Looking up BF on Facebook

I wouldn't feel sneaky and underhand - they can always block their profiles if they wish to.

I'd be more bothered about seeing things you'd rather not see. Once you know something you can never unknow it as people say.

Personally, I would not. Or if, then I would open an alias account specifically for that purpose. I think, but may be wrong, that there is a function where you can check who has viewed your page, so it might just save birth families having to track you down, because you may have unwittingly given them the info yourself.

Am I tempted? Yes, definitely, if I felt it was safe to do so. Forewarned is forearmed, but it may make for uncomfortable viewing.

Um...I'm going to buck the trend here because I'm friends with DD2's birth mum on Facebook (and some birth siblings). Only became "friends" in the last year. I'm also friends with DD2 and DD2 and BM are friends with each other.

However we rarely communicate directly with each other on Facebook (I just don't use Facebook a great deal). We've spoken a little more on the phone

I think I'm lucky in some ways that I'm being included to an extent in this reunion, and being friends with them both means I see a lot of their communication with each other (excepting their private chats)

So obviously I see a lot of the stuff her birth mum puts on Facebook. I've never found out anything so bad I wished I hadn't found it out, but sometimes I see things that make me sigh inwardly or feel annoyed with her eg. very misleading posts totally minimising the reasons for kids being taken into care and adopted . On the plus side I get to see lots of photos some of which are good to see as I like getting a few updates on the siblings lives. It's a mixed bag I guess. It's not exactly easy seeing everything, but on balance with things how they are, I think it's worth it

I can't see anything DD1's birth parents have up because their accounts have very high security settings, and I think that's definitely for the best. Different situation, totally different attitude to it. I haven't searched for them in a long time. I am however friends with some of her siblings, but I like her siblings and have a connection with them, so that's nice. Very different with siblings and BP's.

I definitely don't think it's snooping to look at anything which is public. I also should say that there is no way you can tell who has viewed your facebook page - there are apps which CLAIM to be able to tell you which of your friends has viewed your page the most, but they are scams. They simply view your friends list and select people at random to stick on the list. Facebook is very likely to suggest you as a friend to BP's if you have a mutual friend or you are in a network with each other, but otherwise it's not likely. I'm not sure exactly how it does it though.

i think its hard, although it was public, i did feel sneaky,

but i did find pics of my ak's half siblings, and some pics of howler with bf at contact (we have pics of both squirrel and curious george with bps, but not howler and i always felt for her)
i also wanted to check, before lb starts, that bm is not the type to plaster everything over the internet, and i wwanted to know what my kids might find when/ if they look when they are older...

im not sure its right though

We were considering v indistinxt pics, but def not now

The only photos we have of LO before she came to us, her BF and siblings are ones I have downloaded from FB. I feel that she is entitled to them - not now, but for when she is older.
I've looked under an alias account - and must admit initially I got a bit hooked. Now, I take a look very occasionally.
If SS had been more effective then there might not have been a need - but then I'm a bit of a nosy so-and-so!

Hi run mum
Being aware of what they might find was v much on my mind too, I'm ok on a computer but by no means super smart and if u can find this stuff, they will be able to... Forewarned being forearmed and all...