Awh NMT your posts are great. Soooo pleased everything is going so well.
Janet and John sound fantastic and Jane is behaving so appropriately, it's you I feel sorry for. Want to give you a big cyber hug.
It must be so hard letting go after all you have invested in Jane. I honestly don't know how you lot do it, but am so glad that you do.
Hope you have something nice planned for yourself when the dust settles.
Hugs, stay strong, you know it's for the best and it sounds like it is forever which is good.
Sorry replied before I read page 3, so you are home already. Your new LO's are arriving tomorrow. Can't believe you haven't given yourself a break in between, but I suppose it's best to get stuck in and take your mind off things.
What a hard job is that you foster carers do. It sounds as though Jane is in the right place - I hope this continues to give you comfort. I hope also that J and J get in touch soon.
I know that I will be forever indebted to my AD's foster carer and much of the reason she is the brilliant little girl she is now, is because of the love, care, sensitivity and concern they showed her when she was so very vulnerable.
Thanks for the lovely comments everyone. Hopefully it'll help other, nervous, prospective adopters see that the foster carers of your little ones have just as many silly worries as you do!
JMK, I don't usually like a break between placements but could probably have done with one this time! However things are a bit up in the air in my LA at the moment, lots of very experienced carers waiting for ages for placements, so I didn't think I could say no.
Plus the children's SW had requested they come to me (bit of a worry in itself! I don't know her and don't know whether its a compliment or whether she thinks I'm mad enough to take on difficult placements!!)
Glad it all went well nmt, and yes, it went really well, even though it was so hard physically and emotionally. You have given jane and her parents the very best start to family life that they could possibly have.
Lucky you, having your next placement so quickly, we are still having the quietest time ever in my part of the country---not helped by some rather bizarre legal decisions.
Aww nmt such a fab fab insight to you & the wonderful love & care you lavish on your l/o.... Jane is one lucky girl!! I am soo jealous I would have cherished you so ......why couldn't baa & skweek have been so very lucky & had someone as wonderful as you.....
You reduced me to tears with every post.... Please look after yourself....
Please post about your new littlie.....
Thanx for your honest & wonderful diary.... I hope Janet & John print it off for jane to keep.....
xx. moo. Xx
Proud single adoptive mummeee to brothers baa & skweek 17 & 16
( 38 & 23 months at placement together ) WoW Where Did The Time Go?....
Still no word from Janet and John, although Jane's SW phoned to let me know all was well at her post placement visit.
If there's one thing any prospective adopters take from reading this I would hope it would be to find just a few seconds in your first weeks as a new family to text their previous carers and let them know things are ok.
Absolutely NMT: I made a mental note to do that when my turn comes: I may even had put it in my written list of 'things to do' from one of the previous threads! You don't stop worrying and wondering how they're doing days/weeks/months in and I'm sure it is nice to have that reassurance directly. It's good to know that all is well with them though.
How are you doing with your new placement? Hope you're ok
our adoption team always tell adopters to text within 24 hours to say all is well. its done at the mid point review in a way that I find excruciatingly embarrassing and patronising, in a kind of 'there there' hand patting way as if a text will aliviate the loss for us. but anyway, at least they do say to do it. and to be fair all my bubs, bar the bbs, have had parents/carers who were thoughtful enough to do more than this and have all sent several texts and emails/photos in the first few months. nothing stops us from worrying but it does help to know that we haven't just been completely wiped out of a child's life. that first text though, while nice to get does always leave me wondering, if all is well then there must be problems coz the baby should be missing me and if they're not then that's not good, and if I was told there were problems (never have been told this!) then why tell me coz nothing I can do about it. contrary creature that I am!!
foster carer for babies and toddlers, and also an adoptive parent.
Hi all, only just realised I hadn't updated here to say I have had contact from Janet and John (weeks and weeks ago, and several times since!) They were worried they'd upset me by getting in touch sooner, and didn't want to hassle me. Hassle away I say!
Anyway, all is going really well - tantrums and fights a plenty but also lots of good times too.