....
Mum to DS ( 30 and a spell in his 20s living with bm on, off, on) and DD late 20's and newly independent - phew ) ...and still standing!!
no offense to any adopters past or future but I don't consider what is best for them or what they might think about my parenting style. I used to, but don't any more! if a baby is crying and needs a cuddle that's what they get if I am in a position to do so, or they go into a sling/pram, whatever suits them. I know that my last little man has gone to live in a gina ford home, not my favourite idea of parenting but he seems to be thriving on it, but also far removed from my own parenting style. apart form anything else I find the crying of babies very hard to tolerate so do everything in my power to prevent/alieviate it!
foster carer for babies and toddlers, and also an adoptive parent.
Post by justbserene11 on Mar 14, 2014 20:40:29 GMT
When we met our lO's FF they told us that LO liked to be held, but we were advised 'not to give in' to this. Quite frankly, I ignored the 'advice'....if my AD wanted to be held then I damn well held her. Is she spoilt? No she is not. I feel as others have stated already that by doing this and meeting her needs (and being attuned to her) it hopefully has helped build the bonds of attachment, trust and bonding.
Married and mum to AD Poppet (8) and a surprise b (2)
Live, Love and Laugh
(I used to be known as Buttercup, B11 and Bserene11)